- Joined
- Aug 30, 2008
- Messages
- 36,648
We held services today for my mom Carolyn M. Shreenan. This was a highschool photo of her, circa late 50's.
She died of pancreatic cancer. We had her at home via hospice in the town where we grew up Hacienda Heights and she died there. Say what you want about cancer, but going out this way allowed me to say good-bye. I had time to tell mom all that I wanted, and her as well to me. I was relieved that she no longer suffered. Her last 2 weeks were morphine induced pain management. We kept asking the nurse to up the dose, knowing that this may hasten her exit.
I am in awe of my brother, (left side of photo above) who handled the euology and even the reception afterwards with dignity, professionalism and love. He really is a true leader. My sis, in the blue dress is taking it really hard, and I pray that she can pick herself up and keep living. My dad, also is taking it really rough, and is battling depression from the loss of his wife of 48 plus years. I keep telling my dad's long time friend to get him out of the house, and take him away for a weekend, week or month. Now, after the 5 months of watching mom's last season of life, he needs to get away and reflect, and figure out what he wanted to do. That family photo was of my brother's wedding back in 1992 ish. I have put on some weight since those years. Yes, that is me on the right.
I cannot blame my dad for being depressed, for his bride was lovely, and I had awesome parents growing up. They stayed together til death do they part.
They did it right. They were married in 62.
I love the expression on dad's face as a proud father and husband, my brother is the first born.
Here they are 2 yrs. ago, still with a sparkle in her eye at my sister's wedding 2 yrs. ago. She really waited a long time to hitch, but hey, what I am I to say about that, I am on my 3rd and final marriage to Mrs. CJ65.
Of course I will miss my mom, but today was a celebration of her life. I saw some friends from back in the days, some I have not seen since highschool. I could not help but be happy to see some of them. A few I actually looked for, but one was proud to stay off the internet. You will not find him in google. LOL.
Too many emotions to mention, I felt the whole 9 yards.
My wife reminds me constantly how great my family is, we held together, and I never want to take that for granted. For not all families stay close emotionally. We have accomplished that. My brother, dad, and sister are amazing, and good people. I am lucky to have them.
I did not know if I was going to share this much or not, but here I am doing it anyways. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and BF is quite like a family in some ways to me. I care about alot of you guys, some of whom I have personally met, and others via PM's or just witty banter in the beloved Whine and Cheese forum.
So, my message to all of you is..........
Even if you have some rift in your family, make amends, it will be worth it. Some day, we will all die, and you will all have to work hard to bury a beloved family member. It can go seamless, as my great siblings and dad did today. Take the time to tell them you love them, do not let opportunities slip away.
I recall one conversation with my mom as she slipped in and out of lucidity.....
Chris, is this it for me? Am I going to die on this gurney? I had to tell her that she could try chemo again, but for now she is too weak. It was hard, but I always talked straight to her, as she did to me. She was brave til the end, and never really accepted the fact she was dying. She wanted to make some plans to have her grand kids over for the summer so they could swim. We did not make it.
RIP mom,
I love you!
She died of pancreatic cancer. We had her at home via hospice in the town where we grew up Hacienda Heights and she died there. Say what you want about cancer, but going out this way allowed me to say good-bye. I had time to tell mom all that I wanted, and her as well to me. I was relieved that she no longer suffered. Her last 2 weeks were morphine induced pain management. We kept asking the nurse to up the dose, knowing that this may hasten her exit.
I am in awe of my brother, (left side of photo above) who handled the euology and even the reception afterwards with dignity, professionalism and love. He really is a true leader. My sis, in the blue dress is taking it really hard, and I pray that she can pick herself up and keep living. My dad, also is taking it really rough, and is battling depression from the loss of his wife of 48 plus years. I keep telling my dad's long time friend to get him out of the house, and take him away for a weekend, week or month. Now, after the 5 months of watching mom's last season of life, he needs to get away and reflect, and figure out what he wanted to do. That family photo was of my brother's wedding back in 1992 ish. I have put on some weight since those years. Yes, that is me on the right.
I cannot blame my dad for being depressed, for his bride was lovely, and I had awesome parents growing up. They stayed together til death do they part.
They did it right. They were married in 62.
I love the expression on dad's face as a proud father and husband, my brother is the first born.
Here they are 2 yrs. ago, still with a sparkle in her eye at my sister's wedding 2 yrs. ago. She really waited a long time to hitch, but hey, what I am I to say about that, I am on my 3rd and final marriage to Mrs. CJ65.
Of course I will miss my mom, but today was a celebration of her life. I saw some friends from back in the days, some I have not seen since highschool. I could not help but be happy to see some of them. A few I actually looked for, but one was proud to stay off the internet. You will not find him in google. LOL.
Too many emotions to mention, I felt the whole 9 yards.
My wife reminds me constantly how great my family is, we held together, and I never want to take that for granted. For not all families stay close emotionally. We have accomplished that. My brother, dad, and sister are amazing, and good people. I am lucky to have them.
I did not know if I was going to share this much or not, but here I am doing it anyways. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and BF is quite like a family in some ways to me. I care about alot of you guys, some of whom I have personally met, and others via PM's or just witty banter in the beloved Whine and Cheese forum.
So, my message to all of you is..........
Even if you have some rift in your family, make amends, it will be worth it. Some day, we will all die, and you will all have to work hard to bury a beloved family member. It can go seamless, as my great siblings and dad did today. Take the time to tell them you love them, do not let opportunities slip away.
I recall one conversation with my mom as she slipped in and out of lucidity.....
Chris, is this it for me? Am I going to die on this gurney? I had to tell her that she could try chemo again, but for now she is too weak. It was hard, but I always talked straight to her, as she did to me. She was brave til the end, and never really accepted the fact she was dying. She wanted to make some plans to have her grand kids over for the summer so they could swim. We did not make it.
RIP mom,
I love you!
