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A Day in the Half Life of munk
- Thread starter munk
- Start date
- Joined
- Nov 3, 1998
- Messages
- 4,331
I used to feel so old. Ancient, decrepit. Not outside, but where it counted. Like the world was pressing down on my shoulders, and I was older than time.
I was bitter. I spent my time regretting the past, and dreading the future. One of the poems I wrote when I was 21 ended like this:
Sometimes I hate God above
Who put me in this hell
And if I held "the button",
I'd take you there, as well
While that can be considered artistic overstatement, the sentiment was close to how I often felt.
Through various experiences, I learned the concept of living in the moment, for the moment is all you really ever have. The actions you are happiest making now are the ones you will be happiest you took, 50 years from now, or tomorrow.
I started saying, "I was lucky enough to..." and "I was fortunate to..." When I had said this several times, I caught myself. I looked inside. I realized, for the first time, that I did feel fortunate. I had forgiven myself for not being "good" enough, brave enough, fit enough, and anything "enough", and in forgiving myself, my anger at everyone else and the world had fallen away.
Every now and then, perhaps when I long for the feel of my own child held safely in my arms, or the caress of a dearly loved wife, I forget how fortunate I truly am.
We have had so many sick and stricken among us, lately. It really tends to put things in perspective. All that I have, as much as I sometimes enjoy it, can go. It really means nothing, toys to amuse me, useful only in how long it holds my attention, or to the degree I can defend those I love.
Only people really count. Munk, you have those. Deny the trap of self-pity, refuse to bow to melancholy. Revel in the life, the good, young, healthy life of those you have been blessed with, those who have been entrusted into your care.
We have so much.
John
I was bitter. I spent my time regretting the past, and dreading the future. One of the poems I wrote when I was 21 ended like this:
Sometimes I hate God above
Who put me in this hell
And if I held "the button",
I'd take you there, as well
While that can be considered artistic overstatement, the sentiment was close to how I often felt.
Through various experiences, I learned the concept of living in the moment, for the moment is all you really ever have. The actions you are happiest making now are the ones you will be happiest you took, 50 years from now, or tomorrow.
I started saying, "I was lucky enough to..." and "I was fortunate to..." When I had said this several times, I caught myself. I looked inside. I realized, for the first time, that I did feel fortunate. I had forgiven myself for not being "good" enough, brave enough, fit enough, and anything "enough", and in forgiving myself, my anger at everyone else and the world had fallen away.
Every now and then, perhaps when I long for the feel of my own child held safely in my arms, or the caress of a dearly loved wife, I forget how fortunate I truly am.
We have had so many sick and stricken among us, lately. It really tends to put things in perspective. All that I have, as much as I sometimes enjoy it, can go. It really means nothing, toys to amuse me, useful only in how long it holds my attention, or to the degree I can defend those I love.
Only people really count. Munk, you have those. Deny the trap of self-pity, refuse to bow to melancholy. Revel in the life, the good, young, healthy life of those you have been blessed with, those who have been entrusted into your care.
We have so much.
John
I should clarify thinking about retirement at age 47; that is the age most people look the future and see the end.
My job is raising the sons I made. I became the chief bottle washer by virtue of not being able to make the kind of money my wife can= a professional. Sort of a lesson there...
Married at 35, I didn't stop an hourly wage until 40. It took many years of planning and work to end up in Montana.
I'm sorry if my thread seemed sad. Perhaps it and I was.
But I see most of us in the same boat. I don't feel alone in that respect.
Bruce, I ate beans when I had little. Cat food is too expensive.
I made a mistake with the title of this thread- too much attention on me; it should have been a Day in the Half life, period. Tried to change it but the program refused.
You see, I don't want to squander the "hang in there's"; someday I might really need them. No, someday I will need them. You people are very fine.
munk
My job is raising the sons I made. I became the chief bottle washer by virtue of not being able to make the kind of money my wife can= a professional. Sort of a lesson there...
Married at 35, I didn't stop an hourly wage until 40. It took many years of planning and work to end up in Montana.
I'm sorry if my thread seemed sad. Perhaps it and I was.
But I see most of us in the same boat. I don't feel alone in that respect.
Bruce, I ate beans when I had little. Cat food is too expensive.
I made a mistake with the title of this thread- too much attention on me; it should have been a Day in the Half life, period. Tried to change it but the program refused.
