I have a funny feeling I'm getting dumped.

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Thank you Josh. That's the first time that I can remember being told it went over well. Other than the convention, and while doing the delivery my brain pulled it's usual trick of going out to lunch and not showing back up til the next morning. Delighted to hear that.

Everything I've learned on khuks was on this forum or from other forumites. I'm in awe of what some other forumites know. That's a darned good reason for me always telling the absolute truth as I understand it here.
 
Yah, that's right- and you didn't mention calling her number and hanging up when she answers isn't very productive, either.

edit- Rusty, just saw your post- you always speak well. I admire you.

munk
 
Oh filthy,
Do I have the answer for you, buddy!

I didnt even kiss a girl till I was 22.


Anyway, here is the secret to success with women:
Demystify, demystify, demystify.

Go get some money, go get one of those "newspapers" they have in clubs and condom shops, and get yourself a call girl.

Thats right, pay a cute girl to have sex with you. Be brave and just do it. More than likely she will be younger than you, so dont be afraid.

Buddy, I did it myself when I was about 26. The next day I was a different man. After that, I pretty much had any female I was intent upon having.
There is something magical in the act of buying sex.
From that day on you can say to yourself "hmm, do I spend 300$ on this girl getting her into bed or do I call my favorite and spend 150$ for a guaranteed blowout?"

Now, I only did it once, but the change in attitude in you will be something the girls will "smell" and it will change their attitude towards you in an instant.

Make the call, dude.
 
Danny--That is definitely not a run-of-the-mill answer :D

Rusty--my wife agrees that your presentation was one of the highpoints of the convention. Your collection has some amazing khukuris, and I learned quite a bit from you that day; it was like an HI history lesson in steel. I especially liked the handle modifications you've made to some of your khuks. I'd generally not thin down the handles of mine because I've got pretty big hands, but I really enjoyed seeing how you had modified and personalized your khukuris.

Sorry for the thread drift.

Philthy--I've thought about your situation a few times today. I wish I knew what to say, but everything that comes to my mind just sounds like a platitude. Hang in there!
--Josh

--Josh
 
While no Don Juan, I think that I managed to do well enough for myself.

But this thread has to be the best "being" advice I think I've ever heard in one spot that someone wasn't charging for!

I just sent out a link to several younger friends of mine. Maybe it'll help some of them.


DIJ, Wow! No no no Double WOW!!

Munk, I also skipped tell her friends that she was gay, or hated them, or that she was really an FBI spy, or a DEA narc. :footinmou

I didn't mention that the best solution is to doctor her shampoo with nair. :footinmou

I skipped several other things that were even more entertaining...

You guys must be rubbing off on me. :D
 
I had a friend who would chew two packs of Beech-nut tobacco a day but couldn't find a girlfriend. We went to a local country store that sold snuff and asked the owner if she knew any pretty girls who dipped and she said she knew several. My buddy managed to get an introduction and they've been happily married for over 40 years. :D

I had another friend a rather homely fella,who made a great salary who was always giving gals a ride home when the bars closed, but never got invited in. I recommended the the next time that he put his pay stub over the passengers windshield visor and leave several inches of it hanging out so anyone could see it easily. Then on the way to her house stop by a 7-11 for a pack of cigereets giving her plenty of time to peek at that pay stub. A month or so later I noticed that he was looking really weak and bedraggled and I asked him what was wrong. He said that he was now sleeping with 5 different women and the pace was killing him. He said that one of the gals had told her best friend about his salary and his phone was ringing off the hook. :D

Moral of the story I suppose is : be careful what you wish for and getting "dumped" may not be such a terrible thing for awhile. :D
 
I usually don't reply to personal problems but this one touched a nerve.
You "think you'll end it"? Bull...end it! Walk away from her. She's shallow, self centered, and heartless. 5-9" and 195 is "fat"?...Out of shape maybe...Is she playmate material herself?
Together for 4 months and making out but no sex and you're a "sex fiend"...that's a joke.

Overall it sounds like she's got a bus load of problems of her own.
I went to your homepage...you appear to be intelligent and clean cut. You have definite skills in photography and an enthusiasm for your profession. Use that as a springboard to get out there and meet people. Note I said "people" not just girls. That will help with your shyness and confidence. There's also the chance someone will introduce you to some one who knows someone that might be right for you. Also if you are known on any other boards than this one as P.G. do youself a favor and change your handle. We know and accept you here with that handle...but we are just a bunch of knife loving guys who love a good goat jokes. :)
 
Phil- I'd end it on her terms. If she wanted to try a real relationship I would skeptically listen, anyway. But remember what I said about dashed hopes.

