Hello, I am new, and my real name is David

Thank you, Eric, such mature and kind people are on this site, it really is quite a pleasant surprise. I don't know why it was surprising. You are right, to forget about the past and not learn from it is foolish indeed, many greater men than I have failed in their lives endeavors because they ignored histories lessons. Thank you very much, Eric, and everyone else, for your support, it is touching in a non-creepy way that is so very appreciated right now. Like Pete said, my life must seem like a morbid soap opera to the external viewers on this site, but I believe life's hardships, (and the mistakes we make, lets not forget about that David), give us, in the end, greater strength of mind for it. The sad thing is, I don't have it NEARLY as bad as some people in the USA alone have it. That awareness is why my urge to help others, and to protect them from further harm, is so strong in me. And that is why I am, despite my crippling anxiety and paranoia, going to volunteer wherever I can at homeless shelters. Some of them could be leech-like monsters inside, but I believe most of them are honest people who were dealt a terrible hand in life, and have grown tougher for it. Thank you all, and good morning.
 
You sound like a good egg, David:)

As someone who has been unofficially diagnosed with borderline social avoidance (what people mistakenly refer to as "anti-social"), I know how tough it is to step out of your comfort zone. In a business setting, in my field, where I am very knowledgeable, I'm super outgoing and easy to talk to. In an unfamiliar social setting, forget it. I'm a total wallflower and on pins and needles.

My advice, take it slow and easy:) See what kind of help the local places need. It might be stacking cases of canned goods. Then they might need you to help wash pots in the kitchen. Then it might be ladling out soup. Through that interaction, you're going to build both relationships as well as confidence. It's confidence that allows those of us that are non-social butterflies to open up and be at ease. Once you get into the groove, you might actually be able to talk to some of these down on their luck folks. Sometimes, all they need is an ear willing to listen.

Helping others is not a race. There is no quota or time limit or expectation. Just do what you can for who you can, and I promise you'll make a noticeable difference:thumbup:
 
David, while it may not feel like it, your life is really just beginning. Youth is a kind of prelude to life. Mistakes, made in youth and adulthood, are a way of life. We’ve all made MANY. You would probably be very surprised to find out just how “normal” you are. As for what you will do with your life, many nineteen year olds don’t have a clue. Evaluate your options: get into college/tech school, join the military, or jump into the work force. Be flexible and realize that life is flexible. By that I mean you can change course at any point in life. Life is not a train, where you get on and you’re stuck until the end. It’s more like a ship. You often can’t turn on a dime, but with careful planning, you make it take you where you want to go.

As for the anxiety and paranoia, you are not alone there either. Our culture thrives on anxiety and paranoia. “News” stories are carefully chosen and prepared to elicit a shock or strong emotional reaction. The media wants you to feel that the sky is falling, because that will make you stay tuned. Always remember that mankind has prepared for the imminent end of the world for a long, long time. We should all be careful, watchful, and as self-sufficient as possible, but also know our descendants will be talking about impending doom for thousands of years to come! I listened to some CDs by Ekhart Tolle (sp?). He speaks of the “mind” as if it were a separate entity fighting for control of your life with your consciousness. Some of what he says is a stretch, but this concept kind of makes sense. Ever notice how things can be going great, and all of a sudden, those thoughts of impending doom pop up and ruin everything? It seems as though the mind is always trying to, as my buddy so eloquently puts it, “put its s#$t in the middle of your enjoyment”. We often create scenarios in our minds about how bad things will turn out, only to find things end up just fine. So, when the “mind” creeps in to put its “stuff” in the middle of your enjoyment, just say “I’m on to you” and focus on the present while visualizing the goal. The goal is easy: a happy life. The path of your happy life is up to you. You are on the right track with helping others. Many much older than you have not realized just how much personal gain can be derived from giving.

Right now, my advice would be to enjoy your youth, follow your heart, and always know that no matter how bad it seems, it is temporary. I believe we are given trials and tribulations for a reason. These times bring us closer to family, ourselves, and our Creator. Know that you are never, ever alone. Remember there are those around you who would likely die for you. Live a good life and be happy for you and them. You are here for a reason, as we all are, and that reason will become apparent when we are supposed to learn it. That time might not be until it’s told to you by the person who put you here. Be patient and know the reason is as valid and important as anything ever could be. Sorry for the ramble. Hopefully Uncle Bill wouldn’t mind his cantina being used for some fellowship. I don’t think he would:). Take care and remember you’re always welcome here.
 
Dear David - i usually dont put all my business on the street but maybe i can encourage you a bit.

Learning to pause and wait in conversation be it in person or on the net has this a hard thing for me to do - but again if it was easy it probably wouldn't be good.

