Knifeshow Stupidity

David Mary said:
Here's a weird one I have noticed among non knife people whenever I had allowed them to handle a knife with its molded sheath. Almost without fail, after they have taken the knife out of the sheath to have a look, they will try to put it back with the blade oriented correctly, but stop to second guess themselves, and then turn the knife upside down before trying to put it the rest of the way back in. It boggles my mind that they almost all have the instinct to put it back correctly, only to then mess it up.

Needless to say, I don't let them handle the knife and sheath any more.
Click to expand...
Apparently my knives have screen door edges and your sheaths have USB port aesthetics. Maybe we should do a collaboration!!! 🤣
 
Not at a show, but I was showing a few knives to some folks I worked with in Miami, one guy drew the knife from the sheath and sliced his finger (had his finger in front of the edge removing it from a kydex sheath.) Subsequently, my boss was making fun of him while handling THE SAME KNIFE, and....he did the same exact thing. He bought that knife.
 
Steven65 said:
I had a similar situation about 35 years ago........

Back in the late 80's I worked for a mail order company and on many weekends in the summer we did game fairs and shows.

We were at a big annual pistol shoot and I was manning the table. We had a load of various Spyderco's on the table, one was the original large Mariner. This was the old stainless handled model with a serrated G-2 blade. They were fearsomely sharp out out of the box.

One of the local genius's came along and picked it up, opened it and with a sarcastic smile on his face asked me if it was sharp.
Before I could answer he had placed his thumb on or around where the choil is, applied pressure and slid his finger towards the tip of the blade. By the time he got half way down the blade I was horrified to see the finger moving up and down as the bone scrapped along the serrations.
He bled all over the table and had to go to hospital for surgery to repair the damage.

The sort of idiot does a thing like that still fascinates me to this day.......:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Kind of a long story, but this reminds me of when I was a kid, browsing our local Sports Authority, which just happened to have a handful of Spyderco knives on the end cap of an aisle. At the time, they came in re-sealable clamshell packaging, so I took one out and started looking at it.
Now, to this day, I blame it mostly on how oily the blade was, but as I released the back lock and started closing the blade, it slipped and sprung shut before I could move the tip of my index finger out of the way. I remember thinking "did that close on my finger?" as it was so sharp I didn't even feel it. I stared at my finger for a couple of seconds, thinking "something doesn't look right..." and all of a sudden it just started pouring blood all over the white linoleum floor.
I tried wiping it up really fast before anyone saw, and it just started smearing everywhere. It looks like a murder scene before I decided to give up and divert my attention to my finger.
Wrapping my finger with the remaining Kleenex I happened to have in my pocket, I walked a few aisles down to find my mom and tell her we probably needed to go. She immediately noticed something was wrong as most of the blood had drained from my face at this point. She asked "why are you so pale??", at which point I explained what had happened. She then insisted I show her where and what knife it was. I walked her over to the display, where she took the knife back out of the package, and opened the knife to look at at. I'll be darned if a chunk of my fingertip wasn't still sticking to the blade! (I took it off the blade and stuck it on my still bleeding finger).
She then insisted we head to the ER for stitches, despite my objections. We sat in a crowded ER for so long that by the time we were seen, the bleeding had all but stopped. I do remember that at least a couple of nurses kind of giggled when I explained what happened, and I sat there for 5 minutes getting a very condescending lecture by the attending physician on how to properly close a "lock back" knife. I put lock back in quotes, because despite calling his knife a lock back multiple times, he actually had what actually looked like a very nice and expensive liner lock. I'm just sitting there thinking "I know more about knives than you, accidents happen."
Anyway, I ended up leaving with a tetanus shot and a band-aid, as the chunk of skin wasn't quite big enough to stitch back on. :D

I still have a scar to this day, nearly 30 years later, a constant reminder that Spyderco knives are indeed "laser sharp".
 
DevinT said:
I did the Antique Arms Show in Vegas one year. My table was about 3/4 the way through.

