If I leave negative feedback, can the other party do the same for spite?

Macchina

Macchina

Feedback: +91 / =0 / -0
Joined
Apr 7, 2006
Messages
5,215
Hello,
Last week I entered into a trade where we agreed to ship on Friday (Priority Mail with tracking). I shipped on Friday and my knives arrived at his house yesterday. As of right now he still has not shipped. He fed me some speel about the knife wasn't at his storage box, etc., not my problem. He now has both my knives and the knife he was supposed to send me: nobody likes being in this position.

He is a gold member with 2 positive feedbacks, but I think this is unacceptable and I am planning on leaving my first negative feedback if he ever ends up shipping the knife. My question is: can he leave me negative feedback if I leave him negative feedback just to spite me? I shipped on time and followed our written agreement to the letter and want to warn others who are deciding whether or not to trade with him.
 
i wouldnt worry since you held up your end of the deal and have 20 positive feedbacks and 0 negative. has he logged in since you last heard from him? you might save someone from getting ripped off by this person if that is what he is out to do.
 
if he ships today, then its a matter of 2 or 3 business days. Id be frustrated but wouldnt leave a neg. Id just put him on ignore after you get yours. Maybe a neutral at worse.
 
State your facts. He also has the right to state the facts as he sees them. But no, you don't get a preemptive strike and then get to keep him from responding.
 
on_the_edge said:
State your facts. He also has the right to state the facts as he sees them. But no, you don't get a preemptive strike and then get to keep him from responding.
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The facts are:

We both agreed to ship both on Friday. He didn't ship and didn't say anything. When I contacted him on Saturday to see if he shipped, he told me he couldn't find the box, then he couldn't make it the post office on time. He told me he would ship on Monday and send me the tracking number. It's Tuesday and I haven't heard from him and he hasn't responded to my email I sent today to see what's up. He last logged in today at 10:37am to (ironically) update his trade thread that his knife has been traded...
 
michaelmcgo said:
The facts are:

We both agreed to ship both on Friday. He didn't ship and didn't say anything. When I contacted him on Saturday to see if he shipped, he told me he couldn't find the box, then he couldn't make it the post office on time. He told me he would ship on Monday and send me the tracking number. It's Tuesday and I haven't heard from him and he hasn't responded to my email I sent today to see what's up. He last logged in today at 10:37am to (ironically) update his trade thread that his knife has been traded...
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Ok, so far, it does not appear that he is the most communicative fellow. Since you are the only one who knows his identity, have you notified him of the existence of this thread? He might be a little more motivated to respond when he knows folks are paying attention.
 
Well, he shipped today... after 5... meaning it won't be in the mail until tomorrow and I'll be lucky to get it on Friday which is the last day I will be able to check the mail for a week because I'll be out of town.

Because he shipped it and apologized, I think I'll leave him a neutral. Kinda funny how his excuses were working extra hours and working on moving: The exact situation I'm in right now!
 
All's well that ends well???? It could be worse, he could have not shipped at all... ;)

Maybe, his reason for delay was legit. Stuff does happen sometimes. :)
Maybe, on the other hand; he is just a slacker: burdened by procrastination.

I guess you'll just have to leave whatever "feedback" you feel comfortable with.
 
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This is exactly why I never leave negative feedback (anywhere, especially ebay). It isn't worth the hassle. If I have a bad trade, the only way the casual observer would ever know it is from the LACK of feedback. Most of the folks around here, luckily, are quite reputable. I basically shy away from doing business with fellow forumites who've been a registered member less than a year (or has very few posts). I also try not to buy from anyone that has the vast majority of his posts in the sale forum.

Leaving negative feedback just isn't worth the trauma. Try to exhaust every avenue without having to resort to this. I wouldn't even recommend the neutral feedback. Wait and see what comes in the mail. You may be reacting a little on the premature side. Good luck with this. Cheers.
 