- a lot of good things have been said to you in this thread - good luck -
Sincerely - Eric
 
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Thanks guys or gals, you sure know how to make people feel welcome. I always feel like I gotta make a difference right now, you know? But that needs to stay a lifelong aspiration I never get bored with, so I will take your advice Jake and space it out. Nice job being moderator, I could not tell you had a single mental abnormality, so you are doing quite well for yourself all things considered. (What handicap? I'M HANDICAPABLE!!) And I do hope, like you, that Bill Martino approves of my thread jdk1, because I hear ghosts have supernatural powers that personally, scare the ectoplasm out of me. Not that Bill would harm me with his superpowers, because from what I heard, he was good natured, generous, and always strove for equality amongst people. I personally, do not believe in Christianity, but, from what I've heard, if anyone deserved a better place, it would probably be him. And don't get me wrong, I am open minded and will to anyones claims that their god is best. I just don't hold with it myself. Anyway, thank you all for the help. And MrMike, I am sorry about my outburst, it was uncalled for, and almost unforgivable, though I would like your forgiveness. Not to defend my actions, but when I perceive a threat to my already precarious mood, I try to eliminate it. Best defense is a good offense. It sounds selfish, but that is an unfortunate part of human nature. Fortunately, there are many good qualities in human beings that usually outweigh the negative.
And Thank you for sharing Eric. I feel for your past and rejoice in your present and future. I will NOT take a holier than thou approach to all these wonderful people and their advice, though I appreciate your concern about me maybe doing so. It speaks volumes about your character when you have a dark past, a lit present, and a bright future as you do, Eric, as well as myself. I believe I have good things ahead of me as well. I believe everyone has the chance to become a great person, though not all are dealt the same hand as us. I am truly fortunate to, lets say, not be born with congenital heart disease, or missing limbs, or suffering from paralysis, cerebral palsy, and so much more. I can hardly imagine how they must feel, and I definitely feel for the people who went from having something to blowing it, or never having anything at all, being born into poverty, being born into famine and pestilence. Sometimes, we just got to look at how lucky we are compared to others, and keep pushing on in life. And I promise I will do that much more often. I will make sure I don't take up any more of Bladeforum's precious time with virtually non-existent problems (don't get me wrong, I have issues, I know that, they just feel so small when I remember the pictures of those poor kamis working in huts with little to their name, while I whine about not getting a PSP NGP, or something trivial like that.) It amazes me, the strength of the human species will to endure. Peace out, everyone. You are good people.
 
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Thanks guys or gals, you sure know how to make people feel welcome. I always feel like I gotta make a difference right now, you know?
That's your youth speaking. Everything slows down (except time) as you get older. ;)

Nice job being moderator, I could not tell you had a single mental abnormality, so you are doing quite well for yourself all things considered.
No offense to anyone, but I don't think anyone here DOESN'T have a mental abnormality! I think it's part of the reason the Cantina is probably one of the best places on the whole net. Nobody really condemns anyone else their problems because we're all nutz. The other thing is, "normal" people are boring. These guys are interesting to talk to because we're all wired differently and you get a wide range of outlooks on the same topic.

For the most part I think psychology is a load of poop. Look at all the people who really made a difference in the world -- to the point of making the history books -- they'd all be classified as "abnormal" in one way or another. I'm one of those intuitive guys. I've had dreams that come true -- often. I can often size up a situation and see what's going to happen down the road. When I was in engineering, I was horrible at the discrete mathematical parts of it, but I could tell guy "change this, this this, and that by these amounts." They'd be all like "Wait! We have to change one thing at a time and see what effect it has." "No, change them all." When they crunched the numbers, my SWAG was nearly dead-on. Now, in our society I'm considered "a dreamer, not well grounded in reality, tending towards flights of fancy." In earlier times, they'd call me a seer or prophet and I'd be highly sought after. So, don't take "abnormality" as making you less, it just makes you different. Play on it and use the difference to your advantage, instead of trying to hide or suppress it.


And I do hope, like you, that Bill Martino approves of my thread jdk1, because I hear ghosts have supernatural powers that personally, scare the ectoplasm out of me. Not that Bill would harm me with his superpowers, because from what I heard, he was good natured, generous, and always strove for equality amongst people. I personally, do not believe in Christianity, but, from what I've heard, if anyone deserved a better place, it would probably be him.
You can go to the archives section at the bottom of the BladeForums Main page and read Uncle Bill's posts and see just what kind of man he was.


And Thank you for sharing Eric. I feel for your past and rejoice in your present and future. I will NOT take a holier than thou approach to all these wonderful people and their advice, though I appreciate your concern about me maybe doing so.
Unless I read it wrong, he was concerned that YOU would take OUR advise as US being holier than thou towards you, not you being holier than thou.
We do mean well.

