Hi gont,
I'll share MHO with you on this issue.
You ask "what is reasonable" well I don't think it is reasonable from the posts in this thread that you are being "mislead" and here is why I think that:
-the dates you were given are deadlines that they have set for themselves to get your knife shipped to you, if your knife was not shipped by then the fact is they simply missed their self-imposed deadline.
-we all (both individuals and businesses) have missed deadlines. It's never the first option

but it happens all too frequently. One example you may remember is Microsoft repeatedly missing their self-imposed deadlines for releases of new OS
-I don't see any deceit or malicious intent in missing a deadline
-also remember even the largest knife companies like Buck, BM, CRKT, Spyderco are actually small businesses, if they were publicly traded and you were looking to invest these would be termed "micro-cap" stocks and knife businesses like Strider, Chris Reeves and Busse are businesses that are small enough that you can call and speak to the owner about a knife you are interested ordering!
-I guess dealing with custom knife makers where I have always waited over a year for an ordered knife has made me value most, the quality, performance, and the makers willingness to stand behind their work.
This is how I look at it. I realize that I am dealing with very small businesses that are successful because the make excellent knives and often the success of their product creates problems in the periphery of the busuiness (like delivery times and shipping) due to the volume of orders created by a popular product.
But personnaly, I've had excellent service and delivery from these companies.