I never had a desk. When I worked for the loony bin the Director had to throw away some perfectly good metal desks so he could make room for brand new ones. He personally told me when the desk would be sitting on the loading bay. He wanted me to write, and he gave me a Psycho Ward Desk. I'll tell that another time.
My Young Son got his first desk. A wooden desk. I don't know about you but to me a real writing desk where you sit with a world of stuff in front of you is pure magic. Captain of the Ship. I've always wanted one of the roller top desks with the ink wells and tiny boxes for letters, pens, paper clips, and maybe the pipe or flask of bourban the Squire kept hidden. This was the kind of furniture you could sail out to sea with. You'd survive a tornado by hunkering under its protective slabs of solid wood. And your brain just naturally goes up in IQ 25% just sitting there. If you do nothing else, move the volume of Kipling around some so activity is indicated when the Maid comes to clean.
No Maid. This thing was in a box about 5 feet long and 6 inches thick. And like all PARTICLE BOARD productions, it weighed twice as much as it had any right to. I've been assembling this for three days now. I finished just a little while ago. Particle board has come a long way. Everyone hated it, because it was heavy, weak, and was a wood substitute. They charged too much for it because it looked like wood, and nobody wanted it. So naturally they made more, and more, and they acheived their dreams, Citizens, let me tell you.
Most of the time assembling it was spent identifying parts. But once you had the parts in hand, they fit. I'm not kidding, even pre-drilled holes lined up right with the screws. Every cost saving, cheapskate measure possible is being used and improved upon. If plastic worked in lieu of metal I don't have to finish this sentence to tell you what they- You know the rails the drawer rides on actually hold the drawer together? Yup. This thing is a democracy, the equal sum of it's parts. Pull one away and the entire production falls.
At some point in construction the thing was on its back on the floor. The Instructions said: make sure you nail the cardboard backing to the desk before uprighting it; otherwise it could collapse.
A piece of the fake wood broke away just before the desk was done. I asked my son if he knew where the wood glue was. No. So I went upstairs and by a miracle found it. I put some of this very expensive and great wood glue on the small torn strip and pressed it to the particle board. The strip fell off. The surface finish was plastic, or enamil (sic), or some dang thing. I got a tube of Liquid Nails out; I wasn't dealing with wood. Worked fine. You have to know what you are dealing with and use the right tools. I needed synthetics.
This creation will fall apart with any real time, flood, heat, seepage; better not leave a donut too long on the roll-out computer board. I hope it is environmentally friendly, because it surely will disinigrate. The true throw away. And it is mass produced and it actually fits together. They can, and will, sell a million of these.
I've met the future and these things will land on top of that solid oak roll-top you always wanted and smother it, piled so high you can't see the sun.
munk
My Young Son got his first desk. A wooden desk. I don't know about you but to me a real writing desk where you sit with a world of stuff in front of you is pure magic. Captain of the Ship. I've always wanted one of the roller top desks with the ink wells and tiny boxes for letters, pens, paper clips, and maybe the pipe or flask of bourban the Squire kept hidden. This was the kind of furniture you could sail out to sea with. You'd survive a tornado by hunkering under its protective slabs of solid wood. And your brain just naturally goes up in IQ 25% just sitting there. If you do nothing else, move the volume of Kipling around some so activity is indicated when the Maid comes to clean.
No Maid. This thing was in a box about 5 feet long and 6 inches thick. And like all PARTICLE BOARD productions, it weighed twice as much as it had any right to. I've been assembling this for three days now. I finished just a little while ago. Particle board has come a long way. Everyone hated it, because it was heavy, weak, and was a wood substitute. They charged too much for it because it looked like wood, and nobody wanted it. So naturally they made more, and more, and they acheived their dreams, Citizens, let me tell you.
Most of the time assembling it was spent identifying parts. But once you had the parts in hand, they fit. I'm not kidding, even pre-drilled holes lined up right with the screws. Every cost saving, cheapskate measure possible is being used and improved upon. If plastic worked in lieu of metal I don't have to finish this sentence to tell you what they- You know the rails the drawer rides on actually hold the drawer together? Yup. This thing is a democracy, the equal sum of it's parts. Pull one away and the entire production falls.
At some point in construction the thing was on its back on the floor. The Instructions said: make sure you nail the cardboard backing to the desk before uprighting it; otherwise it could collapse.
A piece of the fake wood broke away just before the desk was done. I asked my son if he knew where the wood glue was. No. So I went upstairs and by a miracle found it. I put some of this very expensive and great wood glue on the small torn strip and pressed it to the particle board. The strip fell off. The surface finish was plastic, or enamil (sic), or some dang thing. I got a tube of Liquid Nails out; I wasn't dealing with wood. Worked fine. You have to know what you are dealing with and use the right tools. I needed synthetics.
This creation will fall apart with any real time, flood, heat, seepage; better not leave a donut too long on the roll-out computer board. I hope it is environmentally friendly, because it surely will disinigrate. The true throw away. And it is mass produced and it actually fits together. They can, and will, sell a million of these.
I've met the future and these things will land on top of that solid oak roll-top you always wanted and smother it, piled so high you can't see the sun.
munk
(ie Munk told me he lived for a time as a kid in my hometown in the Chemical Valley)
