I'll be brief. You know......cuz they're coming.
So while this may or may NOT look like the CA/OR coast, for the last few weeks I might or might NOT have been trapped in - and now standing at the mouth of - a high security black site, diabolically posing as a fortune cookie factory, and situated on what may or may NOT be the Land of the Lost (the awesome, cheezy-ass 70's show, NOT the stupid movie).
Anyways, I MAY have dug my way to the surface with my Gerber Dime I always keep nestled in my prosthetic, left ring finger (u know, for this sorta thing).
And, of course, as fortune favors the cool, I MAY have stumbled upon, mere INCHES from where I popped up, a very familiar-looking ESEE 5.
So with luck on my side, and apparent cell phone coverage in the area, I take a moment to laugh in danger's stupid face and send my bros some pics of my plight.
My mission now is clear though: to make my way back to civilization; back to my trophy wife and perfect 1.25 kids. And with a pocketful 'o fortune cookies and a fistful 'o ESEE steel - those ass-hat Sleestak don't stand a chance [emoji106]
I am Jack's Toy Soldier. Ya, baby [emoji12][emoji41][emoji123]
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