I've a friend who owns a boat, a beachfront home in the Puget Sound, an independent income, and has a job fitting the rural area he always wanted to live in. He is in various dating services and reports this:

The women 30 to 45 all want incomes 5 times their own. They demand a man who is at least 5'10" and good looking. They have the "gold plated pussy' complex, and often are carrying several kids as part of the deal. My friend is 5' 7" I think, I'm not really sure, as I don't think of people by height. (unless it's Rusty, of course- just kidding!!!!)

He refuses to list his income. He could accept kids, but is afraid the golddiggers will find him. He is also not dating. His new plan is to volunteer for a local election group, hopefully meeting people.

munk
 
Thanks for everything guys. From my heart. I notice that there are a lot of new names around since I posted here all the time, but the older ones are still here, and the atmosphere hasn't changed a bit: the people here could lead humanity into the future.

She cried in my arms last night and told me how sorry she was that she had said those things the night before. She thinks we are back on again, so I didn't mess with that.

Instead I told her about all the wonderful things that would happen to her if she kicked ass and completed her degree.

For me, IF this is to go absolutely anywhere, she is going to have to proclaim my name to the heavens as the man she wants to be with, and has to tell her friends to go suck an egg. She is also going to have to admit she can't mold me to whatever fanciful Phil concept she's got.

Also, if there is no sexual attraction, and she keeps me at hand-holding distance, then we really are just friends. As friends, she will have to pay her own way, and I get to date other people. In fact, right now I only think of her as a friend, since she doesn't seem to want the intimacy part.

I'm looking for indications that her attitudes have changed. I'm ready to dump her to the 'friend' level right now. I'm tired of her crap: she has one chance to make this right. I have a sneaking suspicion that she thinks she now has all the control in the relationship, and I'll do whatever she wants. What she doesn't know is that she is going to get her ass dumped at the first sign of any manipulation.

In summary:
1. Above all, she will respect me.
2. She can't hide me any more, regardless.
3. If she doesn't want me physically, then we are friends, not lovers.
4. She will not try to make me into something her friends might like.
5. She will like me unconditionally.

If one of these is not met, she is toast.
 
Hello PG,

It is a bit strange to respond to such a private thing from over the atlantic but you should know someone from here wants to help just a little bit too.

Think about the man you think you need to be.
Think about the man you are.

do it several times a week and then be yourself.

Try not to be a mystery to others and be relieable. That is a rare kind of people and a valuable.
I think I know your type. It takes time to get to know someone like you - and it "pays" because the one who does discover you has a very close, very valuable man as a friend/partner. There is something good and difficult about this:
The girl/woman who will be lucky in the end will have to "invest" first. She will only know she is right, when she has "worked" her way through - but not before. - So I think you know that in a serious partnership patience and time - sometimes even distance (in the first time of knowing each other, writing letters, mails etc.) is necessary. You and she will think over it and wonder if you are "the" one. You will do the same.
I got to know my wife at the Bavarian championships in Munich - we lived 80 kms apart. We met again a week later - again in Munich (300 km away from our homes) and then we did not meet until 8 months later. We wrote letters every second day - and we feeled that the love grew - but we would not tell each other until about a year later. We found out a lot in the time we were separated, and we were sure we would marry, when we finally confessed our love. We did. The basis of this partnership is: knowing each other really deeply, the belief in god, the common interrest in sport and some other things that result in - love.

You cannot do it, it has to grow.
I wish you the best and - if you do not mind - pray that things will work out for you.

Andreas
 
There used to be an add in the comic books, between the "Charles Atlas sand in the face ad" and the "X-Ray glasses" add. It was for a book called "How To Get Along With Girls". It cost a dollar and would come to your house in a plain envelope so nobody would know know you bought it.

It was about as useful as the X-Ray glasses. It told "secrets" like that girls would like you if you brushed your teeth, combed your hair, and didn't swear.

Those are all good social skills but they don't help a 12 year old kid to get laid. What finally worked is when I got to be 16 and bought a car. My 1950 Plymouth, a DA haircut, and a gold pocket watch chain turned me into one cool stud.
 
philthygeezer said:
She cried in my arms last night and told me how sorry she was that she had said those things the night before. She thinks we are back on again, so I didn't mess with that.

