Why is losing a pet harder for me than a human?

GWashington1732 said:
My dog, without a doubt. No matter how bad of a day I have, my dog makes me feel better. The same can't be said about any of the people in my life.
Click to expand...

I respect and share your thoughts. My dogs make my day, make me laugh, give me purpose in giving them care ... raid my gardens and make me hide my smiles at their perfect indifference to my sweat and tears on the business end of a hoe. Yes, dogs make every day better. We are agreed :)
 
I just don't know. I think there is just something about dogs that sits way deep in our instincts. I don't "Like" dogs, I'm not a dog guy. but even way back as a kid we had a problem dog show up, and I couldn't pull the trigger on it. Probably should have, but couldn't.

Yesterday a pitt that our neighbors were looking after fell in the pool. We did our best, but no-one saw him fall in, so best wasn't enough. Not my dog, but still don't feel good about it.

My mental state might be a result of how I'm feeling physically, something's not quite right at the moment, but still, it doesn't feel good. I'm glad it wasn't one of the families kids, but still, it wasn't a fun day.
 
I couldn't compare the loss of a human loved one to a dog, especially a spouse with whom you share a home.

But I also think that with a human, there is a sense of ritual and shared grieving. People you know also share your loss, although maybe not as deeply.

With a pet, you grieve alone. People might say sorry, and mean it, but you are expected to just go about your business. Then when you go home, the dog bed is empty, the supper dish is empty, the whole house is empty. My little pointer Kona, every morning before work, would sit on the couch with me for a few minutes and tell me that work would be okay and that she'd be waiting for me when I got home. Not even my wife, who loved her every bit as much as I did, could understand that loss.
 
My neighbor man told me that another neighbor lost her dog to a BEAR up by Glacier National Park. I believe that it was in June but I do not have the newspaper article in front of me now.

This is not uncommon for pet owners even if the dogs or cats are on their own property and under the watchful eye of their owners. Bears, mountain lions, bobcats, wolves, coyotes, etc. get pets quite often. They consider them food. Many bears, mountain lions, etc. are not afraid of people and that presents a problem too.

My Montana born and raised husband, not my late husband, remembers a child who was grabbed and killed out of a private yard by a mountain lion years ago. He knew the relative of the deceased child.

Another friend of ours has been 'making noise' and yelling to scare away a mother bear and her cubs out of his yard on and off this entire summer.

They did not mention my neighbor's name or the private property owner's name in the newspaper this summer.

Apparently they did all of the right things but a problem bear that kept coming onto private property and up on their porch did the dirty deed. The bear picked the dog up from the porch, ran off with it and ate it or part of it. What a horrible way for an animal to die.

Man, what a way to lose a dog! Ugh. (I sincerely DOUBT that the owner of the dog or the male friend had a gun to stop the bear but I could be wrong.)

I remember her NICE and pretty dog and it never got loose - it stayed on her property. She walked it. It was a good and well behaved dog. It did not bark non stop like some dogs do when they are left alone in their house or yard. I used to 'talk' to her dog from down the sidewalk when I watered my trees too.

I don't know all of the other sad details and I will not ask her since I do not want to bring up a bad memory for her.

I saw a puppy down by her house and her walking a puppy on a leash from a distance. I thought it belonged to a relative or that she decided to get a second dog to keep the other nice dog company. I had no clue that the newspaper article was talking about her dog, her friend's private property cabin up by GNP or any of that story.

Now, that story just breaks my heart.

We see stories where people do all of the RIGHT THINGS when it comes to proper food storage, trash cans put away, etc. but sometimes poop just happens. A friend from an old gun forum had a bear break down his garage door. Up by Kalispell. Uh huh. There are stories where they have come through windows, sliding doors, hard back and front doors in the boonies, in the suburbs and even here IN town too.

My heart aches for the lady down the street who lost her dog in such a manner.

Cate
Typos!
 
Last edited:
We put asleep one of our cats today. This one has been continually getting worse after the removal of a infected tooth over a year ago. He has lost a couple pounds in weight in the last two weeks and was hardly eating due to the pain in its mouth. It's hard is about all I can say. They trust you and you just killed them.
 
Because a human who is ill knows. A dog just wants to know why you can't make the pain go away. A much more helpless feeling for you. It is a terrible loss. I am sorry for you and your family. It has been several years and I still miss Misha aka The Worlds Smartest Dog. Sending good thoughts.
Doc
 
Shann said:
With a pet, you grieve alone. People might say sorry, and mean it, but you are expected to just go about your business. Then when you go home, the dog bed is empty, the supper dish is empty, the whole house is empty. My little pointer Kona, every morning before work, would sit on the couch with me for a few minutes and tell me that work would be okay and that she'd be waiting for me when I got home. Not even my wife, who loved her every bit as much as I did, could understand that loss.
Click to expand...