I will make sure I don't take up any more of Bladeforum's precious time with virtually non-existent problems (don't get me wrong, I have issues, I know that, they just feel so small when I remember the pictures of those poor kamis working in huts with little to their name, while I whine about not getting a PSP NGP, or something trivial like that.) It amazes me, the strength of the human species will to endure. Peace out, everyone. You are good people.
On the contrary, it's best you do share (if you want to). It helps to get things off your chest, and believe it or not, helping with your problems helps keep us (well, me) from grinding ourselves down to nothing with our own problems. Often helping someone else with their problems is the best medicine for ours. I mean heck, we post about our dogs dying (and getting new dogs), things we go out and do, things that happen to us. It's what the Cantina is for.
 
he is right and i apologize if i said that wrong - i wanted you to know that people here were not being holier than thou - towards you

i like that part about Normal -- dictionary definition of normal - "reduced to a standard" - i dont want to be reduced and who makes up the standard?
 
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Yes, and unfortunately, in the psychology sense, that standard they want us reduced to is the LEAST common denominator. We aren't even striving for mediocrity anymore, we're striving for stupidity.
 
Indeed. Thanks for the clarification about the 'holier than thou' stuff, you guys. On a different note...my mom has surprisingly changed her mind. So I have been looking up knives, and I think I found the perfect one. The unfortunate part is...HI does not make it, and, correct me if I am wrong, but the kamis cannot just find H1 steel lying around in Mercedes Benz, can they? It is called the Spyderco Warrior. What do you guys think? Could you help me out with this? Is this the right knife for my survivaling desires, or is it purely a killing knife? Because I do not want a purely killing knife. I kind of like the sound of a differentially, clay tempered knife of H1 myself. Plus it looks pretty darn cool, if I do say so myself. I would like to have a knife by HI simply because I want to support the kamis on this one, but I don't know if I can wait for them to make it, ship it, and for it to arrive, whatever 'it' may be. Decisions, decisions...well, that was an enlightening pause that revealed absolutely nothing. Thanks in advance for reading this, though according to Punishment, you guys have little else to do, so perhaps it should be you all thanking me. Just kidding, that was a joke. LAUGH, DARN YOU!!!! Until next time, cool people of bladeforums.
 
nothing else to do - i wish - shouldn't be so sure about that i am busy all day every day with to much to list here
 
if you want a survival knife and want quality forget the cool name - Michal Hawke has been survivalist a long time on the Discovery TV shows he did he used a short machete made by well known Japanese maker Hiro they only have 5 left because i bought #9 for me and # 6 for a friend available here

http://www.japaneseknifedirect.com/Specials.html

have to scroll down its the one with the 11 inch blade with oval slots on the back - that and a standard Mora will accomplish about anything you want to do and for less money - still have 70 dollars left to but other supplies


or you can order a Ang Kola or others that people here have taken the time to help you with -- and have it 4 days or wait 4 days anyway for a machine factory made spydorco -- with the HI you get #1 a hand forged piece of history and # 2 a forever no BS guarantee and #3 help people like you were talking about wanting to do

gratitude is an action not a word
 
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So I have been looking up knives, and I think I found the perfect one. The unfortunate part is...HI does not make it, and, correct me if I am wrong, but the kamis cannot just find H1 steel lying around in Mercedes Benz, can they? It is called the Spyderco Warrior. What do you guys think? Could you help me out with this? Is this the right knife for my survivaling desires, or is it purely a killing knife? Because I do not want a purely killing knife.

Re the Spyderco Warrior: compared to the kind of khukuris you were desiring, it's a very different sort of blade, not much of a chopper at all at just over 10 inches overall length and at a 4 mm spine thickness. Spyderco makes great knives; their folders are second to none IMO. However, this knife is much more of a killing knife (according to Spyderco's own description), and won't do half as well as a khuk out in the woods.
 
Hopefully Uncle Bill wouldn’t mind his cantina being used for some fellowship. I don’t think he would:). Take care and remember you’re always welcome here.

I tried to find the exact quote, perhaps an longer time member can remember it,
but these words are close:

"What has this got to do with Khukuri's ... well, Everything!"
 
It is called the Spyderco Warrior. What do you guys think? Could you help me out with this? Is this the right knife for my survivaling desires, or is it purely a killing knife? Because I do not want a purely killing knife. I kind of like the sound of a differentially, clay tempered knife of H1 myself.

Well, first off, it is a combat knife by design.

Second the description says it has the same properties of a clay hardened samurai sword -- it's not a clay hardened blade of H1, in other words. They are essentially saying it's tough like a differentially hardened blade.

Now, HI blades are of truck spring steels mostly, and most truck springs are 5140 or 5160 spring steel. Most people who make working swords (as opposed to display pieces) will tell you that a spring steel is best to use and a LOT of them use 5160.
HI blades are differentially hardened, so they have hard edges for taking and holding a good edge and are softer toward the spine, making them extremely tough.