Instead I told her about all the wonderful things that would happen to her if she kicked ass and completed her degree.

For me, IF this is to go absolutely anywhere, she is going to have to proclaim my name to the heavens as the man she wants to be with, and has to tell her friends to go suck an egg. She is also going to have to admit she can't mold me to whatever fanciful Phil concept she's got.

Also, if there is no sexual attraction, and she keeps me at hand-holding distance, then we really are just friends. As friends, she will have to pay her own way, and I get to date other people. In fact, right now I only think of her as a friend, since she doesn't seem to want the intimacy part.

I'm looking for indications that her attitudes have changed. I'm ready to dump her to the 'friend' level right now. I'm tired of her crap: she has one chance to make this right. I have a sneaking suspicion that she thinks she now has all the control in the relationship, and I'll do whatever she wants. What she doesn't know is that she is going to get her ass dumped at the first sign of any manipulation.

In summary:
1. Above all, she will respect me.
2. She can't hide me any more, regardless.
3. If she doesn't want me physically, then we are friends, not lovers.
4. She will not try to make me into something her friends might like.
5. She will like me unconditionally.

If one of these is not met, she is toast.
Click to expand...

Being supportive friend is something that everyone finds valuable.

If you think that you will find a mate that doesn't have some "improvement ideas" for you, I think you are going to be disappointed.


Other than that good show. Just dont' call her toast.
 
for instance, 45/70's female interest attempted to change him into a 30/30, which he steadfastedly refused to do.


Phil- I wouldn't bank on protestations of respect and love. Respect yourself- she'll see that.


munk
 
LOL

No but all though it is the pot calling tbe kettle black, she does harp constantly on me loosing weight.

I quit smoking to make her happy.

I quit chasing other skirts.

I think giving up two things is enough for a relationship

Don't you?
 
Quitting smoking! Good job. That took a lot. I'm impressed.

I weigh 185 pounds and used to be 5'11.5"- it appears I've lost an inch due to spinal problems and I'm now 5'10.5" I need to lose 10 pounds.

(men under 6' usually record their height with every last half inch they can muster...)



munk
 
Phil, the honesty you showed impressed me very much. For what it's worth, you've been raised in the interior of munk's celestial order of things, people and events.



munk
 
My first real girlfriend broke up with me like this...slept with three of my "friends", tried to beat me up when she was drunk and smashed my windshield. I'm not trying to belittle your pain, just saying "I hear you". There are some cool, down to earth women out there (even here in CA). They're not all shallow and self-centered. I wish I could add some words of wisdom that haven't been said already. But truth be told I was the late bloomer, the shy one, myself. So maybe I'm not the best guy to dole out relationship advice. The Mrs. and I met through mutual friends and one thing lead to another. But I couldn't honestly tell you what happened, step by step. We just clicked. Wish I had better words than "Hang in there".

Frank
 
munk said:
Yah, that's right- and you didn't mention calling her number and hanging up when she answers isn't very productive, either.

edit- Rusty, just saw your post- you always speak well. I admire you.

munk
Click to expand...

Someone once said, "The best revenge is living well."

I think that is true, but sometimes the more vindictive side of me wants a more active level of revenge (LOL).

Don
 
shappa said:
Overall it sounds like she's got a bus load of problems of her own.
I went to your homepage...you appear to be intelligent and clean cut. You have definite skills in photography and an enthusiasm for your profession. Use that as a springboard to get out there and meet people. Note I said "people" not just girls. That will help with your shyness and confidence. There's also the chance someone will introduce you to some one who knows someone that might be right for you. Also if you are known on any other boards than this one as P.G. do youself a favor and change your handle. We know and accept you here with that handle...but we are just a bunch of knife loving guys who love a good goat jokes. :)
Click to expand...

Shappa said best. I hinted at it, be he (she?) said it right on - your soon to be former ladyfriend has a lot of "issues", and, amigo, life's too short, and there're too many great ladies out there who don't have issues. You'll be a happier man because of it.

By the way, did I say never date a girl you wouldn't marry? Naturally you need to date them at least a few times to see where their head is at on such things as abortion, family size, raising kids, and other value systems. But by the time you start seeing areas where you aren't a good match, or where she starts exhibiting odd, or controlling or manipulative behaviors, then that's the time to cut it clean and find another lady.

Don
 
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