(I wrote this up about a year ago today, while I was still cold...)
Today was a truly lovely day - in the mid 60s, bright sunlight, a gentle breeze - a perfect day for sailing.
After my wife and I picked up our daughter from school, I rigged up my dory for sailing, and launched from my mother's beach, on the North Shore of Orcas, in a pass famous for killing stupid kayakers every year, who capsize, are swept away by the heavy currents, and then proceed to freeze to death in the 45 degree water.
This, of course, wouldn't happen to me ever - I'm far too clever for that, and habitually overprepared for potential emergency situations.
Before setting out, I carefully checked the tide and current charts, to make sure that if I did capsize, and for some reason couldn't restore the boat to an upright and dry status, I wouldn't be swept away to Canada or Bellingham. No problem - slack currents at the time I'm launching, and a "slight" 1-2 knot current sweeping towards the point about the time I'm heading back.
So, I'm heading out from the beach, and trying a few practice tacks. This dory has way too much canvas, being rigged for racing, but I've experimented all winter with the rigging to reduce its power to a level suitable for just messing about. Several things are clear after a short period of on-water trials - first, that my rigging changes haven't helped a bit and the boat is still too unstable, and second, that the nice smooth breeze has died out, and has been replaced with medium gusts from random directions.
I set out trying to make it back to Mom's beach. I had tried to remain within 100 yards of the beach during the trials, Just In Case. However, due to the winds, to make it back, I had to take a few long tacks, one of which took me quite a ways off the beach.
At this point, two things happened - a rather strong gust from The Wrong Direction hit, and, as I was letting out the mainsheet to dump the gust, the mainsheet jammed.
Two hundred fifty pound dories with lots of sail capsize very very quickly in such circumstances. But just slowly enough so you realize that you're about to take a swim. In 45-48 degree water. Words do not describe the sensation of plunging into this water, nor your thoughts as you are about to do so.
In water of this temperature, the average person loses effectiveness in 15 minutes, and after half an hour, is unconscious. In an hour, unless you know what to do, you are dead. You can extend the time to 4 hours if you are clueful.
So here I am, off the beach, waving at my wife, my daughter, my mom, and my Grandma. I pull the ripcord on my over-the-top offshore life jacket, which inflates with a very cool and inspiring POP! I then attempt 3 times to right the dory, using tried-and-true techniques. I right the boat several times, but it is so swamped, and the wind is puffy enough, that it goes back over again, and I am unable to get in the boat. Bummer.
At this point, I realize I am in trouble. I'm losing a lot of energy and heat trying to right the boat, and my hands are losing their fine motor control. I'm too far off the beach to swim back for sure, and the wind is blowing off the beach. I wave the "rescue my sorry self" signal at my family, blow my little whistle attached to the life jacket, shout "Mayday!" a few times, and observe their reactions. They are still waving at me, as if they are waiting for me to do something clever. Uh oh.
Now, I'm thinking real hard about the whole pile of flares I have with me. All carefully packed away in watertight ziplock bags. Rolled up in a big yellow rubber dry bag. Which is neatly packed in the stern watertight compartment. Ooops.
Well, I've got my handy-dandy waterproof VHF radio. On a cord, tied to the boat. I swim around to the other side of the boat, feel around, and locate the cord. I look at the radio with a smile - being overprepared pays off at last! I turn it on, and issue a Mayday. I hear only static. Odd, I'm only 10 miles from the Bellingham Coast Guard Station... I repeat my Mayday a few times more, hear one brief static-filled "Mayday off Orcas..." phrase on the speaker, then the expensive, waterproof, hi-tech VHF goes "Zzzzzt! Poof." Hmmm.
The current is now carrying me along the coastline, opposing the wind nicely, so I am heading for the point, as planned. Clever me. I project that in another 30 minutes or so, I'll be in range of swimming a short distance to the point. If the wind shifts, I'll be carried onto Parker Reef instead, and can climb onto the marker tower and freeze to death there. Such good planning.
