GORE FAMILY NEARLY HOMELESS
WASHINGTON ~ Concerned auditors at the IRS recently discovered that the Vice-President is on the verge of homelessness. The compassionate IRS agents immediately decided to help out the Gore family during their hard economic times.
IRS Special Accountant Bobby Dobalina, Jr. called the Republicrat National Committee immediately and Republicrat bigwigs set up a trust for Al and Tipper. According to their tax return, the Gores only had income of $197,729 but had to pay a whopping $47,662 in taxes due to a lack of legal deductions. Unlike most Republicrats, who get a healthy mortgage interest deduction, the poor Gore family pays no mortgage payment on the Vice-Presidential Mansion. The Gores also have to spend about $75,000 on tuition fees to send their children to the finest private schools, leaving them nearly broke.
The Republicrat Gore Trust is being set up by a Little Rock law firm and is already accepting donations to help out the Gores. Bobby Dobalina, Jr. told reporters of Gore's extreme generosity, referring to the deductions Gore took for $353 given to charity.
"Just think, if every American sent Vice-President Gore $353, the Gores would not have to face a future of poverty and homelessness," Bobby Dobalina, Jr. said with tears in his eyes,"If only people would be as generous to him as he has been to others."
Lola, an intern in the Vice-President's Office, told reporters that the Gores usually try to keep their charitable donations a secret.
"Al is the most honest and humble man I know. He would never try to capitalize on his generosity and charitable work," the lovely Lola told drunken reporters after the press conference.
The trust fund is not without its critics. Extreme moderates in the Republicrat Party claim that the reason the Vice-President is so generous is because he is an alien. Indicating a split in the unipartisan system, renegade soldiers of the Dick Army Brigade, of which Gore is a member, released a classified photo to wEakLy wHiRL kNEwZ indicating that Gore knows more about evil mutant aliens than he has admitted to.
"Sure, Gore can give away $353. What's money to an alien?" an unidentified spokesman for the Dick Army Brigade told reporters when he delivered the revealing photo.
"All this charity proves he is an alien. Humans don't give away that kind of money," the Dick Army spokesman told us.
Several days after recieving the photo, wEakLy wHiRL kNEwZ UFO experts examined the picture and was able to identify the space ship. According to the experts, the space ship originated from the Arien Planet. The Ariens are evil mutant aliens that may be controlling the human race. Click here to see the shocking picture of Gore greeting evil mutant aliens.
http://members.aol.com/scarien/gore2.htm
[This message has been edited by Bob Irons (edited 08 October 1999).]