- Joined
- Apr 1, 2001
- Messages
- 135
I've run into a bit of bad luck recently and thought I'd share it with the board.
Two days ago, I found out that my being hired for a NEW and better job has been delayed for at least 6 more weeks. That means that I'll STILL be commuting over 100 miles a day till then. That evening, on my way home from a "side job" which didn't pay me squat, my truck started to emmit a serious whining noise. I got it home and investigated and discovered the alternator on a 97 truck with only 50K miles was about to loose a bearing. No sweat I thought, I've rebuilt alternators before, I'll go to the parts house tomorrow and get the parts. They should be less than $30.00 alltogether. So, The next day, I drive the wifes ride to work and leave her with no wheels. That evening, I call the parts house and they tell me that no rebuild parts are available for those newer, Delco alternators and that a NEW Delco is $250.00 or I can get a remanufactured one for $139.99. Now I'm pissed. I sit down and eat supper before I go to the parts house which is 20 miles away (I live in the country). Before I leave I need to uh, lets say take a dookie. By now, it's getting late so I hurry and drive the wifes van to the next town to get the ALT. I get there at exactly 8:01P.M.. The dude won't let me in. "we're closed" he spews. On the way home, I notice that the gas stations have marked up the gas prices by .13 cents a gallon since earlier in the day and of course, I had decided that I didn't need gas quite yet. So, I stop and get gas that would have cost me considerably less only hours earlier. I go home and tell the wife that I need her van the next day and she will be stranded again. She's pissed now.
The next morning, I get up late for work and on my way to the shower, I take a whiz and the toilet overflows.
After my shower, I'm getting dressed and I can't find my trusty EDC! (Microtech mini-Socom in a custom made leather belt sheath) Well, I don't have much time but I look anyway. It's gone, no where to be found! I leave without it. All the way to work I'm trying to figure what could have happened to it. I finally decide that the sheath must have broken and it fell off my belt in the parking lot in the next town when I went to get the ALT.
I try to call the store but my cell phone has no signal where I'm working! I'm convinced that someone has surely found it and is happily cutting up things with his new found knife. It's 4:00P.M. that day before I get off and can call them. I do and they say thay haven't seen it. I go there and look in the lot myself as well as ask and look at all the emplyees to see if one of them is wearing it. NO LUCK. I buy the overpriced alternator for $152.99 with tax.:barf:
When I get home, I have to take a uh, dookie so I do and the toilet overflows again, this time, not even funny. I put on the ALT and call it a day, feeling sick that I had to spend the cash I didn't really have and I lost my knife.
Next moring, I go and rent a "closet auger" from the hardware store in town. I bring it home and start working on the problematic throne. In the process, I can't get the auger in, some mighty tough clog I tell you! I keep trying until I BREAK the rented auger. I'm going to have to pay for the damn thing. Now I'm really pissed and I'm about at wits end with all that's happened recently. I take the bolts out of the commode, rip it up from it's mounts in the floor and carry it out the back door, nasty water sloshing all over me.
I set the throne down in the yard and head to my workshop. I emerged from the workshop weilding a 10lb. sledgehammer, much to the horror of my wife and children. I raise the hammer high above my head, poised to bring justice when I heard "honey noooo!"and "DAAAAD!!!!" but their cries were overpowered by the horrifying sounds erupting from the depths of my gut, like a war hoop or a pack of wolves howling I was bellowing!! I bring the hammer down with as much force as I can muster, intent on smashing that evil toilet to smitherines! Oh, yessss, my aim was good the porcelain exploded into a million peices and I felt a rush of satisfaction that would almost rival orgasmic joy.
Once all the pieces settled and my wife and children began to close their gaping mouths I noticed something unusual in the pile of smashed porcelain. I was both horrified and delighted all at once when I made out the surprise shape in the ruins of my once proud handicapped height toilet. Yes, it was right there covered in the remains of toilet paper and every member of my family's poop......
My Microtech knife!
Still in the sheath and glorious to behold, although a bit smelly at the moment. I was pleased beyond words to have found my knife while slightly bewildered as to how the hell it got in there. And of course, now I need a new toilet. 