You see, I don't want to squander the "hang in there's"; someday I might really need them. No, someday I will need them. You people are very fine.
munk
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2002
- Messages
- 127
Well Munk maybe this will make you feel better:
(dont care about my first wife)
Second wife took me for EVERYTHING I had (had to have a friend *steel* my truck so I could keep it) That included her brand new car (92 Lexus) and the house I had bough...cash!
Now I got some coin up (got my shape) and am looking at La Legion Etrangere du Franc as my only out let.
Tell ya what... I'll drink to you tonight!
PS....as for pet food...when I was out, I couldnt aford that stuf. I actualty learn how and when and where to eat out of dumpsters.
Still prefer potatos and rice if I get that low down again.
(dont care about my first wife)
Second wife took me for EVERYTHING I had (had to have a friend *steel* my truck so I could keep it) That included her brand new car (92 Lexus) and the house I had bough...cash!
Now I got some coin up (got my shape) and am looking at La Legion Etrangere du Franc as my only out let.
Tell ya what... I'll drink to you tonight!
PS....as for pet food...when I was out, I couldnt aford that stuf. I actualty learn how and when and where to eat out of dumpsters.
Still prefer potatos and rice if I get that low down again.
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2001
- Messages
- 4,238
Munk and friends,
I've no words of wisdom.
I eat breakfast most mornings with a group of acquaintences at a restaurant before work. There's a waitress there who always has the most amazing attitude. She's never failed to smile, not a little smile, but a face splitting, ear to ear grin. She always answers "I'm great!" when asked how she is, even when she's sick, or worked first the morning shift, then till midnight the day before at another restaurant. She's a single mom with 2 kids, no child support, and no one to help her. I asked her how she is always so cheerful and she answered "I have to be". That has taught me more about how to live positively and happily than anything else lately. I used to answer "I'm hanging in there" when asked how I was. Now it's Outstanding! or Excellent! or "Rip snortin and rarin to go!". Don't know why, but it helps me.
Like I said, no words of wisdom.
Steve in NC, "Fine as frog hair!"
I've no words of wisdom.
I eat breakfast most mornings with a group of acquaintences at a restaurant before work. There's a waitress there who always has the most amazing attitude. She's never failed to smile, not a little smile, but a face splitting, ear to ear grin. She always answers "I'm great!" when asked how she is, even when she's sick, or worked first the morning shift, then till midnight the day before at another restaurant. She's a single mom with 2 kids, no child support, and no one to help her. I asked her how she is always so cheerful and she answered "I have to be". That has taught me more about how to live positively and happily than anything else lately. I used to answer "I'm hanging in there" when asked how I was. Now it's Outstanding! or Excellent! or "Rip snortin and rarin to go!". Don't know why, but it helps me.
Like I said, no words of wisdom.
Steve in NC, "Fine as frog hair!"
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2000
- Messages
- 3,708
Wow! Outstanding thread!!!
THIS is why I love this forum. I like the lighthearted stuff, bear threads khuk thread etc..but what I really like is how everyone hear lets their guard down and spills their guts in a heartbeat if they think it will make someone else feel better. Men have intimacy issues my ass! Its just when you use creepy words like "intimacy" that our privates shrivel up
I agree with Bex. I have been reading quite a few amazing books lately in my "spare time" ie when I should be sleeping. ONe that I wholeheartedly recommend for anyone who wants to live more in the present moment (without neglecting your responsibilies in the future) is called "The power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. Also the "miracle of mindfullness" by Thich Nat Hanh.
Munk, I can really appreciate your situation. I have often felt like I haven't done anything worthwhile that my kids will be proud of or that I can be proud of. But someone said it well earlier when they spoke of their grandfather and how everyone thought well of him. All we can do is be the best people we can be, and treat everyone with kindness if possible. That's what people will remember and care about.
You know what would be sad? If your kids had this memory "my dad? well I didn't really know him that well...he was always at work" instead of "my dad raised me and taught me all I know about life. He probably wished he could have had a career, but he gave that up cause he thought it would be the best thing for the family" Now THAT is the way to be remembered IMHO.
THIS is why I love this forum. I like the lighthearted stuff, bear threads khuk thread etc..but what I really like is how everyone hear lets their guard down and spills their guts in a heartbeat if they think it will make someone else feel better. Men have intimacy issues my ass! Its just when you use creepy words like "intimacy" that our privates shrivel up
I agree with Bex. I have been reading quite a few amazing books lately in my "spare time" ie when I should be sleeping. ONe that I wholeheartedly recommend for anyone who wants to live more in the present moment (without neglecting your responsibilies in the future) is called "The power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. Also the "miracle of mindfullness" by Thich Nat Hanh.