I notice my wife is no longer on the beach - hopefully she has gone to get some help. I rig up a wee step with the jib and a line I can reach, so I can step partway out of the water, and get the top half of me out of the water while clinging to the hull of the boat. With some luck, I could now survive 4-5 hours easily, if I don't get too weak to hold on to the boat. Which is not-so-slowly happening, I note with some concern.
When I get onto my step, after a few more minutes, I notice that my wife and my mom's 72-year-old neighbor have dragged a small 6 foot skiff from someone's house to the beach, and are apparently about to set out rowing to rescue me. This should be good - neither of them have life jackets, the skiff is too small, and the wind is blowing. We'll all make the papers for sure...
I'm now directly offshore the Orcas airport. Several planes land, right over top me, but I don't think any of them see my signals. Too bad the flares are so carefully stored away. I'm conserving my energy now, for either a last-ditch swim for the point or the reef as I get closer, or any needed rescue of my wife and the neighbor.
Since my fine muscle control is now about gone, I am about to pull the cord on my Breitling Emergency, which contains an EPIRB, a miniature satellite emergency rescue beacon. Generally, in coastal waters hereabouts, within an hour of deploying one, a nice shiny Coast Guard cutter or helicopter shows up, and rescues you and Ursala Andress. I wonder if it'll work as well as my VHF radio did.
As I am reaching for it, I see a power boat coming out of the small marina nearby, with a few people in it. I wave at them, and they wave back. This is a good sign, I think.
They approach, and I yell out "how do you want to do this"? "Good question!" they respond, as one of them, the Sheriff, attempts to spear me with a boathook (something clearly prohibited by the Marine Mammal Protection Act). "Well, how about we start by turning off the propellers?" I suggest. "Good idea!". I then swim to the back of the boat, and, with their help, manage to haul my frozen self over the stern, much like landing a giant halibut. On board are the sheriff, who responded to a phone call from Moana, but who did not have a boat, the port commisioner, who was at the marina, and two of Mom's neighbors, who had rushed from their house seeing me signal as I drifted past, ran to the marina, and hopped in their boat to save me. They wrap me in blankets, and rush me back to the dock at the marina, where the paramedics are waiting. Along with about a dozen onlookers from a nearby resort and someone snapping photos for the town paper. Great...
The nice paramedics provide more blankets, handy warming packs, and give me an exam. As I was in the water perhaps 30 minutes, everyone is amazed at the state I am in - I am still lucid, able to walk, and my core body temperature has only dropped to 97.5. Apparently, this is quite rare after 30 minutes. My blood pressure is 146 over 96, up from my normal 120/80 or so. My pulse is at 116, up from my normal 65 or so. The paramedics and sheriff complement me on my clever use of life vest and emergency rescue equipment.
They call off the Coast Guard, which apparently heard my first few Maydays before the radio died, and dispatched both a helicopter and a rescue boat. They were only another 2 minutes from arriving on-site. Sometimes you get true value for your tax dollars.
They warmed me up for another 25 minutes, while my wife came over to pick me up. They decided that I didn't need to go to the hospital. The doctor who was coordinating the paramedics over the radio was amazed at the vital signs - I overheard one of the paramedics say "I don't know, but he's, ummm, pretty well insulated, it looks like."
My mom's neighbor about this time pulls into the harbor towing my dory, which he had rescued. He managed to even retrieve most of the flotsam - boat cushions and boat parts, except for a single paddle and a pump. What a guy!
My wife took me back to my mom's house, where mom draped me with warmed-in-the-dryer comforters, made me miso soup, hot tea, and grilled cheese sandwiches. It's sometimes really good to have your Mom handy.
Lessons learned:
0) You can never be too overprepared.
0a) Even the best gear fails when you need it most.
1) Don't get out of the boat!
1a) If you do get out of the boat, make sure the water is warm.
1b) Drink lots of beer in college, so you have plenty of
insulation.
2) Don't panic - take the time to come up with a plan.
2a) Several plans are even better.
2b) Having the plan thought out before the emergency is better
still.
3) If you don't have a piece of emergency gear attached to your body,
it's of no earthly use to you.
4) Make sure you haven't pissed off your neighbors if you live on a
small island - they may be fishing you out of the water some day.
5) When in doubt, get a bigger boat.
6) Positive mental attitude.