If only Busse made relationship advice as well as the best knives in the world..

I am on year 21 so take it for what it is worth...

The older I have gotten the more convinced I am ther is no "the" one.

I love my wife but if I had gone to college in another town there would have been a different "the" one. And had I gone to school in Zimbabwe there would have been a completely different "the one."

Do what you can, make it work if you can but another situation will lead to a different "the one."

If I had gone to college in Moscow I would never have met my wife but surely I would have found someone. Just make sure the person/situation are as conducive to success as possible.

Is she from your faith community?
Does she like what you like?
Are her parents divorced, does she actually know how to conduct a successful relationship?
Do you? (Sorry bud, not trying to be offensive)
Plenty of things have gotten in our way but so far we are equally committed and I think that is important,...if you are both willing to bail after your first fight then cool,...but if there is ever a discrepancy THAT is when there is a problem.

She wants to leave after year 3 and you are in for the long haul,... You are done after year 10 and we was thinking things were lifetime....

Some stuff to think about.

I wish you the best of luck!
 
theaggregate said:
I am on year 21 so take it for what it is worth...

The older I have gotten the more convinced I am ther is no "the" one.

I love my wife but if I had gone to college in another town there would have been a different "the" one. And had I gone to school in Zimbabwe there would have been a completely different "the one."

Do what you can, make it work if you can but another situation will lead to a different "the one."

If I had gone to college in Moscow I would never have met my wife but surely I would have found someone. Just make sure the person/situation are as conducive to success as possible.

Is she from your faith community?
Does she like what you like?
Are her parents divorced, does she actually know how to conduct a successful relationship?
Do you? (Sorry bud, not trying to be offensive)
Plenty of things have gotten in our way but so far we are equally committed and I think that is important,...if you are both willing to bail after your first fight then cool,...but if there is ever a discrepancy THAT is when there is a problem.

She wants to leave after year 3 and you are in for the long haul,... You are done after year 10 and we was thinking things were lifetime....

Some stuff to think about.

I wish you the best of luck!
Click to expand...


We are both atheists (no offence to any Christians here...I respect your right to beleive in whatever you wish).

We do have a lot in common in terms of tastes.

Her parents are not divorced, her mum is a successful business woman, her dad is a barrister (lawyer).

We know the theory of a proper relationship, we need some actual practice, i'll give you that. We have to learn on the job I guess.

She admitted to me that she expects me to leave her (due to her age and the fact that I'm taking on her kids). The fact is we are both insecure, and I'm fairly certain that only the passage of time can resolve that - the reassurance of a track record, if you will.
 
Lots of good advice on this thread we have some wise hogs on this forum.

I've been with my wife since I was 18. 28 years old now. We've been through all the ups and downs of figuring each other out
from a young age and learning who we are. Luckily it worked out and we've been married for 3 years and I can't even imagine
being with any other woman EVER.

Life can be messy and I can't add onto all the other great advice already given but I do wish the best for both of you.

Squash the jealousy and insecurities though just not worth it.
 
I was driving home tonight, listening to Spotify on my phone. Protection by Massive Attack came on. The lyrics really hit me, particularly the first part:

This girl I know needs some shelter
She don't believe anyone can help her
She's doing so much harm, doing so much damage
But you don't want to get involved
You tell her she can manage
And you can't change the way she feels
But you could put your arms around her

I know you want to live yourself
But could you forgive yourself
If you left her just the way
You found her
 
Snakeplissken83 said:
We are both atheists (no offence to any Christians here...I respect your right to beleive in whatever you wish).

We do have a lot in common in terms of tastes.

Her parents are not divorced, her mum is a successful business woman, her dad is a barrister (lawyer).

We know the theory of a proper relationship, we need some actual practice, i'll give you that. We have to learn on the job I guess.

She admitted to me that she expects me to leave her (due to her age and the fact that I'm taking on her kids). The fact is we are both insecure, and I'm fairly certain that only the passage of time can resolve that - the reassurance of a track record, if you will.
Click to expand...

A lack of faith community counts as something in common in my book!

Hey brother, I say, go for it!

Sounds like you have a lot going for you.

I may be wrong but I think time is on your side, the longer you demonstrate commitment the more committed you become!
 
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