Munk, I can really appreciate your situation. I have often felt like I haven't done anything worthwhile that my kids will be proud of or that I can be proud of. But someone said it well earlier when they spoke of their grandfather and how everyone thought well of him. All we can do is be the best people we can be, and treat everyone with kindness if possible. That's what people will remember and care about.
You know what would be sad? If your kids had this memory "my dad? well I didn't really know him that well...he was always at work" instead of "my dad raised me and taught me all I know about life. He probably wished he could have had a career, but he gave that up cause he thought it would be the best thing for the family" Now THAT is the way to be remembered IMHO.
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2001
- Messages
- 5,946
Yeah, the title was misleading. I thought you were somehow radioactive or something.
Rob,
Nice to see you around here again my friend. I guess all of us have been back and forward over the last few years.
I just looked up the full lyrics of that quote in your avatar. Reminded me how I havent listened to nearly enough of the late great Man in Black. Seems strangely relevant to this thread as well.
From http://maninblack.net/lyrics/I WISH I WAS CRAZY AGAIN.htm
I WISH I WAS CRAZY AGAIN
(Bob McDill)
« © '77 Hall-Clement Publications »
[ duet with Waylon Jennings ]
I met an old friend this morning and I stopped him and called him by name
I said the years haven't changed you but he said good Lord how you've changed
So we stood there and talked on the corner and remembered the good times we had
Then he asked if we're happy together and I only smiled and I said
Yes she keeps me off the streets and she keeps me out of trouble
Sometimes at night Lord when I hear the wind
I wish I was crazy again yes I wish I was crazy again
[ guitar ]
Then we stopped in at a tavern we had us a round or two
We called ourselves old desperados old deperados as old friends are likely to do
We sat for a while and remembered then he said let's have just one more
I said I'd sure like to join you but best be goin' on home
Yes she keeps me off the streets...
She keeps me off the streets...
Nice to see you around here again my friend. I guess all of us have been back and forward over the last few years.
I just looked up the full lyrics of that quote in your avatar. Reminded me how I havent listened to nearly enough of the late great Man in Black. Seems strangely relevant to this thread as well.
From http://maninblack.net/lyrics/I WISH I WAS CRAZY AGAIN.htm
I WISH I WAS CRAZY AGAIN
(Bob McDill)
« © '77 Hall-Clement Publications »
[ duet with Waylon Jennings ]
I met an old friend this morning and I stopped him and called him by name
I said the years haven't changed you but he said good Lord how you've changed
So we stood there and talked on the corner and remembered the good times we had
Then he asked if we're happy together and I only smiled and I said
Yes she keeps me off the streets and she keeps me out of trouble
Sometimes at night Lord when I hear the wind
I wish I was crazy again yes I wish I was crazy again
[ guitar ]
Then we stopped in at a tavern we had us a round or two
We called ourselves old desperados old deperados as old friends are likely to do
We sat for a while and remembered then he said let's have just one more
I said I'd sure like to join you but best be goin' on home
Yes she keeps me off the streets...
She keeps me off the streets...
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2003
- Messages
- 293
Originally posted by Bex
You're not doing badly at all. Next time I'm in London you can feel free to buy me a drink.
Depends how solvent I am, soon to be a fully fledged university student (just working out whether I am going to keep my Khuks in my dorm or at home, hmm...) and thus skint
.I too thought it was something about radioactivity, then wondered if it Munk worked in a power plant or something
Ferg, people like that are great aren't they? The woman at the canteen at school was like that, however tired I was when I stumbled in, whatever was going on, however serious my (really tiny little) problems seemed whenever I went in, said hi, asked how she was and had a short chat about how things were going even if it was in a kind of pessimistic British 'oh no its raining again' sort of way it would still cheer me up, always great.
- Joined
- Mar 5, 1999
- Messages
- 34,096
Great stuff and thanks.
Dont worry Munk. It's all a downhill run now. Easy.
Dont worry Munk. It's all a downhill run now. Easy.
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2003
- Messages
- 88
Life is an ever changing process. The decissions of today effect tommorrow. So live life to its fullest and never look back. Be thankful for what you have(except for when it comes to khuks )Enjoy the little pleasures that life brings.