Harry Callahan said:
This is exactly why I never leave negative feedback (anywhere, especially ebay). It isn't worth the hassle. If I have a bad trade, the only way the casual observer would ever know it is from the LACK of feedback. Most of the folks around here, luckily, are quite reputable. I basically shy away from doing business with fellow forumites who've been a registered member less than a year (or has very few posts). I also try not to buy from anyone that has the vast majority of his posts in the sale forum.

Leaving negative feedback just isn't worth the trauma. Try to exhaust every avenue without having to resort to this. I wouldn't even recommend the neutral feedback. Wait and see what comes in the mail. You may be reacting a little on the premature side. Good luck with this. Cheers.
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Looks like we feel the exact same way. I am starting to look at rating systems as a general way to see how many trades a member makes, not how well those trades went. Unless something goes really wrong, a member does not get a negative. I think I will leave neutral feedback and be done with it. Thanks for the advice.
 
If you decide to trade with someone with so little feedback in the future, you might consider asking them to ship first. I think that will be my policy in the future.
 
michaelmcgo said:
...we agreed to ship on Friday...with tracking.

I shipped on Friday...he still has not shipped. (4 days after he AGREED to ship and he has still not shipped...)

He didn't ship on Friday and didn't say anything...Saturday he told me he couldn't find the box, then he couldn't make it the post office on time.

He told me he would ship on Monday...It's Tuesday and I haven't heard from him and he hasn't responded to my email

He fed me some speel about the knife wasn't at his storage box... Agrees to ship on Friday but on the following Tuesday says the knife is not in his "storage box."

Well, he shipped today... after 5... meaning it won't be in the mail until tomorrow
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Hope it really is shipped. Hope he gave you some sort of tracking info with which you can verify that it was actually shipped (as he originally agreed). I did not see a post from you indicating that you had verified that it was shipped.

I think of Feedback as an obligation I have as a member of this community that allows it to police itself and run smoothly.

Might you have appreciated it if, when you checked his feedback, this person had a third feedback post from someone describing a trade experience with this person where he agreed to ship on Friday but didn't ship and didn't contact the other person, then said he couldn't find the box, then said he couldn't make it to the Post Office, then said he would ship on Monday but didn't ship and didn't contact the other party, then ignored the other person's email even while going online to the forum to update his thread, then said he shipped Tuesday but it was after 5pm? Maybe you would have changed the way you dealt with him if you knew how he behaved in one of his trades?

How would you feel if, having made this post, a couple of members chimed in saying, "Oh, yeah, the same guy did the same thing to me, but I never posted any feedback about it?" Might you feel that those members should have posted their experiences so the rest of the BF community--and you--could benefit from them?

I think it is especially important to post accurate, truthful feedback for newer members or members with very low feedback.

I am not encouraging anyone to bash a member, but your fellow BF members have a right to rely on each other to honestly report their dealings.
 
IamMatt said:
Hope it really is shipped. Hope he gave you some sort of tracking info with which you can verify that it was actually shipped (as he originally agreed). I did not see a post from you indicating that you had verified that it was shipped.

I think of Feedback as an obligation I have as a member of this community that allows it to police itself and run smoothly.

Might you have appreciated it if, when you checked his feedback, this person had a third feedback post from someone describing a trade experience with this person where he agreed to ship on Friday but didn't ship and didn't contact the other person, then said he couldn't find the box, then said he couldn't make it to the Post Office, then said he would ship on Monday but didn't ship and didn't contact the other party, then ignored the other person's email even while going online to the forum to update his thread, then said he shipped Tuesday but it was after 5pm? Maybe you would have changed the way you dealt with him if you knew how he behaved in one of his trades?

How would you feel if, having made this post, a couple of members chimed in saying, "Oh, yeah, the same guy did the same thing to me, but I never posted any feedback about it?" Might you feel that those members should have posted their experiences so the rest of the BF community--and you--could benefit from them?

I think it is especially important to post accurate, truthful feedback for newer members or members with very low feedback.

