I Hate Southern California

[cj65]

I understand why so many forumites hate So. Cal. I am one of them. I am fed up. I understand why you want to leave as well as not visit here. It was over 90 degrees in the valley, so we have to drive 40 miles through Malibu canyon over the Santa Monica mountains to get relief. It is amazing we made it alive, and did not careen into those steep canyons. I mean come on, who wants sunny weekends in November for Pete's sake?
So, we get to the beach, and I get what I expected.....
Crime, homelessness, hunger, violence, disrespect, theft, danger, lawlessness, apathy, creepyness, parasites, strife, angst, general uneasiness, and black market dealings.....you name it, So Cal has it.......I will prove it with my pictures from today....
I think it was Icharus, the greek freaky bird attacked, and then summoned his minions.

I frightened them away by showing them my hairy white belly. The gleam confused them and put them on the run.

Next, some clown dropped this waiting to prank me. I thought it was a hot pepper, but it tasted like salt and sand, and the texture was bad.

So after I spit that out, I remembered to get my trusty Case stainless doctor knife to avoid corrosion. I needed some seltzer water with lime to get the bad taste out.

I thought I could relax, but then I heard my dear Carlie scream with fright, it seems she was attacked by flesh eating sea weed! You cannot tell me that the government is not behind this.

So, daddy sprung into action to save her!!!!!!
Now back to the camp to find this

 

[cj65]

My wife was horrified!

You can see how uneasy she is. I am still not sure that Carlie and her were not pulling a fast one.
I settled back into my chair and surveyed my area. Look at all that sand, it is so sandy, it gets everywhere, even in the crack of your.......folding chair.

I look behind me, oh great, a trailer park! Will it end?

So, my wife asks me for a knife to cut bread....OK, I get her out my grip. I thought she was going to cut bread only..... not spread Ranch Dip!!! Is this covered under warranty? Shoud I do a review? Is this as bad as batoning a traditional slipjoint?

I cleaned off my knife, took a deep breath, and prepped another stiff seltzer water. I needed to take the edge off. As I sliced the lime, I recall that they are locally grown. How in tarnation am I gonna get cultured if I can't taste fruit grown outside my own home state! I hate California! I might as well be a North Korean, being so isolated and all.

Just then, a fight breaks out on the shore line. I thought I was going to get some rest............

 

[cj65]

The carnage. War! What is it good for?

Apparantly, it stimulates the economy.......

This reminds me of the good times, the Ronald Reagan era....a booming defense economy.
So, seeing the illegal munitions production and profiteering was being surveiled by the man,

I tell the kids to declare a treaty, it could be a temporary, ineffectual one, "Just play like you are the United Nations" CJ sez.

So, I now tell the children, "Go out and swim, it is safe."

 

[cj65]

From all of the news I keep hearing, the seas have no more creatures in them, so thank God the children will be safe.

While watching the kids swim without threat from nature.....My heart sank out to these strange sand eating birds, they ran frantically just to get a bite of sand when the water line receded. Hunger is so tragic.

The homeless seemed willing to plop down just about anywhere.

I always told the missus, if I were homeless, I would live on the coast too, I mean, WHY NOT

 

[one45auto]

Bah, sunshine and sand are highly overrated.....you dear sir should be over here on the East Coast enjoying the uniformly gray skies (with no discernable clouds, mind you) and reveling in the damp air and misty rain, with shed leaves wetly clinging to your shoes and wondering just how long you can hold out before having to turn on your heater so you can hand over a sizable portion of your take home pay to a utility company which gleefully tacks on a $47 “gas handling charge” each year during the coldest months and eagerly raised prices in anticipation of a shortage last fall even though the newspapers ran endless stories stating there was no shortage…..

 

[cj65]

Bah, sunshine and sand are highly overrated.....you dear sir should be over here on the East Coast enjoying the uniformly gray skies (with no discernable clouds, mind you) and reveling in the damp air and misty rain, with shed leaves wetly clinging to your shoes and wondering just how long you can hold out before having to turn on your heater so you can hand over a sizable portion of your take home pay to a utility company which gleefully tacks on a $47 “gas handling charge” each year during the coldest months and eagerly raised prices in anticipation of a shortage last fall even though the newspapers ran endless stories stating there was no shortage…..

Hey, at least you have someone to handle your gas, I would gladly pay for someone to handle the gas of 4 pre teen boys.

