Winter Stupidity

Joined
Aug 4, 2004
Messages
373
I always enjoy trying out new types of handle material. Today, I did some experiments with a new type of handle material, the frozen form of dihydrogen oxide, colloquially referred to as "ice". I have not seen ice handles on any production or custom knives out there, so I believe that I may have stumbled onto something revolutionary.

The way I see it, ice handles have many advantages over conventional handles. They tend to freeze to your hand, which gives you a much more secure grip. In addition, when your hand is cold, it's very difficult to bend your fingers, so the knife is less likely to fall out of your grasp.

Ice is also plentiful, and cheap. After doing some research on the internet, I found that it is very simple to make your own ice.

If you are in a desert, and dying of thirst, you could drink your knife handle.

Ice is clear. Diamonds are also clear, and are also really hard. So ice should make a strong handle material.

I harvested a chunk of ice from a gutter on my house. Ice is easy to attach to a stick tang knife. There are two methods. You can heat the tang using a torch.

heat_tang.JPG


Then, burn the tang into the block of ice. The melted ice will then re-freeze around the tang, locking it in place.

burn_tang.JPG


Alternately, you can drill a hole in the ice using a drill press.

drilling.JPG


Fill the hole with liquified ice (I have a small quantity available for sale for a nominal fee, plus an outrageous shipping and handling charge), and set the tang into the hole. The liquified ice will solidify around the tang and hold it in place.

Here is the completed knife.

comp_sm_knife.JPG


I told my friend Jebediah_Smith about my idea for ice handles. We decided to further explore this idea. After many minutes of research, we came up with yet another new type of handle material.

Essentially, we take small particles of ice, and subject them to X-treme heat and pressure. We call the resulting product "snoCarta".

Here is snoCarta in its natural, unrefined form.

snowcarta.JPG


We aren't releasing any details on how to collect this material. We plan to make large quantities of money off this idea and become rich.

The next step in the process is applying X-treme heat and pressure to the unrefined snoCarta.

heat_pressure.JPG


I plan on making a special machine to apply the heat and pressure because this makes my hands cold.

After forming the snoCarta block, the next step is grinding it to a general shape.

grinding.JPG


Remember, wear saftey goggles and a respirator when grinding the snoCarta. Saftey first!

The handle is then attached to the knife in the same ways in which the ice handles are attached.

Here is the completed knife. The handle is snoCarta, the buttcap is ice.

comp_lg_knife.JPG


Here's a satisfied customer (Jebediah_Smith), holding the completed knife.

customer.JPG


snoCarta could have applications for "tactical" fighting knives. Perhaps, Dark Ops Knives could switch from quartz to snoCarta or ice inserts in their knife handles. snoCarta does not come in a black color, and this could be a drawback for the tactical knife market. Currently, we have only two colors of snoCarta, white and yellow.

I think ice and snoCarta could make excellent khukuri handles. For example, this is how today's UBBB's would look with snoCarta handles.

ubbb.JPG
 
Hey! I represent those comments about Ice handles ... but at least they weren't green. (big grin - I enjoyed the post.)

Ice :D
 
Bad news KM,

I brought my knife inside and now I cant find the handle. Do you think it could have been stolen by a jealous mall-ninja?
 
I prefer cherry cough syrup, it gives a sticky grip and makes your handle tasty if you have to eat it later.
 
Jebadiah_Smith said:
Bad news KM,

I brought my knife inside and now I cant find the handle. Do you think it could have been stolen by a jealous mall-ninja?

No, perhaps even worse than mall ninjas! Secret agents from DarkOps must have taken our prototype! At least you're lucky you or your dogs weren't covertly deanimated in the process.
 
Jebadiah_Smith said:
Could you make me a mucous sheath for it?

My supply has run out as I'm not sick anymore. I've tried blowing my nose but the stuff that comes out is chunky and won't spread evenly. The color isn't very consistent either.
:barf:
 
guys, you made my night. i've really had some good laughs here. one more question though, do you take international orders ? paying is always a hassle though, you americans dont really seem to have the whole international banking thing working. maybe a donation for a fellow european ? i am not french :)
 
ROTFLMAO !!! Very well done ! However, you obviously have too much free time on your hands !!! :D :D :D
 
ronsec said:
ROTFLMAO !!! Very well done ! However, you obviously have too much free time on your hands !!! :D :D :D

No kidding. There arent very many females in Dryden, and the few there are are bigger and hairier than the men. You should see my girlfriend, you'd crap yourself.
 
There's an Island off the Puget Sound called Bremerton. The women are very large, and are called 'Bremerlos' by the locals...


>>>>>>>

Wasn't there a movie about a serial killer who used ice bullets?

munk
 
munk said:
There's an Island off the Puget Sound called Bremerton. The women are very large, and are called 'Bremerlos' by the locals...


>>>>>>>

Wasn't there a movie about a serial killer who used ice bullets?

munk

Thats her, a Bremerlo. Her name is Roy, she can bench press 350, and she has a moustache. I use her to pull a wagon. She would beat me if she ever saw this, but she cant read.

They proved that ice bullets didnt work on a show called Myth Busters. They used a rifle however, and I believe It may work if you used a smoothe bore shotgun, good wads and less powder.
 
Jebadiah_Smith said:
No kidding. There arent very many females in Dryden, and the few there are are bigger and hairier than the men. You should see my girlfriend, you'd crap yourself.
And it's a good thing she can't read or you would crap yourself when she sees this post.:rolleyes: :p :D ;)
 
Great stuff! I want a yellow handled Snocarta one that looks like Osage Orange, OK? I'll have the coolest looking khuk (at least as long as I leave it outside in freezing temps!)
 
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