If Knife Brands Were Cars

K

Knife Writer

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Sep 12, 2023
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I am fairly new to the pocketknife world and have been learning about blade steel metallurgy and knife brands. To make it interesting, I recently had a conversation with a friend in which we described a knife brand as a car brand. Some correlations were funny, some were ironic, and some were spot-on. Here was the list we came up with. How would you change it? Make it better? What would you add? Let me know! Thanks!

Spyderco = Audi (nice enough, but not quite top tier)
Benchmade = Cadillac (overly pricey but not worth as much as they think)
Medford = Tesla (comparing the owners, actually, and each comparison is an insult to the other)
Chris Reeve = BMW (very nice, old brand, a lot of fun to use, but not truly stellar)
Midgards Messer = Hummer (legit)
Cold Steel = Ram (tough, rugged, and on rare occasion, mildly interesting)
Boker = Trabant (Ugh. Just ugh.)
Opinel = Citroen (snoozers)
Microtech = Corvette (fast, powerful, and distinctly American)
Mora = Yugo (cheap, cheap, cheap)
Viper = Alfa Romeo (an under-estimated, Italian high performer)
Civivi = Toyota (reliable, steady, but not too exciting)
Shiragorov = Lamborghini (enough said)
Buck = Jeep (it's old and very blah)
Victorinox = Suzuki (ho hum and uninspiring)
Rockstead = McLaren (nimble, shiny, gorgeous)
CRKT = Chevy (meh)
Rike = Rivian (creative, new thinking makes things exciting)
ESEE = Subaru (outdoors, anyone?)
Ontario = Saturn (gone, long gone)
Smith & Wesson = Lada (groan)
 
el gigantor said:
You say you're new to the knife world but have made this many confidently-worded comparisons (most of which I'd disagree with) suggesting a vast knowledge of pocket knife brands?

What a strange post!
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I'm not a kid. A long life leads to a lot of passive information gathering. But until mid-2023, I was not collecting knives or learning about the hobby. But since then, I have done a lot of reading! I follow KnifeSteelNerds, watch a lot of the KnifeTubers' video content, and have learned a lot in that time. I'm a quick study, I guess! I only came across Larrin Thomas less than a year ago... But perhaps it's true - I'm strange. 🤔
 
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Knife Writer said:
Opinel = Citroen (snoozers)
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Peugeot 601 Eclipse - peasant knives being the first folder style ever invented.
Knife Writer said:
Mora = Yugo (cheap, cheap, cheap)
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The Volkswagen Beetle - reasonable quality made affordable to the masses.
Knife Writer said:
Victorinox = Suzuki (ho hum and uninspiring)
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Willys Jeep - Jack of all trades, Spartan and practical. Typifies the multi tool.

I know this isn’t meant to be taken seriously, but if there was a hall of fame for knives, these three would unequivocally have dedicated space. To gloss over these and write them off as hum-drum demonstrates a lack of appreciation.

My carry knives are often at least one of not two of these options every day. Microtech and whatever else might be fancier, but they are mere infants compared to the longevity of these three famous brands.
 
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I think knives and cars are too different to make halfway decent comparisons, and the stereotypes in each hobby don't correlate at all. A lot of the critiques about car brands have to do with reliability, which isn't really an issue with knives. And what would be considered a "soccer mom knife?" Or a "mall ninja car?"

You'd have better luck coming up with watch brands that have similarities to knife brands.
 
Tsujigiri said:
I think knives and cars are too different to make halfway decent comparisons, and the stereotypes in each hobby don't correlate at all. A lot of the critiques about car brands have to do with reliability, which isn't really an issue with knives. And what would be considered a "soccer mom knife?"
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Tsujigiri said:
Or a "mall ninja car?"
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76D19282-454D-47E1-910D-90807C038567.jpeg
 
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