"also got drunk last night. And I have two new unexplainable bruises to show for it. I also got into a fight with my boyfriend, partly about my drinking. I'm going to tell my doctor today, but I always tell him and there really is nothing he can do except tell me to go to AA, which I don't want to do in such a small town."
Ashes,
I just lost my youngest brother to alcoholism last month. He died of heart and liver failure at 41. He had been struggling for years, in and out of treatment and AA. He has two daughters, 6 and 10 years old.
His pain is over, but so is any chance for all the good life could hold. Most people have pain to deal with and we have to make a choice to live or give up-sometimes every day.
Please try to deal with your issues without self-destructing. Think of all that might be and what you might want to do while you are here. Stockman's advice is solid.