Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris is a pretty decent guy. When I made Eagle Scout, he sent me a nice letter and an autographed picture. Of course I'm not sure he actually signed the picture, the photo was so scared it probably signed itself!
 
Chuck Norris does not go hunting because "hunting" implies a chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If Chuck Norris is late. Time better slow the f**k down.
 
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. Of course, this is hypothetical since Chuck Norris doesn't have a death wish.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
 
Someone once said to Chuck Norris, "If you fear what is in the cave, walk in."

Chuck Norris replied, "I would, but every time I get to a cave there's a grinding noise and it just closes up tight!"
 
Confucius said, "Strongest man will always find someone stronger; toughest man will always find someone tougher; his name will be Chuck Norris!"
 
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