Advice? Selling it all. She’s leaving me after 17.5 yrs together.

Sorry to hear about your situation! You aren't the first and won't be the last! Had a buddy go through it recently after 30 years of marriage! Have you tried any of the Florida gun forums? Might be easier to get rid of the guns in a face to face sale! No FFL and no paperwork if you choose! What part (north/central/south) of Florida you in?
 
At first it’s horrible. But the good news is, every day after that it gets a tiny bit better than the day before. Keep your integrity and your personal pride, don’t do something stupid, and you’ll survive it to become a better man. I sure did.

I found it useful to evaluate what was useful. Prior skills, useful. Anger, not useful. Friends and family with understanding and desire to help, useful. Mentally replaying arguments and searching for where it went wrong, not useful. Retain what’s useful and let the rest go.

Eventually, the wounds have healed. I enjoy and appreciate life more now than I ever did before. No regrets.

Good times in your future. Best of luck to you.

Parker
 
Shappy said:
Sorry to hear about your situation! You aren't the first and won't be the last! Had a buddy go through it recently after 30 years of marriage! Have you tried any of the Florida gun forums? Might be easier to get rid of the guns in a face to face sale! No FFL and no paperwork if you choose! What part (north/central/south) of Florida you in?
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Central. That’s a good idea. I’ll look into them. Thanks for the thoughts. I’m taking my sales slowly.
 
I have been divorced twice. First ex said she didn’t love me anymore. She had a Sancho, we had no kids and just a house. The house was under water so I let her off the loan and actually did really well later. Second divorce was hell on earth. I threatened to divorce because of her drug use and the lack of ability to get the kids to school while I worked, she didn’t work. She ended filing and beat me to the punch. I lost a great deal in the situation. Through the fights and custody battles I eventually got 100% custody of my boys. Both divorces took a toll, but what I only really lost is sorrow. Later, I met a great woman, and we raised hers and mine and even a foster kid. Now we help her father in law and sister in law as well. We recently moved to central Florida. There can be plenty of life after divorce. Once you realize living with a Debbie Downer, or even a Beth Amphetamine, (I did both) is exhausting and counter productive to peace, prosperity and happiness. If you want someone to blow off steam or commiserate with send me a PM. I have been through it twice, and really, yeah it sucked both times, but honestly, I thank God it did, both times. I never understood how lonely and miserable I was being married to the wrong women. Get into your own place and start doing the things that bring you joy and peace and you may wonder why you waited so long to make the move.
 
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Tugged at the Heart to read your first post, and subsequent...
Been There myself, more than once, as some have also said here.
There is No pain quite like it.

Advice, you ask?
I don't give out much advice anymore; unless someone asks.
You Did.
Yeah, I got some for ya.

Don't Be Someone Other Than Who YOU Are...

Which translates as: Don't Sell All your "Knives, guns, photography, scuba, hiking, camping," Gear:
Those were Some of the Very Things that Shaped You and Made You Who You Are...
She's Taking Away Part of Your Very Heart, ...With Her;
Don't Let Her Rob You of More than that. That's Plenty 'Enuf'...

You'll Need some of those things, to Rediscover Who You Are again, "The YOU, Apart From:" your wife.
Yeah, you think you know;
But 2 Things about that:
1, You Grew Together for those most recent 17.5 YEARS of what you remember of your life;
and
2, You're thinking in a differing mindset Now, in the Trauma of LOSS, of your bosom woman, than you Will Then: When you regain your footing, and Stand on your Own. Then, you'll have More Regret to have LOSS of those very things that gave YOU some Joy in this Life, Apart From Any Other Person around You: Since you enjoyed photography, enjoyed scuba & hiking & camping; you're HERE on this Forum, so you enjoy knives & guns; then continue to ENJOY those things, for Who You Are, Not for what You only were when you were with your now-estranged wife...
I did what You did, Or, are now doing. Then I had but REGRET as a companion: And That Is NEVER a Good Thing... Yeah, you may need to downsize; I did, too; Many times over, because "the first cut" wasn't enough. But Retain Some of the BEST Things, to help Buoy You Up, for the Days ahead. Otherwise, it's like shooting Yourself in the Foot... And That is NO Way to Walk Onward...
And You Must Walk Onward. . .

Jordan Peterson's First Rule of Living: Stand Up Straight.
Be Who You Are.
Nobody Else Can Be Who You Are, and You can't be Anyone Else. Being Everyone Else is Already Taken.
Don't give up that very part of You that must help move past this Loss!
Odd Analogy perhaps, for it intimates "a perception of weakness" -- Don't even think about what it looks like to others -- But: Don't Lose by Choice the Crutches You Need to Learn How to Walk Alone Again...

With This Community; You aren't really alone.
But you will need to Relearn How to Walk Alone in your Life.
The More Regret you Retain; the More "What If I Had Done This Instead...?" you Spend Time on, is Time You will Never have Back. Face Forward, Embrace Your Future. Use Your Crutches; Learn To Walk Again... The Crutches will fall away when they are not needed in Due Time.

Find Your Peace, and Bring it Within. That may require a hike into the woods, a camp set-up with your Blades, protected by a bang-bang; and a Really Nice Photo or Ten of What Moves You "Out There," in the Wild, in God's Creation, that perhaps only Your Eyes Perceive in those moments. (And Your Camera.) Spend Time in that Creation, with Your Creator, in that Place where No One Intrudes, and No One can take away. There, is Peace; and Rebuilding of Your Soul.
Because right now, part of it has been scraped away: Uncoupled...
Never be bashful about Praying. There is One Who Hears; One Who Never Leaves You, Nor Forsakes You, Come Hell or High Water. Even if your bosom darling has left. Your Life is Not Defined By Anyone Else, or their faithfulness, or their companionship, their fickle favor or disfavor... What Defines You isn't anyone else.

There is probably a better Ending or Punchline or Takeaway to all this, but I cannot discern what that is; so for now: Breathe Deeply, rinse, repeat; and think about those places & items that give You some Peace & Joy in this Life, and don't let the current circumstances take away such Joys. You're Worth More than that.





 
I'm in South Florida. If you need a drinking buddy for an evening, hit me up. I'm divorced also, but remarried now.
 
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