Yet another reason to always have a blade

arnoldglee

arnoldglee

Joined
Mar 6, 2003
Messages
201
Found this on the wonderful internet.


Personally I think that #9 and #10 should be a wee bit higher on the list... Would kinda suck if you reached step 8 and then went "DOH! No knife!!!" Pesky anacondas. :D

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DON'T RESIST THE ANACONDA

The following is from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for its volunteers who work in the Amazon Jungle. It tells what to do in case you are attacked by an anaconda. Now an anaconda is the largest snake in the world. It is a relative of the boa constrictor, it grows to thirty-five feet in length and weighs between three and four hundred pounds at the maximum. This is what the manual said:

1. If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The snake is faster than you are.

2. Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides, your legs tight against one another.

3. Tuck your chin in.

4. The snake will come and begin to nudge and climb over your body.

5. Do not panic.

6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet and always from the end. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles. Do not panic.

7. The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its body. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time.

8. When the snake has reached your knees slowly and with as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into the side of the snake's mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg, then suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake's head.

9. Be sure you have your knife.

10. Be sure your knife is sharp.
 
Y'know, I don't rightly know exactly how to sever an Anaconda's head that is currently wrapped around my legs.

Knowing how impatient I am I might just break out the Remington 870 and blast its head off at about step 6....But that's just me.
 
According to Snopes, this story is false. But I still love reading it.
 
From http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1999-12.html

Todd Cook says: "As an informed Herpetologist, I can tell you that this is not true. Anacondas, boa constrictors and pythons swallow from the head down 99% of the time, almost always after constricting the prey to death. Even if a snake finds a dead animal it will often constrict it to make sure it is dead before eating it."
 
arnoldglee said:
Y'know, I don't rightly know exactly how to sever an Anaconda's head that is currently wrapped around my legs.

Knowing how impatient I am I might just break out the Remington 870 and blast its head off at about step 6....But that's just me.
Click to expand...

My sentiments exactly.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE knives... but if I'm in the Amazon JUNGLE I'm gonna have some fire power on me. :D :thumbup: :rolleyes:
 
I like Unixdork's list better than the original.

But I think I would want to trade the 870 in on a 10 gauge after reading some the accounts coming out of South America of Anacondas seen and sometimes shot measuring in excess of 70-100 feet long. Here's a couple of links if you want to check it out:

http://www.trueauthority.com/cryptozoology/anaconda.htm

http://www.cryptozoologicalrealms.com/english/south_america/continent.html

Downright terrifying to ponder what a 100 foot long anaconda could do to one.

Makes me extremely happy to be living in Florida and not more tropical environs.
 
Are you sure that they swollow head first? I have never read a post from someone who tried this that contradicts the feet first:)

Just kidding, I hope no one actually tries this...
 
misque said:
I like Unixdork's list better than the original.

But I think I would want to trade the 870 in on a 10 gauge after reading some the accounts coming out of South America of Anacondas seen and sometimes shot measuring in excess of 70-100 feet long. Here's a couple of links if you want to check it out:

http://www.trueauthority.com/cryptozoology/anaconda.htm

http://www.cryptozoologicalrealms.com/english/south_america/continent.html

Downright terrifying to ponder what a 100 foot long anaconda could do to one.

Makes me extremely happy to be living in Florida and not more tropical environs.
Click to expand...


Don't go near the Everglades then.
 
Last time I was on Amazon.com, I was attacked by an anaconda. Luckily, I was able to covertly deanimate it with minimal blood spatter.

By the way, this step is very gross in person...

"4. The snake will come and begin to nudge and climb over your body."
 
If you are that dumb to go into Anaconda country by yourself, you deserve to be did-din for that snake.
 
Yep an Anaconda supposedly can outrun a person on the ground. Constrictors do swallow from the head down after they have grabbed you and set there hooks into you. Hooks are just outside the anus and what constrictors do is set them to gain purchase and start the constriction which will probably break every bone in your body not to mention suffocate you. As you take a breath and expel a breath the constriction gets greater.

I have seen a program where they have measured the constriction force and it is unbelivable how powerful just a med. constrictor can be. Also note the Anaconda is not the longest constrictor but I belive the heaviest. The reticulated Python get longer. No known documented cases where a constrictor ate a fully grown human too. One tried but burst or died trying. It seems it attacked a Malayasian worker and then tried to swallow him after killiing him. A police officer happend upon the seen and killed the snake. I belive it was in excess of 20 ft long. Keepem sharp
 
I do not know about you, guys, but I am not going to Amazon Jungle any time soon.
Just to be safe I will stay away from Amazon.com also
 
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