 

[cj65]

Just when I thought I had seen everything, then this character came into view.......center of pic.

A blatant scofflaw. I know for a fact, this one had no fishing license........ This kind of disrespect for fish and game rules really chaps my hide. He swallowed that fish whole, smacking it on the water surface a couple of times prior to gulping. I caught it really nice in my binocs.

I bet you he is a Canadian!
My wife was thrilled with the wild life action......

Just then, I felt sick to my stomach, there was this goon with a funny hat and binoculars, checking out my wife.

Oh wait, that is just me CJ65.....

My wife and I met at Will Rogers State beach 5 yrs. ago* (minus 1 week). The weather was just like this. We thought we would see if it is as charming as it used to be,.....maybe even more now that we are married. If any of you forumites are snowed in, head west and hang out with CJ for awhile.
Thanks for looking!

 

[The Government]

LOL. Accept for most of the people/ urbanization - California is a really nice place. And I just want to let you know that I was not behind the seaweed thing.

As for the east coast, just drive up to Oregon, its close enoughfoot.

 

[SharpByCoop]

That was a great read and fun photos with the kids. Thanks for the smiles.

Coop

 

[T.K.C.]

I really miss So. Cal. We are moving back in a year or so. We are looking at OC to San Diego. I am personally wanting to live down in SD. Thanks for the great pix!!!

 

[cj65]

I really miss So. Cal. We are moving back in a year or so. We are looking at OC to San Diego. I am personally wanting to live down in SD. Thanks for the great pix!!!

TK,
Not to give out the secret, but it is all about the 805 area code. Although these photos are in (North) L.A. Co. if you cruise up past Malibu, and then hit the Ventura beaches, there are few crowds, and you can even enjoy Memorial Day arriving late and still find a parking spot at the beach. I grew up in San Gabriel Valley, so Newport and Huntington were the closest beaches. It is so much cleaner and nicer up here. Hope you make the move.

 

[Tostig]

Great pictorial story bro ! Made me laugh and smile.



Come to my neck of the woods , we have Fall weather here !

Tostig

 

[cj65]

I would like to have a real fall and winter, but you have to roll with the punches. Thanks for the kind words. I had fun taking the photos, my wife was nervous that I would embarass her. I think I do that by default. She actually had the camera while the sea lion chased down that fish, she gets credit for that photo.

 

[T.K.C.]

TK,
Not to give out the secret, but it is all about the 805 area code. Although these photos are in (North) L.A. Co. if you cruise up past Malibu, and then hit the Ventura beaches, there are few crowds, and you can even enjoy Memorial Day arriving late and still find a parking spot at the beach. I grew up in San Gabriel Valley, so Newport and Huntington were the closest beaches. It is so much cleaner and nicer up here. Hope you make the move.

I used to live in So. Cal. I want to live in either Orange County or San Diego.; those are the area we are looking at. MY preference is SD.

I used to live in San Gabriel, when I first lived in CA. Then I moved to West Covina.

 

[cj65]

I used to live in So. Cal. I want to live in either Orange County or San Diego.; those are the area we are looking at. MY preference is SD.

I used to live in San Gabriel, when I first lived in CA. Then I moved to West Covina.

Grew up just south of that in Hacienda Heights.

 

[cgmblade]

That's a rough life you have out there. I feel your pain.

 

[knarfeng]

I really miss So. Cal. We are moving back in a year or so. We are looking at OC to San Diego. I am personally wanting to live down in SD. Thanks for the great pix!!!

And San Diego would be proud to have you, Suz.

Chris, nice shots! While I wish it would rain and stop the drought, it surely has been pretty. Makes it hard to go to work.

 

[knarfeng]

I used to live in So. Cal. I want to live in either Orange County or San Diego.; those are the area we are looking at. MY preference is SD.

I used to live in San Gabriel, when I first lived in CA. Then I moved to West Covina.

I grew up in La Canada.
Went to college in Pomona.
Lived in
Pasadena
Rowland Heights
Clairemont
Covina,
West Covina
Monrovia
Azusa
Alhambra
San Dimas

I like San Diego better.

 

[Centaur]

If you find yourself on the 405 in Culver City, and fancy a good pastrami, the word is Johnny's.

 

[T.K.C.]

If you find yourself on the 405 in Culver City, and fancy a good pastrami, the word is Johnny's.

That is good to know!!!