design a knife with nothing you want

I especially like this one. the "klaww"

andersondoublebladegripclosed.jpg


60040565.jpg


"inspired by hell itself. Pull the lever in the handle and two faux damascus blades spring out (see picture 2). This is not as easy as it sounds- a good deal of force is required to get them deployed. When you let go they swing back into place with bone crunching power (well, pretty much). Rubber grip handle. Terror inducing spikes (mounted on either side of the handle) included! "

I especially like to absolute uselessness of this blade and the fact that it has "terror inducing spikes"

:barf:
 
A black Teflon coated Tanto in 440A, wedge hollow grind, partial serrations, raindrop opening hole, short thin linerlock, black FRN grips with lightening holes in decreasing sizes, chromed philips screwhead fasteners, made in the USA.

All the bells and whistles done wrong.
 
OK I'm playin' too! :D A Kukri with gienormous serrations on the entire blade, I'm talking saw type serrations, like on the back of a survival knife! The top third of the blade would have a sharpened swedge with those micro-serrations like on kitchen knives, the ones that are impossible to sharpen and break and bend over with use. Between the end of the swedge and the enormous hilt that bends down interfering with you hand and up to block the bottom third of the front of the blade, making use and sharpening impossible, I would have a spike. No reason... just a spike. The blade would have an etching of a ninja fighting a dragons, with the very same knife, stamped on the blade. The handle would be made of copper so it turns your hand green with use and have 360 degree choils with sand paper inserts. The pommel would have to make a triangle with two points up stabbing your hand with use and one down like a long skull crusher to stap you in the side when wearing. Oh.. the blade would be coated red with green tigerstrips that scratch even in the two riveted plastic slabs sold as a sheath that is comes with, and be made of 420j2 with a really crappy HT... that all I think of for now...BTW I love kukris:D;)
 
This is fun! I want a dull 420 blade with TITANIUM on the both sides of the blade and coated in black. I'd like both sides fully serrated. I'd like the words "never needs sharpening" somewhere prominent on it. id like to be tanto, with "blood grroves" Ideally the handle would be plastic with camo. i like compasses and LOVE LANYARDS WITH SKULL BEADS! The packaging is important too. The more lightning on it the better... OR 90% of the stuff from CS... :D
 
a fixed blade knife with:
a cheap plastic blade with a thin strip of metal glued on for the cutting edge
clear plastic scales with blinking LED lights
a clock and FM radio built into the scales
small button on the blade for sound effects
and "special ops elite" written on the blade

I don't think it can get any worse :grumpy:
 
copperfox said:
I'm a noob, what's a choil?
Click to expand...

a choil is an arch between the sharp side of the blade and handle of the knife. Choils are supposed to give the user better control over blade if they put their first finger there. Most folks swear that they don't do anything but take away a length of cutting edge (I'm inclined to agree with them).
 
Start with a magical metal of over a .25" thick and 10" long for the blade, add ridges like on a ruffles potato chip, then coat it with a powdered substance, then make chainsaw blade inspired serrations down the back, real Indonesian elk horn handles, with a trapdoor to hold a tactical light on the bottom.
 
copperfox said:
I'm a noob, what's a choil?
Click to expand...

Until I joined the forums, I never knew what it was called.

From what I understand, It's supposed to be a space between the edge of the blade and the guard where your index finger can fit (over the guard) for more control in activities like skinning & dressing out game. Like all things that have to do with knives, some manufacturers are making a big deal out of them these days. On a knife with a smaller grip, it might be useful. I personally don't care for them.

On the hunting knives I saw when I was younger, that had a choil, the choil was usually just big enough to comfortably rest your finger, and maybe give you some control, but I never got good enough dressing out game to appreciate it.

thx - cpr
 
I want a folder with an off center blade that scrapes the liners when I open it. The noise will scare off intruders, similar to the way racking a shot gun does. It must rattle when shaken too.
 
Jesus, Mongo, I think you've found a real winner. The word choil also refers to a notch in the edge near the ricasso which makes the entire edge able to be sharpened.
 
I'll avoid the obvious and try to make a knife that somebody else may actually want, while still making sure to use my least favorite features:

Blade:
- Thick and heavy
- Over four inches long
- Some sort of complex and pointless combination of grinds and shapes, recurved for sure, maybe transition from convex to hollow with a tanto point for no reason or something fancy
- A gaudy finish like tiger stripes or digital barbed wire or something else that is supposed to look badass
- A big, pointy, single sided thumb stud
- A super thick edge
- Some holes in front of the thumb stud that descend in size
- Some variety of high hardness stainless that is easy to chip, hard to sharpen and rusts easily, maybe CPM-440V


Handle:
- Aluminum
- Some ridiculous multi-colored hard anodizing pattern over some CNC texturing (Think the original production Offset)
- A wide handle shape with some exaggerated "ergonomics" that only fit one in five people's hand correctly
- The handle swoops upward before the blade to make sure you have a nice, uncomfortable hump dictating where you are allowed to put your thumb when trying to rest your thumb on the spine of the handle in different grips
- Palm swells and a flared butt end to add width and clunkiness
- Thin liner lock (liners are jeweled and anodized)

