Best advice you've ever gotten, or given.

There's one that I made up myself for my wife. It is helpful for many women that I have met. Briefly it's that "Jerks identify themselves (and you should ignore what jerks say)". My wife and many women that I have known respond to abuse by asking themselves, "What did I do wrong to cause this person to get so angry (or to get this person to treat me this way)?" Often times she hasn't done anything exceptional and this person has just gone off on her or exhibits some other weird reaction. I explain that the offender is just a jerk and behaves obnoxiously because he's a jerk. There is nothing you could have done to get a reasonable person to behave in that outrageous manner. You couldn't possibly be that bad. This is just another case of a jerk identifying himself so that you know to ignore his opinions and behaviors.

I invented the description, "he's just a jerk announcing himself" one time when a guy scared my wife off the road by yelling at her with a bullhorn that he had mounted on the roof of his car. She asked me what maneuver she might have pulled with her car to make the guy so mad? I explained that nothing she could have done would have made an ordinary guy mount a loud speaker on the roof of his car (particularly in advance of actually meeting him). This guy is a jerk with a loudspeaker so that everybody can clearly point him out as a nut. He needs that loudspeaker so that he can announce to the world that he is a jerk.

On a more serious note I've met broken-hearted people who have an underlying question in their souls of "What could I have done to make my parents not love me?" My answer is that it's not about you. They were just jerks. There is virtually nothing that an ordinary child can do to make a normal parent not love them. They were just jerks and this was the loudest way in the world that they could scream out "I am an asshole". Given their selfproclamation through their outlandish behavior you don't have to look for explanations for why you are "unlovable". Your parents were defective jerks and had to announce it. You just have to learn to ignore/avoid them and ignore/avoid other jerks when they announce themselves through abusive behavior. Above all else avoid trying to placate jerks, it is just a trap.
 
"Money is a universal passport to everywhere except Heaven, and a certain provider for everything except happiness"
 
Jeff Clark said:
On a more serious note I've met broken-hearted people who have an underlying question in their souls of "What could I have done to make my parents not love me?" My answer is that it's not about you. They were just jerks. There is virtually nothing that an ordinary child can do to make a normal parent not love them. They were just jerks and this was the loudest way in the world that they could scream out "I am an asshole". Given their selfproclamation through their outlandish behavior you don't have to look for explanations for why you are "unlovable". Your parents were defective jerks and had to announce it. You just have to learn to ignore/avoid them and ignore/avoid other jerks when they announce themselves through abusive behavior. Above all else avoid trying to placate jerks, it is just a trap.
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Reminds me of the words of my high school English teacher: "Always remember that when someone speaks they are telling you more about themselves than they are about you."

And the words of a friend, says he's ex-CIA, 3 tours of Vietnam. He's seen a lot. Sometimes when I can't figure things, people's weird behavior, he just tells me, "people is no damn good." The Heart of Darkness approach. Then he tells me about the things he's seen....
 
Grampa: 1) Always tip your barber and the guy that alters your suits.

2) If you make a girl feel like she`s special, you`ll always be special to her.

Dad: 1) Life is too short to spend it being petty, or with petty people.
 
My mentor said, about work: "A five-minute commute to a place you hate is a lot longer than an hour commute to a place you love."
 
My father told me, "A true friend is someone who will stand by you no matter what. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. If you can say you have had one true friend in your life, consider yourself lucky."
 
Best advice I ever got came from my recently departed dad. He told me, as a young kid, "If someone hits you, hit him back twice as hard. If he beats you up, live with it until you are ready to fight him again - there's no disgrace in losing. Always go one-on-one - only cowards need somebody else to fight their battles, but if they rat-pack you get your brothers and take them one at a time. Never back down, ever - once you take a step back you'll be walking backwards the rest of your life. Above all, don't tolerate bullies - don't tolerate them bullying you and don't tolerate them bullying any of your friends - always stand up to them." Damn good advice. He was a bigger and tougher man than I but I took that advice to heart and, although it got me in trouble more than once, it has served me well. When I got a bit older he added "A good sucker shot is worth a thousand words." I don't think he really meant it.

Another thing he did was give me a condom when I was around 16 and said "Keep this in your wallet and think with your head," then he slapped me upside my noggin to make sure it stuck. He's been gone only 4 months now and I miss him terribly.
 
Along those lines, advice from my old man, "There's no such thing as a fair fight"." When in a fight, Finish fast, finish first, the longer your in a fight the better your chances of gettin' hurt.", "Never let 'em get up and leave."

From a NJ State Trooper after receivin' a ticket for overdue inspection that I was just about to get away with, "Next time you want to tell me what you think of me, make sure your windows rolled up and I can't hear you, have a nice day Sir."
 
Pop always told me:
"Practice makes perfect."

Mom on my wedding day:
"Don't go to bed angry. Stay up till you make up."
Still married 30 years later.


Steven Covey:
You can't change anyone else. You can change yourself.
 
If you're not cheatin', you're not tryin'.

Heard that in the military and realized the wisdom of it many times. Take the "unfair" advantage and run with it.

There's nothing wrong with success.

And of course the one I live by, part of my sig line.

Failure to prepare is preparing to fail. I had a D.I. tell me that once, and I've heard it many times since. So very true.
 
From Grandpa Al:

You gotta look for the good in life because the bad comes uninvited.

For free, take.
 
Compliments of the father.

"Son, if you keep saying that you are going to start believing it, and then it might actually happen."

Told when I was down about something stupid I did or something like that. (Told many times)
 
"Never lie. Never tattle."

-Advice given to Douglas MacArthur by his mother. I read it in William Manchester's American Caesar.
 
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