I've said it before - Cliff never met a knife he could not break.
For that matter, neither have I. But generally, I chose not to do so. He on the other hand found it a matter of principal.
Breaking a knife does not make one an expert, nor does spewing an inordinate amount of gibberish about the knife. Repeatedly breaking a knife intentionally speaks of an immature fascination with the sound of broken glass as well as a psycho-sexual compulsion to control what you cannot have.
He's the only person ever to break a pair of Mad Dog knives in a week. After the first, je was given a replacement knife free of charge. When Kevin refused to replace the second knife Cliff set out to break with zeal, Cliff went on a lifelong crusade to smear the Mad Dog name.
The results of that little incident? Currently Mad Dog has a three-year backlog on average, depending on the model you're chasing. Cliff has been booted off a free internet site. That's a pretty good sumation of how these events have shaped their lives.
Cliff may now have to move out of Mom's basement and get a job that does not require local-access cable. And in the event anyone was ever amused by his sig line of "in the field, moving fast" - I have excellent reason to doubt this, as do we all.
Spark, you tolerated him far longer than necessary in your little kingdom that we all appreciate and use for our own needs. This alone speaks to your capacity for forgiveness, or at least being entertained by the court jester.
Now can someone direct me to his latest insanity so that I may read it over a few classicly wonderful rum and tonic cocktails with a nice juicy chunk of lime, instead of going to work today? This is so good it must be enjoyed perfectly, and the new-found sloth that this inspires in me can only make it better. Nothing like a perfect morning of schadenfreude, this is even better than watching Springer on a rainy morning while eating a fresh bag of Cheetos.
