Patrice, So sorry to hear of your loss, my thoughts and those of my family are with you.
My parents were divorced when I was very young. I never met my father untill I was 16. He suffers from Bi Polar disorder and refuses to take medication for it. Our relationship was quite strained. when I turned 18 I moved out with a couple buddys. within a week he had moved away in the middle of the night not telling anyone where he was going. I havnt heard from him in over 14 yrs now. Cherish your good memories with your dad, I wish I had more of my own. I do have my dads old uncle henry folding knife. untill I started making my own knives it was my standby it still accompanys me into the field every year. my way of bringing him out with me even tho I dont now where he is.