A fresh start and living a simple life...

Another been there done that...well the divorce thing. I went through a very cheap divorce only to eventually go through a very expensive custody battle. I make a pretty good living but most of everything I made went to attorney fees, child support, etc. I am now remarried to a great woman, have 50/50 custody of my kids, but am still in a job where I feel trapped. Honestly, if it werent for the kids I would have quit my job and found something else that made me happy. Your already paying out a large portion why not enjoy what your doing. I only recently found a release! I started making knives. I have always wanted to do it, even made a grinder when I was previously married, but never really tried. I live a stressful life as most do. Work 60 hours a week, 4 kids,etc etc. I found that having something I could do that really inspired me helped a ton. It has refreshed me in so many ways just having a few hours a week to totally get lost in my passion...a good woman helps too;) Keep your head up and move on, it will only get better.
 
@JGON

You've received some good advice in this thread, so im not going to repeat what they've said. You need to look deep inside yourself and do what you feel is right. Remember though, not to make any important decisions while upset or in any other negative state of mind. Use you head and remember that there are always several paths one can take.

Good luck bro!
 
Ok, if I were single, I would get my CDL and become a truck driver and only take the long hauls. Sell my house and buy a camper and rent a spot at a camp ground. After a week of being by myself and seing the states. I would relax by camping every weekend. And the best part, i would be getting payed to travel, still have insurance and usually 401k. Sounds like a good idea to me..... Good luck, rob.
 
jgon-i agree with colorado-do it now!. you are young enough. the day will come this is no longer an option. the best of luck to you!! whatever you decide.
 
Really it depends.......

You are 28 so you still have plenty of time.

A good job is HARD to find so remember you COULD wind up NEEDING ANY job and wind up with one with less pay and less free time than you have now.

You mention debt, but then you mention cashing stuff in.

My suggestion would be to use your current job to get rid of all your debt. Then start looking at cheap rural property.

If your job is really good then if 5 or 6 years you might be able to get some land your could PAY OFF.

Once you own land and even if it is a one room cabin you have more freedom because you can work as much as you want assuming it's paid off.
 
Jgon, I really do not have any advice for ya? BUT if you do head out and want to make yourself a hand made knife.

Come on down and make a knife or two with me.

My Treat.

Pm me or give me a call if you do head out. If you have a camper I can put you up ( as I use to live full time in a RV for a few years). so I have the hooks ups for it.
We also have just a mile from town here a great camping and fishing area too.

Bryan
 
While I haven't been through a divorce, I can understand hard times. Before you make a decision, keep in mind that this is a "season" in your life. They come and they go. Take your time and pray hard about this decision, cause once made it'll be even harder to turn around again. Again, this is a season that your goin' through. Hang tough and pray hard. Take care.
 
You need a career that you love, whatever that might be. Read 48 Days to the Work you Love. Dang it, I wish I were 28 again! And start doing things for others, like Special Olympics or hanging with a WWII vet at the nursing home. Seriously. If you start thinking about others a little more, maybe your mind will get a different spin on how good you have it. And read some good stuff like Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace, Henry Cloud's Boundaries, and The Millionaire Next Door. Get yourself involved in a good church, where there are some total strangers who care about you. Just my friendly advice, brother.

And lose that dang avatar. It makes me pucker every time I see it. Get a nice puppy avatar or something. :thumbup:
 
Check out EarthBag homes and pool barn homes off grid living. I use to live the fast life and now I just want a "shack" a large garden and my time to live my life with my family
 
powernoodle said:
And lose that dang avatar. It makes me pucker every time I see it. Get a nice puppy avatar or something. :thumbup:
Click to expand...

I agree! It freaks me out.

JGon, Get your CDL and drive long haul for a year. You'll make a few hundred here and a few hundred there, you'll see the country and meet many characters, sleep in a shelter every night and eat wild barely-edibles (truck-stop slop). It'll get it out of your system.
 
The best thing I ever did was to quit my full-time teaching job in NYC. I bought a van and spent six months going across the Trans-Canada Highway from Toronto to Pacific Rim National Park, spending two months hiking and camping in the Canadian Rockies.

It totally changed everything about my life, including attitudes, beliefs, and ways of being, and I have never once looked back in regret.

Go for it! You only get one go-round -- make it a good one.
 
I will be 65 years old in a week. Most of my life is behind me. I am generally satisfied with how things turned out, mostly because I got lucky and married the right woman the first time, 40 years ago.

You are 28, but you are going to be amazed at how soon you will be 65 also. So when you are having a retrospective moment 37 years from now, are you going to regret that, in 2011 you did not follow your heart and do what you really wanted to do? If you have no kids, go for it. If you have kids, your responsibilities involving them should
outweigh personal desires.

Yeah, life is going to change. You may meet someone else, find the adventure is not what you expected it to be, or just eventually want to go do something else. So what? Life is all about change. It is inevitable no matter what path you take. When the change comes, you will deal with it. Everyone else does.
 
You could choose to live like that with where you are now. It's a mind set, and a minor adjustment to your priorities, and you can be living simpler.

Divorces tend to trigger reflection. Be cautious of radical changes that result from life troubles.

If this really appeals to you, take it in baby steps. turn off the TV, remove material items, simplify your life and see if you like it that way. Just because the lawyers the woman, and the courts have your head spinning doesn't mean you need to spin with it. Now i will go and spend 15 minutes pondering my own advice.
 
The wisdom I've encountered on BF to this point is truly mind boggling. You all have some great perspectives on things...

