Funny things non knife people say.

I don't get too many comments but of the ones I've heard, "Why do you carry a knife?" is the most common. My response is usually, "Why don't you?"


This is one of my favorite knife stories.

An old roommate of mine was at a Chinese restaurant on a first date with a girl he'd been chatting up at his job for a while. They ordered egg rolls as an appetizer which came 3 to an order. She asked if he'd split the last one with her and he agreed. Since they had decided to use chopsticks. the waiter had removed the silverware from the table and he was now nowhere to be seen. So my roommate pulled the Spyderco out of his pocket (I don't remember the model he used to EDC but it was definitely no longer than 3"), wiped the blade on his napkin, sliced the egg roll in half, again wiped the blade off on his napkin, and returned the knife to his pocket.

When he looked up she was staring at him in horror. Conversation was almost non-existent after what I've come to call "The Egg Roll Incident" so he asked for their entrees to be boxed to go and drove her home. That was the end of their one and only date.

He told me the story that night when he got home and after I'd finished wiping the tears from my face from laughing so hard, I said this to him, "Don't worry man, this is actually a great thing. You've stumbled upon an outstanding new screening method for girlfriends! Any woman who gets freaked out at the sight of a simple pocket knife isn't the one for you."

As an epilogue, he told me about a year later that she avoided him at work whenever possible, right up through the day he left for a new job.​
 
Of course you can always ask them if they like having dull scissors so that they've got to hack away at whatever they're trying to cut or open.
 
As a knifemaker myself I have been asked a few stupid things related to that.

"Why would you make knives when you could buy them at walmart"
"Why don't you make sweet Rambo knives"
"Are you some kind of killer who makes your own so they don't have serial numbers"
"Why don't you use SURGICAL STEEL? Is it too expensive"
"You know if someone kills someone with a knife you made, that's murder and you go to jail right"
"You should make a ninja sword from folded steel. Those can cut through anything, even railroad track."
 
As a knifemaker myself I have been asked a few stupid things related to that.

"Why would you make knives when you could buy them at walmart"
"Why don't you make sweet Rambo knives"
"Are you some kind of killer who makes your own so they don't have serial numbers"
"Why don't you use SURGICAL STEEL? Is it too expensive"
"You know if someone kills someone with a knife you made, that's murder and you go to jail right"
"You should make a ninja sword from folded steel. Those can cut through anything, even railroad track."

Now that is some of the funniest I've read in this whole thread!
 
"How do you close it? I don't know how, I don't want to break it."

Hahaha, please.
 
or one I recently got from one of my friends,

"Why do you even like knives so much? What interests you about them? They're just knives.."
 
The one that always pisses me off, "you don't need another knife". Not a matter of "need", but want
 
I was at Skyline Chili. Got the Greek Salad. The dressing comes in this big, very tough (like almost MRE tough) plastic bag. I got out my Endura to cut it open...and was doing so...when the waitress came up and said something like "OMG, do you need like a knife or something"? I replied, "no thanks, uummmm, I have a knife". WOW, just WOW.
 
- "Wow, really ! You know you look like a maniac while you sit there slicing up paper sheets ?"
- "Well, you know, I've been sharpening this knife and now I want to know if I have done a correct or at least satisfying j... Forget it, I'm a maniac."
Those who know nothing can't understand. Let them talk crap and forget it.
 
- "Wow, really ! You know you look like a maniac while you sit there slicing up paper sheets ?"
- "Well, you know, I've been sharpening this knife and now I want to know if I have done a correct or at least satisfying j... Forget it, I'm a maniac."
Those who know nothing can't understand. Let them talk crap and forget it.

Haha! My problem is sometimes I just sit and slice up paper sheets without sharpening....Something about the sound it makes
 
Somehow, I knew I wasn't the only maniac around... That sound says a lot about your cutting edge.
 
my coworker after noticing that I peal apples in office with a different knife everyday has said:
"You know that I am your friend, right?.. if you snap and go on a stabbing rampage please remember that I am your friend."
he was only half joking.
I made a mental note that if I do snap one day I will stab him first
 
my coworker after noticing that I peal apples in office with a different knife everyday has said:
"You know that I am your friend, right?.. if you snap and go on a stabbing rampage please remember that I am your friend."
he was only half joking.
I made a mental note that if I do snap one day I will stab him first

Sounds like he should give you a snickers!
 
Yesterday, a package came for the previously mentioned former marine co-worker of mine and i kept it in my office because he wasnt there when it came. He wanted to open it and said "are you packin' today?" and i go "always" and give him my buck cadet. He goes "now if i tried to open the box with my gun it wouldnt work very well". Opens the box, then looks for some time of lock on the knife and i go "prepare to be amazed" and push the blade to close it.
 
My oldest brother needed a package opened the other day, so I busted out my Kershaw Cryo and went to work. He asked if he could see it, and after a minute or so confessed he didn't know how on earth he would close it. I took it from his hands and showed him how. He then told me, "Sorry we can't all be as gangster as you." Haha, I didn't know gangsters carried around Hinderer-designed framelocks!
 
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