Good Excuses Thread

my excuse is that I have no choice in the matter and my wife knows that I am not lying
 
First of all, excuses are like "#@$%@#*&," now that we've got that out there and an "#@$%@#*&" can speak his mind, I say, honey, I work hard and risk my life every day so I can provide this roof over our heads and put food on the table and so we can have the finer thinks in life and well...............to put it simply this here FBMLE is one of those finer things! Please :rolleyes:
 
(1) ... but honey, you are always telling me that if I am going to do something that I should see it through to the end.

(2) I did it for you not me.

(3) Hey, this one is on SALE!

(4) But I need two of each if I am going to match.

(5) I need to "fit in" with the rest of the guys.

(6) We agreed on freedom of religion.
 
How about the age old, I'm the man of this house and what I say goes, for I am the provider, hell, I am the provider of INFI and you will respect my authority.

PS don't let my wife read this!
 
here is my wife's excuse for me:

"I'd rather you have an affair with a knife than another woman"

"If your on the busse forum, I know your not with another woman"

Excuses I have used:

"I sold several of my non-busse knives to get this one"

"I will sell these other non-busse knives to pay for the Blade 06 knives"

"I have had these on order for about 3 years and I totally forgot about them, wow what a nice surprise"

"Jerry needs the money for next years scotch and cigars at blade"

"Jerry made a mistake and sent me these, I can't be rude and return them"

"Jerry said that for every $100 I spend he will give me 100 pennies back, so it is a 100% return"

Exchanges me and the wife have had:

me:"man, there is no better investment than a busse, look at what that SHBM just sold for"
Her:"yah, but you never sell your SHBM's"
me:"true, but when times are hard we can think about it"
Her:"when you die I liquidate quickly"
me:"die?, that's a long time from now"
her:"really?"
 
two lines i have actually used- the first worked- the second didn't...

1. Honey...look on the bright side...my hobbies are tax deductible.

2. but honey...I could turn around and sell this knife for one and a half times what I just paid for it...


...are you going to?

...well no, but, thats not the point (argument lost)...
;)
 
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