Ashokan challenge for dolts

Matthew Gregory

Matthew Gregory

Chief Executive in charge of Entertainment
Joined
Jan 12, 2005
Messages
6,690
Aight kids, I've been pondering a few things of late...

1- I have no time to make a sword.
2- I know there's lots of folks that are in the same shape as I am regarding #1.
3- I want the challenge to remain kind of goofy, in the original spirit of the challenge.
4- I want something that can be made by any and all, with no fear or rejection because they're not making a museum piece.
5- Last year's challenge sucked, as there was nowhere near enough time to complete anything, as we sprung it on ya a month before the gig happened. That being said, the guys that did do stuff (Yours truly excluded) did some awesome stuff - it's just that there were only about 6 of us.

Therefore, in the original spirit of the Unsanctioned, Unsolicited, Universally Ridiculous Ashokan Challenge Of Death (UUURACOD) we'll be running a challenge in parallel with the serious guys doing swords this year.

YEP! You guessed it! This year's challenge will be....

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KIRIDASHI!!!!


Here's the challenge losers like me were waiting for! Make a kiridashi and win nothing! Not even dignity or respect from your peers!

DO IT ANYWAY!

Here's the deal:
1- Make a kiridashi.
2- Do it any way you want to - I don't care!
3- Forge it. Stock removal. Telekinesis - I don't care!
4- Use any material you want. Damascus, CruForgeV, 5160, 5160H, 52100, 1084, 1095, W1, W2, W3 (WTF?), M2, G10, kydex, leather, latex - I don't care!
5- Challenge is open to any breathing being (contestant must prove ability to breathe at time of contest). I'm kidding! You don't need to breathe to compete!
6- There's no competition! It's going to be about fun! Besides, mine will be better than Mace's anyway, and everyone knows it.
7- Making a kiridashi will not preclude you from any of the normal hazing or cruelty that occurs at Ashokan.
8- Sam Salvati has to finish one! He can't start it there!
9- Kevin Cashen is expressly forbidden from doing ANY form of judging during the contest. He's required to examine each contestant's entry and politely nod in appreciation and say "Nice one." in a kind of simpering, pandering tone like he thinks all kiridashis are stupid.
10- There's no competition! It's going to be about fun!

...wait a minute, I said that already...

I DON'T CARE!

MADNESS!


(If you've read this far, you're certifiable. Please send me a PM or email with your name and address so I can avoid you.)


Gentleman, start yer engines!
 
Last edited:
ElectricZombie said:
What is the time frame for the competition?
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What's good for ya? Some time before Ashokan is over would be all right. Remember to follow all of the rules to the letter, or you'll be disqualified and have to sleep in the Sleep Apnea area of the bunkhouse.

I'm kidding!

Do what you want - I don't care!

Just make it fun, man.
 
Wow, now I wish I was coming to Ashokan. I can actually make a kiridashi all by myself.

Um, is Play-doh an acceptable material? I've gotten really good at forging it.
 
bluejaunte said:
Um, is Play-doh an acceptable material?
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Only if it is properly...um, played, I guess.

How the hell should I know? Do what you feel, man!

ADDENDUM TO THE RULES:

First person to show up with a Play-Doh kiridashi gets nothing! Absolutely nothing!

Everyone, please feel free to offer suggestions - just expect them to be tossed aside.

I'm kidding!

Do what you want - I don't care!

make

it

fun!
 
Sounds good to me. I'm in!:D I'm gonna make mine out of WTF.....or maybe FTW..............hmmmmm;) Gotta go dig in the steel pile.
Mace

P.S. Matt I PMed you my address....don't want to break any rules.:p
 
i'm going to make mine out of..... no wait i think this is the only year i'm not going to show up with a handful of kiridashis
 
I don't know if I could finish something that small! I have not worked on anything under 2 feet for months, not sure I still now how :D
 
Sam Salvati said:
not sure I still now how :D
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None of us are sure if you have ever started and finished anything, ya bum! That's why I included rule #8 in the Indispensable Law Guide of Ashokan Kiridashi Midnight Tactical NeoTribal 5-Axis Extreme Challenge of Death.

You've also been charged with the requirement of getting me a few chunks of 4150 or some such stock, so get busy!

...if I can think of any more rules for you, Sam, I'll keep you advised.:D
 
Matthew Gregory said:
None of us are sure if you have ever started and finished anything, ya bum! That's why I included rule #8 in the Indispensable Law Guide of Ashokan Kiridashi Midnight Tactical NeoTribal 5-Axis Extreme Challenge of Death.

You've also been charged with the requirement of getting me a few chunks of 4150 or some such stock, so get busy!

...if I can think of any more rules for you, Sam, I'll keep you advised.:D
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Excellent :D

I have one rule for you though, no more of your "rubber friends" please, that was embarrassing enough last year finding one tied to my bumper.
 
Sam Salvati said:
Excellent :D

I have one rule for you though, no more of your "rubber friends" please, that was embarrassing enough last year finding one tied to my bumper.
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Technically, you didn't find that, Sam... the owner of Ashokan found it, if I remember correctly.

...and for bringing that up again, you will now be faced with yet ANOTHER rule:

11- Sam Salvati's kiridashi must be brought to a minimum 1500 grit finish - OR a machine satin finish which has to be approved my Mike Spangler. If the finish standards are not met, Sam must eat half a dozen raw clams with the hot sauce of MY choice.


Holy cow, am I already enjoying the hell out of this year's challenge!:D
 
Do we have to attend Ashokan, or can we just make one and post it for kicks and giggles?
 
James_Terrio said:
I'm a dolt but I don't know what a kiridashi is... am I qualified?!? :confused:
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Only you can discern whether or not you're a dolt, however a kiridashi is a small blade that was traditionally used for marking wood and other utilitarian purposes that has since been bastardized by some of us into a neo-tactical implement of destruction. I use one to cut open boxes and mail and pick my teeth, but I'm a dolt.
Mike Spangler specializes in turning any piece of scrap steel into some godawful kiridashi-like tool which he seems to think are nifty.
Many smiths such as Rick Barrett make traditional as well as highly stylized versions.
Mine are pathetic, but they bring me joy, and that's all that matters.

A quick search on BF should turn up a bunch.
 
rule number whatever the heck we're on: dave sylvester cannot make a kiridashi out of
3"X3/8" barstock and make fun of me because i can't pick it up.

rule number whatever number comes next: if anyone can make a beta titanium, serrated, striderized, tungsten dlc coated, tritium insert sporting,silver twill G10 handled, super anti ergonomic, zombie slaying, self defense, kiridashi with a carbon fiber patterned concealex sheath, with jump rings, picatinny rail mounts, wire snippers, and a screwdriver tip. you are automatically the winner of the challenge and will be able to move on to the sudden death round (aka the infamous sacred ritual of adjudication on the wiggly bridge of doom and despair) against the reigning champion thumb wrestler Matt "my sandalwood pre shave oil doesn't make me gay" Gregory

and if you win you're crowned the official ashokan champion. sam has your scepter tied to his truck
 
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