Just for fun

[555]

Couldn't sleep last night so I was up staring at bad television. (Actually, all television is bad, but I digress). Anyway, AMC had Independence Day on. You probably know the movie, homocidal space aliens show up with 15 gigantic space ships and proceed to start blowing up cities all around the world.

i don't know if you can get this? when can't sleep i watch Aliens of a different kind they talk with a Tennessee accent and sell cheap knives almost all night. that's right Knives Live, Cutlery Corner and Saturday Night Knife and Gun Show.:thumbup:
every time my wife sees or hears me watching these shows she starts to talk to me with a Tennessee Accent.
BTW if these shows don't make you laugh, they can also bore you to sleep.

 

[bulgron]

now what am i going to do with all these UFOs i've already shot down and what a mess. i guess i can sell them for scrap.

You've been hitting the distilled grains again. That scrap metal isn't from UFOs, it's from all the cars you abandoned after the ground hogs got done dining on the wiring. You'd be able to tell better if you mowed your front lawn every now and then, but as it is all we can see is a few glints of metal shining through the tall grass.

Your wife really wishes you'd mow the front lawn, btw. Then maybe you can get a bead on those ground hogs....

what is the going rate for Zota metal now days?

5 galaticinaks per worioytal.

and on the second part. where do you think i'm posting from, in the bunker of course. didn't you guys get the wake up call when you saw tremors?

No, we know all about your bunker. The entrance is clearly visible from the treeline over here. Your problem is that rusty Buicks don't offer good protection, even when buried under a couple of feet of top soil and mulch. I suggest Fords. Much sturdier!

 

[bulgron]

i thought the Aliens blow up the satellite that i send my posts through.

We've been relaying your signal for you. Actually, we've been doing this for years, especially now that we can penetrate the tin foil lining your camo baseball cap (very sneaky, that). It's important for us to watch your signal, lest you take the red pill....

 

[bulgron]

Hmm, with all the weird red cells they are finding in rain these days, I'd say they've already started taking over.

http://bldgblog.blogspot.com/2006/01/alien-rain-on-india.html

Don't be silly. This is recent and they've been here for years. Ever watch Oprah and seen what's in her audience? Proof positive.

No, if there's a recent invasion, it can only be freedom fighters coming to liberate us all .....

 

[555]

You've been hitting the distilled grains again. That scrap metal isn't from UFOs, it's from all the cars you abandoned after the ground hogs got done dining on the wiring. You'd be able to tell better if you mowed your front lawn every now and then, but as it is all we can see is a few glints of metal shining through the tall grass.
:

wow you scared the scat out of me.
i thought you said the Aliens got my still.
that was a close one.

BTW i bought my bunker blue prints from some guy in Waco Tx.

 

[555]

We've been relaying your signal for you. Actually, we've been doing this for years, especially now that we can penetrate the tin foil lining your camo baseball cap (very sneaky, that). It's important for us to watch your signal, lest you take the red pill....

LOL
man thats a good one.

so what you telling me is to stop using the foil from the left overs and use the new stuff.
or how about a hub cap for a hat from that old Buick?

 

[555]

No, we know all about your bunker. The entrance is clearly visible from the treeline over here. Your problem is that rusty Buicks don't offer good protection, even when buried under a couple of feet of top soil and mulch. I suggest Fords. Much sturdier!

you don't think Buick convertibles make great bunkers?
so thats why the dirt keeps coming in.

 

[bulgron]

wow you scared the scat out of me.
i thought you said the Aliens got my still.
that was a close one.

The aliens? hic! Nope, aliens the didn't getcher still. hic! I mean, heck yeah, itwasthe aliens that gotcher. hic! Us men in black. hic! We don't stills steal. hic! Honest! hic!

BTW i bought my bunker blue prints from some guy in Waco Tx.

Shoulda gone with the Ruby Ridge prefab. Now that's one good bunker!

 

[bulgron]

you don't think Buick convertibles make great bunkers?
so thats why the dirt keeps coming in.

Buick makes a convertable that old? Or were you just testing a knife for ruggedness and the big round hole is the result?

By the way, you can fix that dirt problem with duct tape, lots and lots of duct tape ....

 

[555]

You've been hitting the distilled grains again. That scrap metal isn't from UFOs, it's from all the cars you abandoned after the ground hogs got done dining on the wiring. You'd be able to tell better if you mowed your front lawn every now and then, but as it is all we can see is a few glints of metal shining through the tall grass.

Your wife really wishes you'd mow the front lawn, btw. Then maybe you can get a bead on those ground hogs....
:

i'd cut the grass (hay) but with all those cars parts dull the mower blades.

i usually just wait till it snows. then i can't see the grass anymore.

and don't get me started the corn prices for the mash for the still.

also the price of Aluminum for my hat liners.
the lightening took my last liner out BTW.

 

[Alberta Ed]

First I'd render down Al Gore into bio-fuel to power my emergency generator so as to keep the beer cold. Should keep things running for 3-4 weeks until some hero comes up with a solution.

 

[555]

BEER, why didn't somebody say something?
i forgot to pack the Beer.

lets check the list.
beer check
knife check
foil for the camo hat check

OK We're Good

 

[bulgron]

i'd cut the grass (hay) but with all those cars parts dull the mower blades.

Take all those broken strings from your guitars and load them into the weed wacker, then.

See? Those squirrels are too doing you favors.

i usually just wait till it snows. then i can't see the grass anymore.

You mean, until you need more distilled grains, right? At which point you have to stop napping on the lawn chair and get up!

the lightening took my last liner out BTW.

