Am I being too hard on my wife?

It's things like this that make me SOOO glad I'm not married! I don't want to have to keep some sort of schedule after work. Sometimes things come up. Sometimes you just don't know. Why do you need to know where someone else is every minute of every day? That would drive me insane. If you had something planned, fine; she should stick to that of course. As for the rest of your lives, loosen up a bit or you will be shortening yours. :p

~ashes
 
Ashes said:
It's things like this that make me SOOO glad I'm not married! I don't want to have to keep some sort of schedule after work. Sometimes things come up. Sometimes you just don't know. Why do you need to know where someone else is every minute of every day?
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I thought I made it clear that it didn't matter to me what time she actually got home, nor do I make a habit of making sure I know where my wife every minute of the day......
But when I talk to her around 7:00, which is usually close to the time she leaves, AND I know that she'll come home anyway, AND I just happen to ask her what time she'll be home, please just give me a reasonable guess, I want an answer. I am more forthcoming to her than what I expect of her. and that is the truth. Please quit reading too much into this. PLEASE. We're getting along really well. Really.
 
Walking Man said:
I thought I made it clear that it didn't matter to me what time she actually got home, nor do I make a habit of making sure I know where my wife every minute of the day......
But when I talk to her around 7:00, which is usually close to the time she leaves, AND I know that she'll come home anyway, AND I just happen to ask her what time she'll be home, please just give me a reasonable guess, I want an answer. I am more forthcoming to her than what I expect of her. and that is the truth. Please quit reading too much into this. PLEASE. We're getting along really well. Really.
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Sorry! I didn't mean to make an issue of it! I guess when you are used to a routine, it would kind of throw you off.

But still, if she says she doesn't know, and you think she SHOULD know, and all the other stuff you said... well, it sounds like your guess was as good as hers, so what was the problem? I guess I just don't really get why this part is such a big deal. It sounds like you wanted her to give you a guess, which would probably match any guess you could have made, but you just wanted for her to say it or something. That sounds manipulative... I would probably feel cornered and try to give myself some leeway too.

~ashes
 
Ashes, honey, there is so much going on in this world, between crime and idiot quitting time traffic jerks, perhaps a disability, it is very nice to know somebody cares that much about you to ask. That's love.
 
Cindy Denning said:
Ashes, honey, there is so much going on in this world, between crime and idiot quitting time traffic jerks, perhaps a disability, it is very nice to know somebody cares that much about you to ask. That's love.
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Please don't call me "honey" when you are talking down to me, Cindy. You should know better. :p

Of course it's nice that somebody cares, but it isn't so nice that somebody freaks out to the point that they are so frustrated that they make a post about it on here as if it were such a big deal.

~ashes
 
Ashes said:
But still, if she says she doesn't know, and you think she SHOULD know, and all the other stuff you said... well, it sounds like your guess was as good as hers, so what was the problem? I guess I just don't really get why this part is such a big deal. It sounds like you wanted her to give you a guess, which would probably match any guess you could have made, but you just wanted for her to say it or something. That sounds manipulative...
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Manipulative? What? ??????????????
I don't know, for me, it's just trying to get into a rhythm, my wife is still pretty new at this job, and I like to have some kind of idea of when she's going to be home so I can plan my schedule? ie. are we going to have dinner together tonight? Should I let the dog out? or should I just go bed because it'll be way too late until she gets home. That's just the way it is, so just give me any kind of an answer, cause she's my friend, and she knows my life revolves around her (and hers around mine.) And that's really what it is all about, (I think) getting an acknowledgement because our lives are intertwined and to not give me answer means that she's not acknowledging that fact, which is a little hurtful. Okay, does that make sense?
Your best guess will be fine. Thank ya. So yes, it's about recognizing the closeness that we have together, honey. :p
And there you go, reading too much into this again. Freaking out. Nah. Just annoyed.
.
And Ashes, sooner or later, you're just going to have to "let a love in your heart" and answer the questions he asks, even though it feels like you're being tied down. People whose spirits demand to be free don't do well in relationships. "ie Freebird"
 
Walking Man said:
Manipulative? What? ??????????????
I don't know, for me, it's just trying to get into a rhythm, my wife is still pretty new at this job, and I like to have some kind of idea of when she's going to be home so I can plan my schedule? ie. are we going to have dinner together tonight? Should I let the dog out? or should I just go bed because it'll be way too late until she gets home. That's just the way it is, so just give me any kind of an answer, cause she's my friend, and she knows my life revolves around her (and hers around mine.) And that's really what it is all about, (I think) getting an acknowledgement because our lives are intertwined and to not give me answer means that she's not acknowledging that fact, which is a little hurtful. Okay, does that make sense?
Your best guess will be fine. Thank ya. So yes, it's about recognizing the closeness that we have together, honey. :p
And there you go, reading too much into this again. Freaking out. Nah. Just annoyed.

