What would you do-oo-oo for a klondike bar?

DannyinJapan

DannyinJapan

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Oct 9, 2003
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Corpse Involved in Mexico Motorcycle Crash

MEXICO CITY Oct 21, 2005 — Police discovered on Friday that a passenger on a motorcycle involved in an accident in the rough Mexican border city of Tijuana was in fact a corpse which the driver had been carrying through the city strapped to his back.

The motorcycle driver lost control and skidded in the downtown area and when a policeman approached to investigate the mishap, the driver fled.

The police officer checked the passenger, who had been seated behind the driver, and found it was the corpse of a man who had died some time before.
 
is this another zombie thread? if so, i'll need to convex my ball peen war hammer again & steel the duichira. :D
 
Apparently the man was teaching the Zombie how to ride motorcycles. It's bad enough the Zombies often retain some of the skills they knew in life, but to have actual human agents training them for their own diabolical ends is too much.

There may even be Zombie sympathizers in our own midst.


munk
 
Perhaps it was a well meaning yet misguided member of PETZ (people for the ethical treatment of Zombies), who mearly wanted to sponsor an "at risk" zombie and show him a good time? :rolleyes: :D
 
What is not known is I belong to an anti-zombie organisation called "Life for the Living " This is a group of like minded individuals who are tired of zomnbies taking over our streets .

What is not known or shown in the "official newspaper" is that this wasn,t a man riding with a corpse . It was a zombie riding with a captive . It was the victims valiant effort to escape that caused the crash . The reason zombies are using motorcycles more and more is there is a close resemblance between the average biker and a brain dead ghoulie ! (Also the helmet tends to cover up gaping head wounds which may have been the cause of their demise. )

Members of my organisation have devised a simple method to determine whether an accompanied rider is a zombie or not . A quick application of a Kukuuri to the back of the neck and an examination of the resulting wound for blood flow . If there is bloodflow then apologise to the passenger and if they are good looking offer to accompany them . If no flow then you have freed a victim and picked up a nice ride all at the same time .
 
Kevin, your group is going to have to amend the policy regarding bikers. Some of best friends ride motorcycles.

No, Bikers are not an issue. Volvo owners, though are highly suspect.



munk
 
I've seen the kind of stunts my buddy pulls on his little ninja through the traffic of Detroit. He's a zombie just waiting to happen. It never fails. Just like in "Old Yeller". I ALWAYS get stuck putting down any friends that are zombified. I got into so much trouble with the legal red tape that I have had to start making them sign offical papers to keep it all on the up and up. We call it a Living-Dead will.
It goes something like this:

I,………., of sound body and mind do here by decree on this date of ……… that these are my legal and binding wishes to be acted upon my unplanned post mortem reanimation.

I. In the event that I am bitten or scratched by one of the living-dead (zombie, creeper, pus-bag), exposed to a top secret U.S. reanimation gas, infected by a reanimation virus (or leech-like organism) brought down from a botched space probe or alien spacecraft crash, hexed by a Voodoo witchdoctor, have any green luminous injected into me by a character from an H.P. Lovecraft story, or anything of any similar ilk, I here by request the following in the event that unwanted and violent reanimation occurs.
a.) I shall be swiftly and completely destroyed by the following methods: Swift decapitation by any large sharp object (I require that it be in one blow if at all possible), a single round from a large caliber handgun, rifle or a single blast from a 12 gauge shotgun, or a single very heavy blow (skull-crushing) to the back of my cranium for instantaneous post-post mortem “death”. Upon destruction I shall be cremated until nothing is left. Above all I do NOT want to re-reanimate as a creepy skeleton thing.
II. In the event that I am NOT a violent corpse, the following should be taken into consideration on a case by case basis in the event that I pose no significant threat to any living member of the family/group/squad.
a.) If I am non-violent and semi-coherent or at the earliest stages of transformation I shall be brought along to see if a cure/unhexing/antidote can be acquired.
b.) If I begin to slow the group down I shall be allowed (but never encouraged) to martyr myself with explosives to allow others to escape.

