Women

mamav

mamav

Joined
Apr 23, 2003
Messages
1,413
IS THIS TRUE?

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are
right
and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks
-
this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's
an
even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is
usually
used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside
out,
upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument
that
will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
"Nothing"
and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You
will
get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
"Nothing"
and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she
cools
off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot
at
that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that
she is
content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay
content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a
man.
"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying
you
back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used
with
the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty
big
trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
chance to
come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it
is
that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be
careful and
you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"
when
she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended
her in
some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful
not to
ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you
"Nothing"
 
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

>

> 40-ish......................................... 49

> Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone

> Athletic......................................No t*ts

> Average looking..................................Ugly

> Beautiful...........................Pathological liar

> Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills

> Emotionally secure......................On medication

> Feminist.......................................Fat

> Free spirit....................................Junkie

> Fun.........................................Annoying

> New-Age.................Body hair in the wrong places

> Open-minded.................................Desperate

> Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing

> Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk

> Professional...................................B*tch

> Voluptuous...................................Very Fat

> Large frame................................Hugely Fat

> Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker

>

>

> DICTIONARY OF WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

> 1. Yes = No

> 2. No = Yes

> 3. Maybe = No

> 4. We need = I want...

> 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

> 6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

> 7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

> 8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

> 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

> 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is s*x all you ever think about?

>

>

> DICTIONARY OF MEN'S ENGLISH:

> 1. I am hungry = I am hungry

> 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

> 3. I am tired = I am tired

> 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

> 5. I love you = let's have s*x now

> 6. I am bored = Do you want to have s*x?

> 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have s*x with you

> 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have s*x with you

> 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have s*x with you

> 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have s*x with you

> 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

>

>
 
Man, It's already the middle of January............where's the time going. I'm glad you are all still around and doing well. I haven't had much time online, but Karen has kept me informed a little. She reads under my name.

I hope all of you are having a great New Year and will have many blessings this year. Yvsa, are you feeling better yet? How's the weather up north Munk? Nasty are you staying out of trouble.........sort of?? Sarge, that is some fine work you have been doing lately. I'm jealous.

Everyone take care and be careful. I don't want anyone having to pick you up off the streets......it's not a pretty sight, not a pretty sight. I'd rather see everyone make it to Reno for the gathering. We'll have a great time.:D
 
mamav said:
IS THIS TRUE?
Click to expand...
It's a bunch of truth used to hide one big lie...which is the most important item of all....

"You have a fair chance with the truth"

For anything of any consequence, if they're still talking to you at all, it's:

a) They know you did something but don't know what and therefore don't know how bad it really is.

b) They think you did something really bad but aren't quite sure.

c) They're running a drill to get a better read on your tells, and maybe hoping you'll admit to something they missed.

In none of these cases will the whole truth help. You need to play the game.

a) Use a partial truth, as much truth as you need to build authenticity and make the story check out. Mitigate the actual negative event as much as possible while making the alibi a sure thing. You don't want to get caguht going for the perfect escape because you need to save your credibility (not to mention storylines and favors you may need) for situation b.

b) Be very, very careful. If it involves cheating, there is no level of mitigation. You have to lie convincingly and absolutely. Blame your friend if he is single (complications get too difficult if he's involved, and worse if he's involved with a friend or *god forbid* relative of your wife) "Well Ted was with this girl and..." Fake passing out drunk, being sick, a call from work or whatever to buy time to set up a solid alibi, or if that's impossible and it's not cheating, come clean with as much as you have to a little later after she cools off. Time doesn't heal all wounds, but it may prevent some.

c) The worst time to be honest. If she gets too good a read on you here, you'll never survive a or b. Make something simple up like you bought something small - this works well because if she's thinks she can guilt you into caving on a $20 item, she'll never believe you can pull off the big job.

:D
 
IMVHO, most inter-gender communication difficulties can be avoided by remembering the mantra: WYSD.
^
^
^
^
^
(Whatever you say, Dear).;)
 
We're fine, Gin.
I think regardless what individual words or phrases mean to different persons, the important thing is talking to each other.



munk
 
I feel i know you..

Have we ever had a relationship????? (:eek: :D )



Was that you in the red jersey?

Am sure we had an intimate moment at the corner just ahead!

Me under full brakes just behind...:cool: :D
 
By golly Gin, I was getting ready to ask if anybody'd heard from you. Figured the holidays were keeping you hopping at work. Unfortunately the "happiest of seasons" is anything but for a lot of folks. Glad to hear you're doing well and your sense of humor's intact. :D

Sarge
 
LOL..........if that was me then we seriously had a close encounter somewhere......me and 2 wheelers are a dangerous combination.....:D

For sure in this job, you must keep a sense of humor or you would go crazy....the other night we were briefing a case with an OIT (officer in training) and the poor kid really had a time. He was trying hard to do what he was supposed to since his trainer was sitting right there and all the rest of the detectives and personel were doing our best to crack a joke at the end of every sentence........I think it's called initiation or something.........these guys are great. Of course that case had a happy ending with the creep landing in the slammer. Go team Go.

A couple weeks ago, one of the cases at our center made the 48 hours mystery show. That creep is still on the loose. It never ceases to amaze me what kind of evil people can think up to do to others......It's heart wrenching.
 
Finally, an instruction manual! Thanks Mamav. Too bad it's 35 years too late.
 
Hilarious!!:) I'll have to show my wife this thread. She'll like it. She is one of the girls with a sense of humor. I wish I could go to reno.:(
 
Thanks Mamav! Any and all insights are always appreciated...

Good luck with the job, it's an important one.


~ Bamboo
 
Hey Gin!!!! Uuuuh, by any chance is Karen reading the email I send to your address? ;) :D
 
GIN! It's great to see you here!

I can assure you (looking over my shoulder) that I have never thought any of that was true:rolleyes: and if I ever did think it, I categorically deny it!;)

Take care dear!

Steve

Oh, and Karen, if you're reading this, be good to yourself sweetheart! Being a teenager is the most wonderful/terrible time you will ever experience. But it will get better, and life will make more sense as you grow into yourself. Well, it will get better anyway, not sure about the making sense part. <grin> Hope you're happy and healthy! Steve
 
I wasn't going to read this thread until I saw who started it.:D

Here's another::eek:
"Whatever!" - Beware! Feminine violence is imminent.
 
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