That damn lightening!

You told your last liner to not kiss on the first date, right?

Did you ask lightening if its intentions were honorable?

 

[bulgron]

First I'd render down Al Gore into bio-fuel to power my emergency generator so as to keep the beer cold. Should keep things running for 3-4 weeks until some hero comes up with a solution.

You can't do that!

Politicians are a dirty bunch.

There's no way you can get EPA approval on Al Gore emissions!

 

[555]

i don't know where you've been, but i've been sharpening mower blades.

now my wife thinks it's normal for folks to cut the grass in there yard.
i keep telling her that they only cut grass on grave yards, football fields and golf courses.

now my weekends will be cuttin grass. no more sittin on the front porch with Duke the dog drinkin a beer watchin the groundhogs.:grumpy:

 

[555]

Take all those broken strings from your guitars and load them into the weed wacker, then.

See? Those squirrels are too doing you favors.



You mean, until you need more distilled grains, right? At which point you have to stop napping on the lawn chair and get up!



That damn lightening!

You told your last liner to not kiss on the first date, right?

Did you ask lightening if its intentions were honorable?

not a bad idea the electric guitar strings are made of Nickel so no rust.:thumbup:
what does a mountain man need electric guitars anyway, you can't plug it into a tree.
hey quiet, i've been telling the government for years that the still is for fuel for my cars, even though i don't go anywhere.
and my wife doesn't allow me to date foil anymore, ever since the lighting thing. she says the VA will not pay for another brain transplant.

 

[CitizenQ]

What bulgron has postulated is not so farfetched. Substitute nuclear (for alien) attack and the scenario is reasonable. I believe my situation to be unique. I live on Long Island which has a pampered population of 7,000,000+ (counting Brooklyn & Queens). Beyond that lies what has been called "Megaopolis," DC to Boston) another 50,000,000 citizens. Compound this by the fact that Long Island is...well...AN ISLAND...supplied by truck and serviced by three (3) bridges to the mainland. When the stuff hits the wind generation device the stores will empty in three days...max. The refugee stream will be biblical. Escape from Hell Island? Not a chance. I'll hunker down in my basement, shotguns at the ready. We can live down there for months. We'll monitor the radio and...if things settle down...we'll head northwest. Joining the refugee stream is an invitation to be victimized.

Has anyone considered the origin of the name "bulgron ?" It does strike me as a tad Alienesque, no? Perhaps bulgron is a Alien agent sent to earth to uncover our contingency plans? I dunno fellas...but I demand proof that he is human! Kill the monster!

 

[bulgron]

What bulgron has postulated is not so farfetched. Substitute nuclear (for alien) attack and the scenario is reasonable. I believe my situation to be unique. I live on Long Island which has a pampered population of 7,000,000+ (counting Brooklyn & Queens). Beyond that lies what has been called "Megaopolis," DC to Boston) another 50,000,000 citizens. Compound this by the fact that Long Island is...well...AN ISLAND...supplied by truck and serviced by three (3) bridges to the mainland. When the stuff hits the wind generation device the stores will empty in three days...max. The refugee stream will be biblical. Escape from Hell Island? Not a chance. I'll hunker down in my basement, shotguns at the ready. We can live down there for months. We'll monitor the radio and...if things settle down...we'll head northwest. Joining the refugee stream is an invitation to be victimized.

I've always thought that if I lived on Long Island, I'd have a boat somewhere that I can use to get me the hell off that island. Have you considered an inflatable with a good outboard motor, and a sail and ores for when you run out of gas? That way, all you need to do is find a good launching spot. It seems like on an island, this shouldn't be too hard to do.

Also hunkering down in your basement is only an option if the on-coming "stuff" doesn't include a hurricane. My understanding is that New York gets hit by a hurricane about once a century. By the way, you guys are overdue....

As for me, I live surrounded by about 5,000,000 clueless California crazies. There's only three freeways out of here, and one of them goes north through San Francisco and across the Golden Gate bridge; not an inviting scenario. Behind me is a coastal mountain range and then the sea. There's only three viable roads through those mountains, none of which are particularly quick even at the best of times. If the "stuff" comes here, my only viable escape option is via the air. I sometimes think about becoming a helicopter pilot for just that reason, although whether I could get (rent) a helicopter on short notice and in the face of a looming disaster is something of a mystery.

Has anyone considered the origin of the name "bulgron ?" It does strike me as a tad Alienesque, no? Perhaps bulgron is a Alien agent sent to earth to uncover our contingency plans? I dunno fellas...but I demand proof that he is human! Kill the monster!

Freezthhpt ka moverak t' mik cat ragnik! zzptazzt nfq@hh! k! lgmni% frognzzthat mognra --

...

smack! smack! whack! THUMP!

Friggin' universal translator always fails me when I need it the most....

I mean, ha ha, of course I'm human you guys. I mean, come on, "life beyond this world." snicker. Only paranoid tinfoil wearing freaks believe in such things. Why just the other day I was click! tthpth mkktazzzzz flock bb#zzmpth briznkt smack! THUMP! and he told me that alien life is a guaranteed impossibility.

Asking for proof that I'm human. I mean, sheesh, what's next? DNA tests? Come on guys, don't be silly ....

 

[555]

I mean, come on, "life beyond this world." snicker. Only paranoid tinfoil wearing freaks believe in such things.

i heard that.

 

[sodak]

This is by far the most entertaining thread I've read in a long time! Excuse me, the mother ship is callin....