Etc, etc, etc.

Keeps it legal, but i really have to remember not to crack a smile when I do it.

Jake
 
Zombies in Volvos? I've got a metallic taste in my mouth from all the irony.

Jake
 
Now thats hitting below the belt ! Or should I say at the neck line ! L:O:L
The reason some zombies prefer volvos is for the inter-cooled turbo models . They re-route the cooler through the air conditioning system to stop the putrefecation of body parts ! L:O:L

Of course my dandy delirious drivel was meant tounge in cheek . I wouldn,t want to offend any of my two wheeled Kukuuri wielding brethren . I know full well that a lot of bikers don,t mind travelling long distances , especially to show an errant member the error of their ways . Anyway since I moved to the Prince Rupert Islands (yeah right) and live in a well disguised hobbit hole I feel reasonably safe . If you want to visit me and enjoy island living for a while just let me know well in advance so I can escap....oops I mean welcome you properly .
 
Steely_Gunz said:
Zombies in Volvos? I've got a metallic taste in my mouth from all the irony.

Jake
Click to expand...

This is terrible . I have to admit to never owning a volvo and think them rather boxy looking . That is until I looked at the interior of an 840 intercooled turbo station wagon . Theses things have front seats that rival top of the line lazy boys . Talk about travelling in style ! Now if volvo only made pick ups !
 
My guess is that the motorcycle driver was taking his dear departed Uncle Freddie to his home town before reporting him dead, thus avoiding those exhorbitant charges from funeral directors for interstate transportation of a stiff. My kids have been told to heave my remains into the back of my pickup and drive like hell for west virginia (just kidding) :D
 
Between the Zombies, the mutating blackberry vines, and the hurricanes, I don't know whether to shlt or go blind.

And we should all sign Jake's No-Reanimation Pledge. It's just a good idea.



Ad Astra :eek: :D :foot: :p
 
Kevin the grey said:
. . .
The reason zombies are using motorcycles more and more is there is a close resemblance between the average biker and a brain dead ghoulie ! (Also the helmet tends to cover up gaping head wounds which may have been the cause of their demise. )
Click to expand...

What a NASTY thing to say!!!? :eek:
 
Thomas Linton said:
What a NASTY thing to say!!!? :eek:
Click to expand...

REPLY : It was meant as a joke but I will apologise all the same . If any of you zombies out there can still read ? I apologise , it was unfair of me to compare you to bikers ! L:O:L

Come on people it was a joke ! I thought bikers had a better sense of humor than that ?
 
Too late. You've already been reported to PUTZ - People Under Tires of Zombies. :p

(We'll tell Nasty you're just kiddin'. What do I hear? Is that someone down in Dayton going through a box of ballpeen hammers?! :eek: :eek: :eek: )
 
P:U:T:Z: Got me . The reason I,m having trouble typing is that I,m laughing so hard ! L:M:A:O: Personally I think zombies may be the perfect test medium for Kukuuris . Maybe they are nerve dead and we would have to factor in an error of plus or minus five percent . Whatever the decision is I will have to account for the humor factor as I,m still chuckling too much to take a decent swing !
 
Kevin;
I seriously doubt Thomas cared a hang about the slur on Bikers. He was setting up a slow pitch softball for Nasty to belt out of the park.



munk
 
There was a sad story in today's paper here. I don't recall where it happened but a 93 year old man with dementia hit a 50 -52 year old man that was walking. The impact severed one of the man's legs and put his torso through the windshield.:(
The old man was stopped at a toll gate and had no idea of what had happened.
I Googled it and found this, happened in Tampa Bay.

http://sptimes.com/2005/10/20/Tampabay/Driver_goes_3_miles_w.shtml

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2005-10-21-elderly-driver_x.htm?POE=NEWISVA
 
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