I am not encouraging anyone to bash a member, but your fellow BF members have a right to rely on each other to honestly report their dealings.
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He shipped, but even though he was 5 days late he used First Class Mail (I mailed his to him via Priority which he received 2 days before mine ever went out). The tracking number says it's waiting at home for me.
 
michaelmcgo said:
He shipped, but even though he was 5 days late he used First Class Mail (I mailed his to him via Priority which he received 2 days before mine ever went out). The tracking number says it's waiting at home for me.
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Excellent, glad it worked out. :thumbup: :)

Now, if it got delivered to the right address and nobody steals it before you get home; your good to go. ;)
 
I'm glad that it all worked out. I absolutely hate situations like this. A while back I had the same thing happen to me except the member excused himself by saying "Sorry I don't get to the post office very often". To make things that much worse he tryed changing the price on me, higher! He posted his for sale add with the knife priced at $150, two people claimed it, me being the first, and then he edited his post with a price increase!! I about blew my lid. I asked him what the hell he was thinking to do such a thing he said in a smart tone "I could have just reposted the thread with a new price". Then it took him a week to get the knife in the mail. I really wanted to tell him to shove that knife but it was a good price on a like new in box mini Skirmish.

Rant over... I feel for you bra!
 
If I've been shorted or screwed, I'm leaving negative feedback and let the chips fall where they may. I pay on time, usually within 24 hours maximum, and I ship the next day after receiving good funds. If someone wants to leave me bad feedback, so be it.
Some sites allow the other party to reply, some don't.

Let me hasten to add that in this case, if you get the knives and they are as described, I'd almost certainly leave neutral, not negative, feedback. The fact remains, the other party didn't do what he said he'd do on time and when he did do it, he used a different form of shipping than agreed. His word may not be bad, after all, stuff happens, but it ain't all that good IMO.

Personally, I've infrequently missing mailing a payment on the day I said (I do have some excuse, it's 25 mi RT to post office if I miss the mail run and I've got a ranch to run which doesn't always coincide with post office hours) and I always email the seller that I'm running late but that it will go out the next day without fail. In any deal, large or small, communication goes a very long way, when one party clams up, you know you're in trouble.
 
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Harry Callahan said:
This is exactly why I never leave negative feedback (anywhere, especially ebay). It isn't worth the hassle. If I have a bad trade, the only way the casual observer would ever know it is from the LACK of feedback. Most of the folks around here, luckily, are quite reputable. I basically shy away from doing business with fellow forumites who've been a registered member less than a year (or has very few posts). I also try not to buy from anyone that has the vast majority of his posts in the sale forum.

Leaving negative feedback just isn't worth the trauma. Try to exhaust every avenue without having to resort to this. I wouldn't even recommend the neutral feedback. Wait and see what comes in the mail. You may be reacting a little on the premature side. Good luck with this. Cheers.
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This is where I get hung up. I recently entered into a deal with a well regarded member here, where he was going to buy a knife from me. He said in a PM he'd take it and would appreciate it if I held the knife for a few days before he sent the funds. I figured that was okay, since that very week I had made a similar request from another member. The difference is that I sent funds for my knife the day I said I would (USPS Priority), but the guy buying from me never sent payment. What's worse, he flat out blew me off and never sent an email or tried to communicate via PMs. Not a word for eight days until I sent him a PM and asked where the money was. I quickly followed up with another one that said if you haven't already sent payment, don't bother, and that in fact I'd prefer he not. I never heard another word from him and although he has since been on BFC, I have yet to hear a word from the guy.

So where leaving negative feedback is a hassle and I've never done it in the past, don't we in fact have a responsibility to other members to make them aware of this type of dealing? In all the years I've been here and with all the dealing I've done, I've had three deals that didn't go smoothly: this most recent one, another one a few years ago, and last, one about 6-7 years ago with the same guy who stiffed me on this most recent deal! I know, dog bites you once, shame on the dog. Dog bites you again, shame on you...:grumpy:
 
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