Dear Valued Customers,
Thank you for you interest. :thumbup:
Recent Forum discussions have caused me to reformulate and simplify my normal business practices.
The prices in the fast paced area of custom knives are constantly changing and accordingly it is impossible to determine the exact market price of any given knife until the exact moment of purchase. Therefore, I will require; a $5,000 advance deposit for EACH Bowie, a $3,500 one for Fighters and a $2,000 one for Hunters PRIOR to the actual transaction, in order to guarantee you the best possible price.
I will need this deposit for each knife that you maybe interested in purchasing or that I have decided could be a good idea for you to buy. In the case of ART knives, I will determine the increased level of deposit required on a case by case basis. Your deposits should be made in the form of untraceable bearer bonds and will require 60-90 days to clear. The bonds will be kept VERY securely in one of our many international bank accounts located in Nigeria, the Isle of Sark, or my hall closet.
We like to know a little bit about our customers. You can't be too careful in this day and age. It would be helpful for us to have
ALL your bank and credit card information, your Social Security number, mother's maiden name (not nice to forget Mom!) and three fully executed and notarized powers of attorney, just in case. Polaroids of you in an inappropriate pose with a farm animal, would be fun, but are not required.
The buyer will be responsible for all shipping and insurance expenses, including but not limited too, payment and expenses for armed couriers from our Blackwater subsidiary. We will be happy to combine shipments to save you time and money (for a reasonable fee, to be determined).
The actual market selling price of the knife will be determined solely by our Senior Valuation Expert (ME) at the exact moment of the transaction.
As an added bonus, you will be automatically enrolled in our
Golden Circle Custom Club. Each month our expert will select an exciting new piece, from an up and coming maker, to add to your permanent collection. You will receive an instant 10% discount on each GCCC knife, as an added bonus. All of our normal business practices and policies will apply to GCCC knives.
Inspection Period:
Your knife will receive a quick look/see from our expert before it leaves our facility.
Return Policy:
The knife has already undergone an thorough inspection by our expert prior to leaving our facility, so there is never any need to return it. The work has been done for you!
Credits:
You will get credit every single day for your wisdom in doing business with us.
Trade In Policy:
Your collection
IS a permanent monument to pass on to your children. Our expert will absolutely prevent your legacy from being diminished in any way.
Refund of your deposit:
From time to time, our interests and hobbies may change. You may decide to buy a home or start eating again. We understand, but hasty decisions can be costly decisions! After a 365 day cooling off period, we will review your request and decide what is best for you. We are THE experts after all.
It really helps for the buyer and seller to always have a clear understanding of our business relationship. Any issues not expressly covered by these terms and conditions, should be referred directly to our Director of Customer Care, Mr. Paulie Walnuts.
We look forward to expanding our profitable relationship in the future.
Remember our motto:
THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT*
Sincerely,
The Expert
*EXCEPT when the customer is wrong and disagrees with our expert, in which case our expert is ALWAYS right. Always remember, we are the experts, and we are here to do a professional job for and
on you!