There was a guy who was similar to the know it all mentioned here walking the show and criticizing everyone and everything.

When he turned down the isle near me I noticed that he had one of those paper toilet seat covers hanging out of the back of his pants. No one bother to tell him because he was such an ass.

I debated telling him or letting him walk the rest of the show that way.

I ended up telling him, let’s just say that he was a lot nicer to people after that.

Hoss
Click to expand...
my favourite story so far🤣
 
ScarFoot said:
I keep rubbing alcohol band aids and rubber gloves with me at shows. It never ceases to amaze me how careless some people are when handling a knife let alone when they willingly do something stupid with them.
Click to expand...
You need to get pink ones or something. Just to drive home the point the guy cut himself at a knife show.
 
Fiddleback said:
I love this thread. Mine isn't funny but it's so common.

I get irritated when show customers pinch the bevels and run their fingers up and down them while talking to me at the table. It makes me nervous they're going to cut themselves, and can scratch my blade. When it happens I wipe the blade w oil and take it off the table after they walk away. I can't reliably see the scratches in show light anymore, so I just pass a belt over them back at the shop. I really don't understand this knife habit. I don't know what they're deducing about the tool, it's absent minded blade play. It happens at every show
Click to expand...
Do you leave some paper out or something for them to cut?
 
Not a knife show story either, but I'll tell a couple of embarassing moments. First on my dad, then on me.


My dad loves clip point blades and wanted a 4" clip point in AEB-L and a rubber handle from material I found on our ranch. One day he was in the hospital waiting room while my mother was in surgery. My aunt was with him, and he wanted to show off his new knife. The kydex I made was a little tight, but he isn't experienced with kydex much. As he pulled the knife out, he had some sort of weird reflex movement and ended up sticking the point of that knife right into two of his fingers holding the sheath. Blood went everywhere. They (him and my aunt) had to drive down the street to a clinic to get stitches, which I thought was weird since they were already at the hospital.

About 20 years ago I bought a Hanwei Tiger Katana, really nice sword. I was admiring the sword while laying in bed watching TV. Actually, it was "The Last Samurai". I ended up falling asleep, only to be awoken by my wife in shock. I had rolled over on top of that sword and it sliced the inside of my left arm wide open, blood soaking into the mattress. Horrible. Went to the ER and got a good couple handfuls of stitches. Kids, don't fall asleep with your katana in bed with you. They bite.
 
I went to this hoity toity knife show years ago in San Diego- a friend invited me so I just couldn't pass it up. It was full of some of the best knife makers and most well heeled and seasoned collectors.

Of the many collectors, there was this one guy- a BF regular from back in the day- that I knew through the forum here. I didn't really know too many people there, so we hung out a bit even though we didn't usually get along super well in the forum. He's a character, for sure.

Anyway, a couple of us were gaggling around, checking out the various knives the collectors brought to show around. This guy had a quite large bowie, that I think Jason Knight made, which he was showing around. I don't recall exactly what happened, but he ended up burying the lethal tip of that Knight bowie into the middle of his hand. Oh wait, he was shoving it into a cork so he could put it back in its nylon case. Jammed that blade through the cork and into his hand.

I feel bad to say it, but between you and me, it was just funny as hell- and hey, I'm a pacifist! I don't like seeing people get hurt, but the look on his face- being the prominent custom knife guy he is- of suddenly realizing he 'was that guy' at this prestigious event just cracked me up. He's looking into his cupped hand as it gradually fills with blood, then looks up pale as a ghost, and in that moment when I realize he might be going into shock, I slap him on the shoulder and say "stigmata!" smiling like the chesire cat. He shakes it off a bit, and with his little hand held blood swimming pool held aloft, heads to the can to clean up.

There's a big dinner at this show, and the guy running it's giving his spiel about the event, and brings up our unfortunate friend who somehow pulled the most knife show newb move of all time. Calls him out in front of everyone! Buddy rises to his feet, holds his bandaged hand toward the heavens and proclaims "STIGMATA!". The room really appreciated that moment. It could have been awkward, but it was awesome.