This is very true, a pet is often very close with its owner and the two of them become a very tight relationship than with anyone else.
Pets also know when they are dying. I had a 19 year old cat wait for me to come home before he died. Death was close and I was not sure if he would live the day. When I came home he got up from his bed and tried to walk to me as I got into the house. He collapsed in front of me and died as I cuddled him. I had a female that did the same thing a few years back. The difficult thing about pet ownership is that we as humans out live them.
 
If you mourn the death of an animal more than that of a family member or friend, you have lived your life with no deep, personal, intimate relationships. A room full of dogs cannot begin to equate the incredible, unsurpassed love of a parent for a child. I know first hand the great sadness of losing a loved pet, as many of us do. But the loss of a beloved pet falls infinitely short of the loss of a parent, child or spouse. Consider the possibility that you do not love your dogs too much, but your people too little.
 
powernoodle said:
But the loss of a beloved pet falls infinitely short of the loss of a parent, child or spouse.
Click to expand...

Of course. That's family and immediate family to boot. But loss of a pet (feelings) exceeds the loss of a fellow worker or someone you don't know very well (at least for me).
 
22-rimfire said:
It's hard is about all I can say.
Click to expand...

So sorry 22-rimfire,

The last cat I did such a kindness for was my dad's 22 year old tabby 'Petunia'. Hard choice but needed following an 8 month life extending surgery. And please know in your heart and mind that you have certainly done indeed a great kindness.

Susan
 
I have no answers.

My horse has rounded the barrel more than a few times in the deep grieving loss of both ... my beloved people and my beloved pets.

Maybe the pain is the most pain ever felt. I do remember.

Our hearts learn to protect us, more so with each loss. So that the scent of the morning in summer still breathes life into us. So that nothing can stop the optimism of a new day.

Our losses are part of us as we go on.

I have posted on BF before that sometimes reading here makes me laugh out loud, sometimes it makes me cry.

Well ...
 
Thanks Taldesta. This cat has had more visits to the vet than any other animal we have. It was about an every month to every other month thing. I knew it was the right thing to do and probably within a max of a couple weeks for it to essentially starve to death and in pain the entire time..... When I saw he was really hungry and couldn't even eat the liquid gravy from wet cat food very well, that kind of sealed the deal for me. We made the decision. He knew something was different about this visit to the vet. That makes me sad actually. And it makes me sad just typing this. He laid in his little bed in my office every day between crawling up on my lap and now he isn't there.
 
It was the right call. I'll just miss him.

I never cared much for cats and was always a dog lover until my wife wanted cats. They grow on you.
 
powernoodle said:
If you mourn the death of an animal more than that of a family member or friend, you have lived your life with no deep, personal, intimate relationships. A room full of dogs cannot begin to equate the incredible, unsurpassed love of a parent for a child. I know first hand the great sadness of losing a loved pet, as many of us do. But the loss of a beloved pet falls infinitely short of the loss of a parent, child or spouse. Consider the possibility that you do not love your dogs too much, but your people too little.
Click to expand...

I believe that this is true with most family members and close friends too.

It depends on the person's individual background.

This is kind of like what I was trying to say in one of my former posts here in the beginning of this thread.

Cate
 
Pets aren't mean, condescending, narcissistic, they dont ignore you, they dont sit on their phones all day saying mum yup mmmhhmm yeah, they dont gaslight you...

Prolly more reasons
 
tinfoil hat timmy said:
they dont ignore you
Click to expand...
You have never owned a cat I see :p

Also wow ~5yr old thread

Growing up we always had a dog our first dog was very close to me and when we lost her it was heart breaking for me. We had kept on of her pups but gave him to my grandfather and I can't remember if he was lost/stolen prior to her passing and then my parents last dog passed not too long ago seems like only 2-3 years but I know it is at least 4+ years ago. None of those losses were easy even when the one was lost/stolen it was probably the easiest as we believe him stolen and just hope that whoever did steal him gave him a good home and life I am sure he has sense passed.
 
We have a special bond with pets. For me it is my Labrador retrievers. To me they represent freedom, loyalty beyond reproach and dedication to the pack(family) without prejudice. They lead me to be better and stronger by showing an indifference to pain and discomfort. Simply put it is a type of love that can not be reproduced in any other way.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top