Two days ago, I found out that my being hired for a NEW and better job has been delayed for at least 6 more weeks. That means that I'll STILL be commuting over 100 miles a day till then. That evening, on my way home from a "side job" which didn't pay me squat, my truck started to emmit a serious whining noise. I got it home and investigated and discovered the alternator on a 97 truck with only 50K miles was about to loose a bearing. No sweat I thought, I've rebuilt alternators before, I'll go to the parts house tomorrow and get the parts. They should be less than $30.00 alltogether. So, The next day, I drive the wifes ride to work and leave her with no wheels. That evening, I call the parts house and they tell me that no rebuild parts are available for those newer, Delco alternators and that a NEW Delco is $250.00 or I can get a remanufactured one for $139.99. Now I'm pissed. I sit down and eat supper before I go to the parts house which is 20 miles away (I live in the country). Before I leave I need to uh, lets say take a dookie. By now, it's getting late so I hurry and drive the wifes van to the next town to get the ALT. I get there at exactly 8:01P.M.. The dude won't let me in. "we're closed" he spews. On the way home, I notice that the gas stations have marked up the gas prices by .13 cents a gallon since earlier in the day and of course, I had decided that I didn't need gas quite yet. So, I stop and get gas that would have cost me considerably less only hours earlier. I go home and tell the wife that I need her van the next day and she will be stranded again. She's pissed now.
The next morning, I get up late for work and on my way to the shower, I take a whiz and the toilet overflows.
After my shower, I'm getting dressed and I can't find my trusty EDC! (Microtech mini-Socom in a custom made leather belt sheath) Well, I don't have much time but I look anyway. It's gone, no where to be found! I leave without it. All the way to work I'm trying to figure what could have happened to it. I finally decide that the sheath must have broken and it fell off my belt in the parking lot in the next town when I went to get the ALT. I try to call the store but my cell phone has no signal where I'm working!
I'm convinced that someone has surely found it and is happily cutting up things with his new found knife. It's 4:00P.M. that day before I get off and can call them. I do and they say thay haven't seen it. I go there and look in the lot myself as well as ask and look at all the emplyees to see if one of them is wearing it. NO LUCK. I buy the overpriced alternator for $152.99 with tax.:barf: When I get home, I have to take a uh, dookie so I do and the toilet overflows again, this time, not even funny.
I put on the ALT and call it a day, feeling sick that I had to spend the cash I didn't really have and I lost my knife.Next moring, I go and rent a "closet auger" from the hardware store in town. I bring it home and start working on the problematic throne. In the process, I can't get the auger in, some mighty tough clog I tell you! I keep trying until I BREAK the rented auger.
I'm going to have to pay for the damn thing. Now I'm really pissed and I'm about at wits end with all that's happened recently. I take the bolts out of the commode, rip it up from it's mounts in the floor and carry it out the back door, nasty water sloshing all over me. I set the throne down in the yard and head to my workshop. I emerged from the workshop weilding a 10lb. sledgehammer, much to the horror of my wife and children. I raise the hammer high above my head, poised to bring justice when I heard "honey noooo!"and "DAAAAD!!!!" but their cries were overpowered by the horrifying sounds erupting from the depths of my gut, like a war hoop or a pack of wolves howling I was bellowing!! I bring the hammer down with as much force as I can muster, intent on smashing that evil toilet to smitherines! Oh, yessss, my aim was good the porcelain exploded into a million peices and I felt a rush of satisfaction that would almost rival orgasmic joy.
Once all the pieces settled and my wife and children began to close their gaping mouths I noticed something unusual in the pile of smashed porcelain. I was both horrified and delighted all at once when I made out the surprise shape in the ruins of my once proud handicapped height toilet. Yes, it was right there covered in the remains of toilet paper and every member of my family's poop......
My Microtech knife!
Still in the sheath and glorious to behold, although a bit smelly at the moment. I was pleased beyond words to have found my knife while slightly bewildered as to how the hell it got in there. And of course, now I need a new toilet. 