Visiting my grandfather recently did put a lot of things in perspective. He had a hard life, but even when he thought he might die he had no regrets and looked back on his life with a smile. I too have had some challenging circumstances, but I always make the best of my situation, always see the positives, and in general, you won't encounter too many people that have a better outlook on things than myself. I am not disgruntled, and I am not going to make any rash decisions. That is part of the reason that I am so thankful for all the feedback that I've received here. If I do anything, I want to think it through first and do it intelligently.

Someone said it well. I don't want to end up being 65 and look back at my crossroads in 2011 and regret not trusting my gut and going for it.

Pros and cons...

If I continue on, I know what to expect. I will work 55 hours a week or so for the remainder of my natural life, most likely get a house in Southeastern WI with the woman I am currently seeing, be the financial provider for her and the family that will come after she bangs out a couple of my kids, and I will grow old without ever truly experiencing many of the things I would love to explore in the world.

If I just go, I have no idea what's in store. I don't know where I'll go, what I'll encounter, how long I'll be gone, or what condition I'll be in when I come back... if at all! I have no idea if I will be able to maintain a lifestyle that keeps me with minimal possessions while I am constantly on the move, seeing and experiencing the many amazing things out there. It is completely unknown. Therein lies the heart of the decision.

True financial wealth is complete freedom to do whatever you want. Without true wealth, everything is uncertain.

One is the smart and conservative decision. The other is a gamble, and one that will most likely NOT lead to any sort of financial security down the road. It's a risk, but all of the world's most amazing people take them, and all of the best stories come from people who took a chance.

I am wrestling with this in my head endlessly. Your words have been very helpful.

Jordan
 
What about BABY STEPS.
How about, you move out of your house and into an Motor Home, something a few years old, but still functional. Then, you get to lose the couch and big screen, but still have a roof over your head. This would help you simplify gear, most of your gear could pull double duty at home to!
Rent a spot near your work, or hell, get a job that doesnt stress you out. Now you live in a motor home, with little out of pocket. You can MOVE with the turn of a key.
How is your health, if its good, get a summer job, and then take the winter off, or vice-versa.
You are free to make small steps towards a simple life style...do it.
Maybe buy a small lot out of the way, plant a garden...live in a hut or cabin, you can still have a Jeep and a job, and live simple. Save some money up...live.

Oh yeah, EDIT:
Dude ...go for it. YOu only live once. Jobs come and go, as do most people you know. There is a BUNCH of GOOD friends out there you havnt even met yet.
 
Ur 28 and grieving yes grieving u just went through a divorce the rule of thumb is one year. Yourmnot supposed to make any important decisions Re get involved in a new relationship dorca year. This is because ur grieving and we don't think straight when were in the grieving process. Ur still young, follow the advice of powernoddle formthe next year and just chill out and catch ur head, guarantee u in a year ur going to c all this very differently.
 
How much time did you take to make the decision to get married? There are many Americans working at jobs that do not make them happy all the time. And, there are more people then you can imagine that use every penny they earn to make it. Many are lucky enough to stick with it because we all know responsibility is challenging; but they made it out of the financial hole they we in. It took me 10 years after my divorce to get back to a healthy financial base, meaning I had discretionary funds to pursue my hobbies and such.

Don't know what's right or wrong for you and your situation, nor do I know your work situation. I do know their are a lot of people out there looking for work and I would bet that at least a few of them walked away from a job they didn't like. Take your time, prove to your self that you can make it alone and where your at and then maybe decide to move on with some kind of a plan.

It is easy to cash out, but how long did it take you to get to where your currently are? Time is a wonderful thing when your young, but it is always ticking away never to be rewound again. When you get older, you'll find out that time was never friendly and every hour waisted, was truly waisted.

Use a sagely approach, include all factors into your decision, not an emotional approach and more then likely you will make the right decision for yourself. Good luck....
 
I know a guy who works 9 months out of the year and takes the 3 summer months off. He busts his ass in construction for most of the year, earns some good money, and saves saves saves. Never wastes money, never allows himself to get tied down. By the time summer rolls around he has more than enough money in the bank to live and do whatever he likes each day.

He just quit his job a couple weeks ago, and is currently living in the woods in a tent somewhere on the southwestern coast of BC. He refused to tell me where he's squatting before he left. He told me "come out this way and ask about 'that guy' around the popular rock climbing areas; you'll find me eventually."

He has no cellphone, no wife, no kids, no house. No bills or responsibilities. He's the happiest person I know.

Who says painting that white picket fence with the wife at your side and paying a mortgage for 30 years is the way to live?

I'm with ya, JGON. Ain't nothin' to it but to do it.
 
I agree with those who recommended that you take your time with this. This isn't physics - a major event in your life doesn't always require an equally major reaction - but sometimes it can seem like the right thing to do. Maybe it is, I don't know.

I would encourage you to look at your crisis as not just one, but many decisions.
1. Quitting your job - that's a heavy one with serious potential consequences.
2. Travel - Is this all or nothing? If you're looking to become truly nomadic, I'd definitely take some extra time to consider the logistics of it. However, a 3-month bike ride across New Zealand would be truly amazing!
3. Living situation/lifestyle - If you're unhappy with where your money is going, you can easily scale that stuff back - cheaper apartment or car, etc. Take the money you save and tuck it away - it could help later when you decide on #1 and #2.

I hope you get things worked out. Sorry to hear about your divorce.
 
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