My favorite Family Story;
About 8 years ago I got a phone call from my Uncle Tony, he wanted to come to Florida and visit for his 71st birthday. I told him he was more than welcomed and to let me know his flight number and arrival time (assuming her was flying). Did not hear from him for a few day. Then one afternoon I heard a motorcycle pull up in the drive. It was my Uncle Tony on his last bike run. He had drove from NC to FL, to visit then was going to TX then CA then back to TX the Fl again then home. He was on the road for 7 months visiting relative and freinds. 3 weeks after his trip he was not feeling so well so he went to the docor and was diagnosed with cancer, 25 years as a welder breathing fumes and dust and god know what else he came down with cancer. He died late November of that year 5 months after being diagnosed. He died with his boots on and with a smile. His one last fling in life was to ride his Harley across this country and see life. And that is how I remember him flying down the road on his bike hooten and hoalerin.
)Enjoy the little pleasures that life brings.My favorite Family Story;
About 8 years ago I got a phone call from my Uncle Tony, he wanted to come to Florida and visit for his 71st birthday. I told him he was more than welcomed and to let me know his flight number and arrival time (assuming her was flying). Did not hear from him for a few day. Then one afternoon I heard a motorcycle pull up in the drive. It was my Uncle Tony on his last bike run. He had drove from NC to FL, to visit then was going to TX then CA then back to TX the Fl again then home. He was on the road for 7 months visiting relative and freinds. 3 weeks after his trip he was not feeling so well so he went to the docor and was diagnosed with cancer, 25 years as a welder breathing fumes and dust and god know what else he came down with cancer. He died late November of that year 5 months after being diagnosed. He died with his boots on and with a smile. His one last fling in life was to ride his Harley across this country and see life. And that is how I remember him flying down the road on his bike hooten and hoalerin.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2003
- Messages
- 293
Cyber, my other Grandfather went in a similar fashion, took a few months to decline but in his last days he was cheerful and very philosophical about the whole thing. He was a bit of a carpenter and I remember him talking about the tumour saying 'they will probably find a lump of lydney ply in there'.
Originally posted by StmmZaum
Depends how solvent I am, soon to be a fully fledged university student (just working out whether I am going to keep my Khuks in my dorm or at home, hmm...) and thus skint
OK, I'll get the drinks in. Leave the khuks at home. Trust me on that one.
Funnily enough I went to Queen Mary College in London. Are you staying in London or off to pastures new?
I'll drink to your Uncle Tony!
Maybe there's something in the name.
Anthony Hopkins, (surely you dont have to ask...), likes to go off in his car at times.
He mentioned in an interview about one time he checked into a motel. It was not long after Silence of the Lambs came out. Seems he got some amusement at asking for a room in the voice of a certain character.
Certainly left the lady on the reception desk a story she'll be telling her family for years to come.
Maybe there's something in the name.
Anthony Hopkins, (surely you dont have to ask...), likes to go off in his car at times.
He mentioned in an interview about one time he checked into a motel. It was not long after Silence of the Lambs came out. Seems he got some amusement at asking for a room in the voice of a certain character.
Certainly left the lady on the reception desk a story she'll be telling her family for years to come.
I see this is confirmed by other posters, but lets make it official; in times of hardship, beans, potatoes, and rice are the most pluck for buck. Catfood is too expensive.
There are a few missing years in my life. Many days out of these the decision was to eat or drink. Then the decision was to eat every few days or drink.
I always loved the Kristoferson line- 'put on my cleanest dirty shirt, (either followed or preceeded by the 'beer I had for breakfast tasted good, so I had another for desert.")
As for Waitresses who smile and mean it- there are these giants all around us, usually cheerfully serving others, as nurses or clerks, and while more important people pass through their sphere, many with more money and power, I know who the real jewels are.
Those are Souls, alright.
Wait and see them ahead of any line in "Divine Justice".
munk
There are a few missing years in my life. Many days out of these the decision was to eat or drink. Then the decision was to eat every few days or drink.
I always loved the Kristoferson line- 'put on my cleanest dirty shirt, (either followed or preceeded by the 'beer I had for breakfast tasted good, so I had another for desert.")
As for Waitresses who smile and mean it- there are these giants all around us, usually cheerfully serving others, as nurses or clerks, and while more important people pass through their sphere, many with more money and power, I know who the real jewels are.
Those are Souls, alright.
Wait and see them ahead of any line in "Divine Justice".
munk
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2001
- Messages
- 4,501
I had the same thought
This could be an interesting question on a chemistry test:The half life of Munkium (Mu-238) is 50, 000 years. How much of a 13 gram sample of Munkium will be left after 125, 000 years?
--Josh