HIKV: signs and symptoms

[DocPat2511]

Given the ongoing debate as to what consitutes legitimate research and what behaviors are, in fact, symptoms of HIKV, I thought the denizens of the cantina should try to delineate the syndrome . . . in the interest of future medical research and treatment.

I have noticed a few:

When you have a 12" tree in the back yard you want to drop, and getting the chainsaw seems like too much trouble, you probably have HIKV.

When you have 800 khukuris, you DEFINITELY have HIKV.

When you have a ready-made e-mail macro for UBDOTD's, you definitely have HIKV.

When you know which side of the bed your sirupati likes to sleep on, you need urgent hospitalization.

Any others?

[This message has been edited by DocPat2511 (edited 05-25-2001).]

 

[jim_l_clifton]

Doc,
You & "LEGITIMITE RESEARCH are TOTAL strangers!I am concern. about your Med.Qual.if you persist in this False disease!It does NOT exist, I should know,if there was ANY such thing I would posibly have it!"BUT IT DOESN'T & I DON'T"!hee!jim

 

[jim_l_clifton]

Doc,
Notice how mispelling occurs ,when one discusses, writes, or even thinks of K's!
jim

 

[Finn]

Jim, it's called Denial

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"To Know and to Act are One"

 

[jim_l_clifton]

Finn,
No it's none of that D stuff, It's called being honest!YOU ,all OF YOU PEOPLE ,ARE LOOKING FOR excuses FOR YOUR HOBBY! Me! I just tell it like it is,"RESEARCH"!My, My, I can hear the "WAILING"now!I consider the following a lostGroup

oc,Wal,Vince,Blues,Wrongfriend,Tom,Berk,Brian,Finn,Yvsa,Terry,Rus,(hopeless)AND John, I'm not to sure of!Sigh! I really have my work cut out for me! If they would only think rationally!Simple: I'm right , they are "ALL" wrong!
jim
jim

 

[Mochiman1]

Doc--the late James Mattis was a terrific knife enthusiast and highly regarded internet knife dealer. One day he found his way to Uncle Bill's Cantina and immediately became a regular. When he tore his eyes away from his computer screen for a moment a few months later, he suddenly realized that despite his considerable experience wheeling and dealing in knives he'd somehow unconsciously amassed a very large collection of khuks--more, he said, than any fairly sedentary person living in the L.A. metro area could possibly justify--and had even designed several original models for HI. At that point he shared with us his panicky mantra: "Please don't let her see them all at once! Please don't let her see them all at once!"
I know that sentiment. To me it's a Class 1 symptom of HIKV. And it's why mine are scattered in various locations throughout the house.

 

[Finn]

Now Jim - THIS ain't no hobby! Why, with all the MOUNTAIN LIONS, BEARS, WILD DOGS, GILA MONSTERS, uh SNAKES, WILD CATTLE, COYOTES, uh, uh, FREE RANGE BUZZARDS - well the list just goes on, and a man needs a good khukuri clenched in his teeth just to get a decent nights sleep around here!

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"To Know and to Act are One"

 

[DocPat2511]

Omigod . . . now Finn is SHOUTING TOO!

IT'S SPREADING!

Mochiman- Good one.

[This message has been edited by DocPat2511 (edited 05-25-2001).]

 

[Finn]

Let us broaden the conceptual context communicated by the word "kuk".

------------------
"To Know and to Act are One"

 

[Rusty]

Spread them out as the new gradually replace the old in special places, and keep rotating them around as an aid to cultivating quicker and deeper short/long term memory loss.

Another suggestion is periodically rotating a half-dozen to a place of prominence - say a small alter(humph)native display...

 

[Finn]

Rusty, I kinda like that idea - I could start cacheing them in different areas on the property. That way no matter where I am attacked, even if I'm naked, there will be a kuk handy.

------------------
"To Know and to Act are One"

 

[Rusty]

Some tips are:

Bianchi Blue protectant storage gunbag near the shower or tub,

Same but double bagged in toilet tank,

Cable tie sheathe to bedframe,

Behind the drapes near the front door...

there, that should get you started - ask more anytime.

 

[Finn]

Excellent! I had only been thinking about hanging them from trees and bushes and/or burying them outside. Thanks!

