For many years, I never really got Spyder's either. But mostly because the FRN just looked cheap. So when I finally decided to try one, it was a titanium/g10/CF flipper (Blue Weave Domino). Go figure. And I absolutely loved it, and use both the hole and the flipper. So I decided to try another, then another, and a few FRN's, and more CF's. Now I can't stop dammit!
I have no problem flipping with thumb, but have never been able to flick with any other finger. My hands are between med and lrg, and only now becoming "not so thin" with age. But my thumb just seems to fall right into position for the Spydie Hole. So for me it was a long time coming, but now just love them. Lately I've had a bad fetish with ZT flippers and Spyderco's from all countries. But the Taiwan Spyders are my favorite of the bunch.