I guess that's more a story of how sometimes knife show stupidity can turn into something that can produce fond memories for all. Not like that toilet seat paper guy, sucks to be him, lol!!!
 
Last edited:
David Mary said:
Here's a weird one I have noticed among non knife people whenever I had allowed them to handle a knife with its molded sheath. Almost without fail, after they have taken the knife out of the sheath to have a look, they will try to put it back with the blade oriented correctly, but stop to second guess themselves, and then turn the knife upside down before trying to put it the rest of the way back in. It boggles my mind that they almost all have the instinct to put it back correctly, only to then mess it up.

Needless to say, I don't let them handle the knife and sheath any more.
Click to expand...

I often watch people do the same thing, but it's even more hilarious since I make a Seedy-style backwards kydex. :p
 
daily_grind said:
ScarFoot ScarFoot , roughly where in AL are you located? I'm near Lake Guntersville, and love knife shows ... and watching weird old men hurt themselves with knives ...
Click to expand...
I’m down in the Birmingham area which is where the show was. I’m doing a gun show across town this weekend. If that old man comes to the gun show I’m going to run for my life.
 
When I was director of dining services at VA Wesleyan College back in the early 70's, chef Claude was getting ready to carve a steamship round at a board of directors meeting and tossed a big carving knife in the air and caught it by the handle. He then juggled the knife, a ladle, and a carving fork. I was impressed. He said it was simple physics and the period rotation would bring it down in the orientation it came from. That is when I found out he had a degree in physics as well as being a chef. I practiced at home with a dull knife. Once you figured out how high to toss it, it was pretty easy to catch. I never did learn how to juggle, even though all my kids did.

Carpenters do it with hammers, mechanics with wrenches, and chefs with knives. It is the same principle, but chefs look much cooler. Idiots doing it at a knife show without permission are not cool.
 
Well the gun show has been open for an hour and a half now. My table is across from the restrooms. Just saw the first person of the weekend running in there bleeding profusely. Should be an interesting couple of days.

Also, the crazy old man that inspired this thread is wandering around somewhere. My buddy sent me a warning text after he was given a full performance report on the knife he sold him last weekend. Apparently it passed with flying colors.
 
Last edited:
Sounds like when I go to the next knife show, I'll have to stock this for my table!
85pp.jpg
 
My quick story doesn't involve blood but it was kinda funny. I was THAT guy. This past Blade Show I get my ticket and walk into the big room. Right in front of me is Neels van den Berg's table. I'm a fan so I put on my readers and walk on over. Just as I get to the table I give him a nod hello and lean over the table to peruse his wares. At that moment my cheap readers decide to disintegrate and the pieces fall all over his knives. YIKES! Poor form old chap! Of course I apologized immediately and collected the pieces. He was very cool about it and no harm was done. But when I headed out for lunch I went straight to Duane Reade and bought a more solidly constructed pair of glasses.
 
The gun show ended without further incident yesterday but I did have another completely random and unexpected thing happen a few hours before it ended.

One of my repeat customers walks up to my table and says, “I want you to check out this knife I got from my buddy that collects Randalls.” Now, this lady normally buys some pretty nice stuff so I was definitely curious to check out this knife assuming it’s going to be some type of Randall. So, she pulls out a box, opens it and hands me a knife made by Jerry Fisk. Needless to say it’s much nicer than a Randall. I told her to let me know when she gets tired of it…
 
The only version of this i get isn't as immediately damaging to health, just my mental well being.

At Blade this year I brought some really rare and high quality pieces, master grade African Blackwood burl, micro curly rosewood, blood red amboyna burl, cocobolo burl, all of it.

And the most annoying comment you get all the time is people picking them up and explaining how "yeah my brother got a huge slab of this exact wood, just like this, probably more figured though."

Not sure why the urge to believe your local woodshop had a blackwood burl slab is so strong, but man people want to tell you.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top