And Ashes, sooner or later, you're just going to have to "let a love in your heart" and answer the questions he asks, even though it feels like you're being tied down. People whose spirits demand to be free don't do well in relationships. "ie Freebird"
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Closeness is great. It's when your life "revolves around" someone else that it seems a little neurotic.

Stop calling me HONEY just because I'm not married! I could be married if I wanted to be, but I don't. Maybe someday; maybe never. I am in love with my boyfriend, but we don't need some legal binding thing that makes us glued to each other. I understand that things are different for most people, but I think that if you trust each other and just understand the "rules" you've set up with each other, well, you can make anything work.

That said, maybe you simply need to discuss this idea with your wife? Set some kind of mutual "ground rules" like that you will call each other if you are planning on being more than an hour late coming home or something. I couldn't imagine living with someone without something like that; I'm sure I'd worry too if I were left in the dark and didn't know what was going on. All in all, I don't understand why people who claim to be "in love" can't discuss such simple things with each other.

~ashes
 
Ashes said:
Stop calling me HONEY just because I'm not married!
[I was just joking since you asked Cindy specifically not too call you that, I'm sorry if I offended you]

That said, maybe you simply need to discuss this idea with your wife? Set some kind of mutual "ground rules" like that you will call each other if you are planning on being more than an hour late coming home or something. I couldn't imagine living with someone without something like that; I'm sure I'd worry too if I were left in the dark and didn't know what was going on. All in all, I don't understand why people who claim to be "in love" can't discuss such simple things with each other.
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As I've said all is fine and well. It seems to me as though you're trying to paint marriage as an awfully black picture, and that's your choice, but right now we're getting along really well, and I'd like to leave it at that.
 
Walking Man said:
As I've said all is fine and well. It seems to me as though you're trying to paint marriage as an awfully black picture, and that's your choice, but right now we're getting along really well, and I'd like to leave it at that.
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Sorry. Not my intention at all. Why did you post this in the first place if you are going to get so defensive at other people's opinions?

~ashes
 
Ashes said:
Sorry. Not my intention at all. Why did you post this in the first place if you are going to get so defensive at other people's opinions?
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It wasn't intended that way, I just want to let this thread have a nice, quiet, peaceful death.
 
Between the nutty drivers in Austin and the disappearances recently, I get really worried when my wife isn't home after 8. She has only not called once, and come to find out, it was because she was getting my birthday gift.

There was some guy on this board (I think it was this board) a few years ago who was bragging that he always knew where his woman was at all times. If she didn't report her changes of location, he would scream at her and hit her when she got home.
 
Esav Benyamin said:
Women have a genetic aversion to being on time, knowing what time it is, or caring how long it takes. With luck, you may find one with enough time sense to get dinner on the table at a decent hour.
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And don't try asking "what's for dinner?" either, if you don't want FOOD as an answer. :)
 
Walk carefully, Walking Man. It is a narrow line and if you cross it too far she may feel smothered and then there will surely be trouble. My advice is to keep a loose rein, if any at all. Oh, and if any of you want to call me "honey", it's OK. (except Ashes) :)
 
Mellow Chaos said:
There was some guy on this board (I think it was this board) a few years ago who was bragging that he always knew where his woman was at all times. If she didn't report her changes of location, he would scream at her and hit her when she got home.
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Sounds like a great relationship destined for a long and happy future.
:rolleyes:
 
Thomason said:
Walk carefully, Walking Man. It is a narrow line and if you cross it too far she may feel smothered and then there will surely be trouble. My advice is to keep a loose rein, if any at all. Oh, and if any of you want to call me "honey", it's OK. (except Ashes) :)
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There is no way in this world I am going to call you the above word in bold :p Or Thomason :D
 
w12_drphil.jpg
Maybe this guy can help!!! Oh, Dr. Phil.... :D :D :D Ashes, I'm calling "The Nanny" show on you. :p
 
Cindy Denning said:
Ashes, I'm calling "The Nanny" show on you. :p
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What does that mean?! I'll call "What Not to Wear" and have them track your ass down! :p

~ashes
 
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