Pocket Clip:
- Huge and shiny
- Some lame, stylized shape with lots of sharp points and flares
- Holes in it to add gaudiness
- Make it extra tight with a good in and a half or more of the knife sticking out
- Bend it in huge angles with sharp edges so that it sticks out at least a quarter inch from the handle scale, ensuring that you can't hold it comfortably at all
- Finally, make the tip of the clip pointy so as to damage anything you rub up against as much as possible

Features:
- Assisted opening with a big ass flipper. I want this baby to fill my entire front pocket up and absolutely mangle my hand when I try to shove it in there with the knife


The Wabbashock
MSRP - 299.95 (It's really expensive to make something this perplexingly useless)

Also available in all rainbow anodized finish!
Plain or combo edge!
Get explosion bonded Ti blade for an additional $600! Super high tech, super useless!

The sad thing is that I see expensive, high quality production and mid-tech folders that incorporate an alarming amount of the things I've described, and people seem to love them. Mad world.
 
Lessee, hollow plastic handle held to the lightweight 9 inch aluminum blade (has a wide fuller groove on only one side) with crazy glue, stuffed full of #14 goldfish hooks and 1 lb test line, the band aid, a compass cap with a watch battery LED that can be set as an emergency flashlight or a strobe, a pre dulled saw tooth back, vinyl sheath with 1/2 inch belt loop, a screwdriver on one side of the zinc grip guard, a Chevrolet logo on the sheath, and sold with a box showing a picture of a bikini clad girl waving one while standing in front of an Asian pickup truck. And of course the "Please do not swallow blade" warning label stamped on the blade just below the Cyrillic markings used to prove the knife is a genuine KGB knife issued only to elite Spetnaz units.
 
J85909266 said:
I'll avoid the obvious and try to make a knife that somebody else may actually want, while still making sure to use my least favorite features:

Blade:
- Thick and heavy
- Over four inches long
- Some sort of complex and pointless combination of grinds and shapes, recurved for sure, maybe transition from convex to hollow with a tanto point for no reason or something fancy
- A gaudy finish like tiger stripes or digital barbed wire or something else that is supposed to look badass
- A big, pointy, single sided thumb stud
- A super thick edge
- Some holes in front of the thumb stud that descend in size
- Some variety of high hardness stainless that is easy to chip, hard to sharpen and rusts easily, maybe CPM-440V


Handle:
- Aluminum
- Some ridiculous multi-colored hard anodizing pattern over some CNC texturing (Think the original production Offset)
- A wide handle shape with some exaggerated "ergonomics" that only fit one in five people's hand correctly
- The handle swoops upward before the blade to make sure you have a nice, uncomfortable hump dictating where you are allowed to put your thumb when trying to rest your thumb on the spine of the handle in different grips
- Palm swells and a flared butt end to add width and clunkiness
- Thin liner lock (liners are jeweled and anodized)

Pocket Clip:
- Huge and shiny
- Some lame, stylized shape with lots of sharp points and flares
- Holes in it to add gaudiness
- Make it extra tight with a good in and a half or more of the knife sticking out
- Bend it in huge angles with sharp edges so that it sticks out at least a quarter inch from the handle scale, ensuring that you can't hold it comfortably at all
- Finally, make the tip of the clip pointy so as to damage anything you rub up against as much as possible

Features:
- Assisted opening with a big ass flipper. I want this baby to fill my entire front pocket up and absolutely mangle my hand when I try to shove it in there with the knife


The Wabbashock
MSRP - 299.95 (It's really expensive to make something this perplexingly useless)

Also available in all rainbow anodized finish!
Plain or combo edge!
Get explosion bonded Ti blade for an additional $600! Super high tech, super useless!

The sad thing is that I see expensive, high quality production and mid-tech folders that incorporate an alarming amount of the things I've described, and people seem to love them. Mad world.
Click to expand...


Careful, those might be fightin' words. Change a few minor details and it sounds like a dig at Stryder or AirKat!
 
AND, just for the holidays ..... not just a pocket clip, .......a genuine candy-cane-color stocking clip!
 
Mongo-man said:
I especially like this one. the "klaww"

andersondoublebladegripclosed.jpg


60040565.jpg


"inspired by hell itself. Pull the lever in the handle and two faux damascus blades spring out (see picture 2). This is not as easy as it sounds- a good deal of force is required to get them deployed. When you let go they swing back into place with bone crunching power (well, pretty much). Rubber grip handle. Terror inducing spikes (mounted on either side of the handle) included! "

I especially like to absolute uselessness of this blade and the fact that it has "terror inducing spikes"

:barf:
Click to expand...

that MUST be yet another Cold Steel Division......:D:D
 
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