------------------
"To Know and to Act are One"

 

[DocPat2511]

I think I'm seeing plenty of signs of the illness.

Unfortunately, they're being demonstrated instead of described.

 

[Yvsa]

:
HOBBY?!?!?!?!
HOBBY MY ARSE!!

IT'S MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT!!!!!!HEE!!!
My "HOBBY" is collecting and sharpening All Sorts of Knives from many parts of the world!!!! And I LOVE GUNS TOO!!!! FISHING TACKLE ALSO PLAYS A PART.
A NEW ROD AND REEL CAN STILL SET THE OLD HEART A FLUTTER!!!!HEE.

The HIKV _ONLY_ ENTERS IN WITH HIMALAYAN IMPORTS KHUKURI'S!!!!!HEE HEE HEE.

TSIMI your rapidly heading for a new nickname!!!!

Brother Just Think of Your Credibility!!!! It is Rapidly Slippin Away!!!!!
Soon there is Not Gonna BE ANYONE who believes your Tales About RESEARCH.

GEE WHIZ MY FRIEND AND BRO PLEASE THINK OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND WHO YOU'RE TRYING TO CONVINCE!!!!
We ALL KNOW WHAT WE HAVE!!!!
AND WHAT GETS ME IS THAT YOU ALMOST HAD ME _FOOLED_ FOR A TIME!!!!HEE.
BUT I caught on to your game!!! AND JUST IN TIME TOO!!!!!HEE HEE.
YOU WON"T FOOL ME AGAIN WITH YOUR TALK OF "RESEARCH"!!!!! HEE HEE.

I CaN SeE IT NoW!!!!
TSIMI WiLL SooN DO LikE MY CUZ'S HUSBAND AND START MooNiNG THOSE PEoPLE WHO KNocK ON YOUR DOOR WAnTInG TO GIVE YOU ThoSe LITTLE PAMPHLETS OR Sell YoU SoMeThInG.

HEE HEE.
OR MaYbE TsImI WiLL JuSt AnSwEr ThE DooR WiTh A DrAwN H.I.KhUkUrI HEE.

Yvsa (wHo hAs rAn oUt of HIKV MeDs.)
(AnD I WaS CoUnTiNg oN ThAt NeW DuRbA yCs UnClE BiLL WaS TeLLiNg Me AbOuT.)

 

[Finn]

Doc,

Sorry for the digression (progression?). Thank you for refocusing.

Finn

 

[DocPat2511]

Just enjoying the show, Finn.

 

[Finn]

Great, Doc! Nothing lifts my spirits like a brazen post.

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"To Know and to Act are One"

 

[Lt. Dan]

Jim may be onto something. There could be a genetic factor here. My dad's dad and my brothers are immune to poison ivy. So it is with the proposed khukuri virus; I am also immune. I can't take credit for it, it's just who I am.

Of course, if there was a high dollar habit that I was having trouble controlling, invoking the virus excuse instead of 'fessing up to lack of (gulp) self control would be mighty convenient. I would just hate to have to take personal responsibility for the likes of that!

Could there be no such animal, but just another example of personal choice? Jim, your motives of personal financial sacrifce for research for mankind might simply be misunderstood by the masses. Hopefully nobody is motivated to give you the business out of guilty feelings from jealousy or khukuri greed.

Press on and be a beacon of light to all, and perhaps they, too, will someday take the high road. Be strong and when the going gets tuff, remember that you may be on the verge of victory, and the darkest hour is just before dawn.

Be encouraged....Dan

 

[Walosi]

LtDan:

We just about had him on the ropes and out the denial stage, and you had to hit him with a pile of encouragement. Personal responsibility is a great virtue in most instances, but when facing up to your latest HI purchase against SWMBO, when you've already promised her "last one this year" on the last two (or three) you really need a crutch. SWMBOs understand the need for medical treatment, so this approach softens the first blow from the cast-iron skillet/rolling pin. In addition, there is always the possibility that you may infect your Dr., and make arrangements to split the insurance payment to sock away for your next Khuk (s). Jim's SWMBO obviously trusts him,and admires his nobility in the research (hah!) he has embarked upon. Others of us have mates who know us better. Gee, I hope mine doesn't read your post.