A little sitrep

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Karda said:
I'm stubborn for sure. But I've also given up before......
In truth I'm a big old wrinkly baby that doesn't like being poked, prodded, made to take pharm and all that.
It boiled down to do I want to continue to suffer in this manner, or do I want to listen to reason and try to be well again.
I'm not doing myself, nor anyone else any good by being too stubborn to try.
If your physician doesn't listen or isn't effective for you. Try another. Doctors are a dime a dozen.... A good doctor is a precious resource finer than gold.
Medicine still isn't an exact science. Due to physiological differences treatments must differ. Options must be tried until one works. Sometimes it's easy. More often than not, though, it's not so.
I also found something today from his holiness. I wish I'd found it long ago.

dalai-lama-quote.jpg
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Esav Benyamin said:
“I think that, as life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action of his time at peril of being judged not to have lived.”

― Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
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I would get quite philisophical when it just hurts to the point that you want to just be so still your heart beats in your ears. And then words of friends and mentors and spiritual people pierce the fog and you draw comfort from those words.
"Life gets in the way of living"
"You have touched so many lives"
"There are others who have it so much worse"
"You have a wonderful life surrounded by people that love you"
"Get off your rear and let the cat in before you pass out from the Vicadin"
 
whimpering softly

softly the old wolf whimpers as he dreams
vaguely remembering hunting long ago
racing over hillsides, splashing through the streams
running in the rain, plunging into snow

seizing prey in triumph as he hears their screams
never fighting nature, going with the flow

life no longer what it was, nothing left but dreams.

-- EB
 
Esav Benyamin said:
whimpering softly

softly the old wolf whimpers as he dreams
vaguely remembering hunting long ago
racing over hillsides, splashing through the streams
running in the rain, plunging into snow

seizing prey in triumph as he hears their screams
never fighting nature, going with the flow

life no longer what it was, nothing left but dreams.

-- EB
Click to expand...

That's awesome, my friend!
But It made me feel very old.
You need to write a book of this poetry you do.
 
Sunday, December 31, 2006

poem for the end

end of a season
end of a year
end of a life
nothing to fear

where do we go
what do you care
what do you know
until you're there

begin again or end it all
we'll find out when the shadows fall

Monday, January 01, 2007

again

spinning through the void
the days that we've enjoyed
cycle round again

once more each name and number
interrupts our slumber
clicking off each midnight just like when

spinning through the void
the days that we've enjoyed
cycle round again

-- EB
 
EB,
Those just sort of "cycle round" in my brain. They hit a particular chord that just seems to stay with me.
 
Well....a little update...
Finally, the doctor figured it was time to get a good look at things, since I don't seem to be improving much.
Pain is being managed, but I had to quit physical therapy because it was proving to be too much in addition to a bit of a burden financially.

Day before yesterday I went to the hospital for a follow up check to make sure my eye was healed from getting a tiny epoxy chip in it.
Since I was already going to be there the doctor prescribed that I get some MRI imaging done on my back problem.
It appears that in addition to the arthritis I have a disk/discs impinging my spinal chord and creating constriction. I have a consult scheduled with the neurology dept. in early October to get a clear picture of what is going on and what to do about it.

The other problem is.... on holloween day, the wife is having surgery for impingement, bone spur and a torn tendon in her shoulder that if left untreated could paralyze it. This means I'm going to have to do any lifting, care for the animals and do most everything she takes care of for 4 to 12 weeks while she heals.
needless to say, I can't have anything major done at least until she is healed, but my own pain has increased lately and I think I'm starting to show symptoms in my right hand that started in my left.

I'm just trying to hang in there until we can get these issues resolved.
 
Hang in there Karda! I'd come help lift some stuff if it wasn't for the thousand or so miles between us!
 
Hey man take care of yourself and I hope you get better. I've only been around for like two months but I've seen nothing but good from you. Best wishes and hope it all turns out for the best.
 
I feel for you my friend, my wife's going in for surgery on her neck in 2 1/2 weeks, till then we're, (I'm) taking care of her cats and her house and taking my wife to visit her. Me, I'm waiting to have the doc look at the shoulder they repaired on me in February because in June I think I tie the rotator cuff on the same shoulder.

I'll be keeping you and your wife in my thoughts and prayers my friend, it's a bitch getting old but I'll take it considering the alternative to getting old is dying young.

Keep the peace and keep the faith. :)
 
Sounds like you know what to do Karda! Hang in there man. Smoke up for you and your wifes recovery.
 
Sorry to hear it is still wearing on you Karda. I hope they are finally figuring out a plan that will help you get it under control. Even managed pain continues to wear you down. Been dealing with it for 6yrs myself with some major pain meds. They cause their own unique problems. I hope everything goes smoothly for your wife's surgery and that during her recovery they can get a plan together and get things fixed for you once she is recovered.

T. Erdelyi, hope things go well for your family too.

Smoke and prayers from Pacific Northwest for both of you and your families.
 
Best wishes.

I HATE things I can't hammer back into place!

Hope the road gets smoother.



AND EB? Great wolf slumber.
 
very sorry to hear about your troubles. Its sucks getting old... I feel ya. I hope everything works out for you. Best wishes bud
 
Hang in there Karda, I hope all goes well with your wife. Man if I lived closer to you I would be over helping you any way I could man. Smoke up from the south.
 
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