It's thought the kukri design came from captured kopis swords that Alexander's troops used when he invaded the region. The people began to use them for day to day living, and adapted the style to being a better tool, but remaining a weapon at the same time. They are blades that are used around the home, on the farm, and if necessary, in combat. Want a survival knife? By design, the kukri is, and always has been, exactly that.

Want the toughest survival blade around? The Chiruwa Ang Khola (CAK) is it. I have a 20", as do a few others (BFH44 just got his), but they are found in smaller sizes as well (I think the standard is 16.5").

Want one that is the perfect balance of combat and working blade? The M43 is it, with the Amar Singh Thapa seemingly coming close.

Any of those will do far better at the "wilderness survival" task than any standard knife design.
 
Okay. Thanks again, everyone. You're right, it is going against my word to help the kamis by supporting another brand. I will support them, not just because they are some of the most decent people out there that deserve my money, but because I believe they can help me as well, in finding some peace of mind and contentment with what I have. I contacted a University of Delaware dude for help in authenticating my 'meteorites' and he seems like an honest scientist, though he cannot help me, his scientist friends might be able to. I hope they have the same dedication to science as he does, otherwise that might be a big payoff for me stolen and sold right under my nose. And I have darn good intentions for that money too. Anyway, I will get to contacting Miss Yangdu Martino sometime after I weather the explosion of telling my dad, the paranoid monster, that I am getting a knife. He'll probably blow his smokestack halfway to Mars...good times...good times.... Once again, ANYWAY, thanks again for the help, everyone. If I were not skeptical about religion, I would pray for you all, however, I can wish you all peace and good health, so, there it is. :) Bye!
 
Is anyone familiar with Laci Szabo's tactical golok design? If someone does know what I am talking about, or looked it up real quick, great, because I think it is the coolest looking thing around, and, unsurprisingly, I am enamored by it. So, I was thinking, since the kami's do customs sometimes, I was thinking maybe they could emulate that design. I know it would be asking a heck of a lot of them, and, like someone here said, it would probably be like reinventing the wheel to ask them to do that. But I would be willing to pay through the nose to get my hands on a simple, unpolished, down-to-earth version of Szaboinc's tactical golok. Of course, this would mean that I would have to save up over the course of a year probably, unless a miracle happens with my meteorites. Heck, I might even save up over the course of two years and buy two. It would be, quite simply, God-of-War-esque. I think any self respecting game player would die of envy if I drilled a hole in the handles, attached an eyebolt with some heavy duty chains, and walked around swinging them like Kratos. I also would be arrested/roughed up/shot, so maybe that is a bad idea. But nonetheless, while I like the kukris everyone mentioned a whole lot, I think Szaboinc's design might better suit me, in the terms of using it both as a collectors item, a conversation piece, and a general all-encompassing-beast-of-a-tool. But, by all means, if I get an overwhelming consensus that this is a bad idea or it is impossible, or it does not suit my needs, then okay, I get it, I'll stick with kukri's no matter what kind of cool gimmick knives I see. If not, then, AWESOME, I'll start saving. I value all your opinions highly, in case you all did not know. Thanks in advance for your time and effort.
Gorog
 
For anyone else unfamiliar with the golok, here it is: http://www.szaboinc.com/edged_detail.asp?offset=70&ID=118

It does surprisingly look similar to the GoW blades. But as cool is it looks, at best, it will only match the effectiveness of a khukuri. Laci Szabo makes a lot of crazy designs which aren't necessarily the most effective in practice.

However, in saying that, HI has made some crazy designs as well, and this golok design really isn't too crazy. Just look at yesterday's Shiva knife. In fact, if you're willing to fork out the cash for a custom design, I actually think it can be done by HI. Be aware that it won't look exactly the same, and the kamis add their own flair to their knives. Therefore, expect a traditional handle, and a cho as well, probably some fullers.:D

If you really want to go this route, I suggest making some slight modifications to Szabo's design to make it a bit more khuk-like to accommodate the kamis. For example, this golok, despite the name, is actually somewhat similar to a khuk, however the sweet spot has a large concave recurve instead of a belly. If you altered that part, making it a belly, it would really be almost like a khukuri. I don't think HI would have any trouble at all making one for you.
 
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Cool, Leo, thanks for the input, I will do my best to make it easy for the kami's, totally. If I can upload it onto the site, I will sketch out a prototype and see if anyone thinks its cool or not--never mind that, I can't post attachments, darn it. See you all later.
 
David, you can draw out a picture, scan it onto the computer and upload it for free onto a image-hosting website like photobucket. I'm somewhat interested in what you can do; others have provided great designs to HI which have grown to become my favourite designs. The Foxy Folly, Pen Knife and Practical Hunter are among my favourite HI blades; all were designed by forumites.

I can see this Szabo-inspired design going somewhere.
 
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