Last Stand; Kukri In Hand

Discussion in 'Himalayan Imports' started by munk, Oct 13, 2004.

  1. namaarie


    Aug 23, 2004
    Man, I've been gone for a few days and I miss word of the Alien invasion!! Holy Crap!

    I'm having a tough time beating back the hoardes, but here in Iowa, they're not really too bad. Apparantly they don't like all the corn and agricultural chemicals. Who knows?

    Anyhow, between my 18" WWII and my grandpappy's old shotgun, I'm holding up surprisingly well. But I think I see another landing ship on the way (Yup, French flag. Must be them.)

    Tell you what, I'm in a tight spot. I'll make a deal with you:

    I'll round up all the fresh, prime Iowa beef and pork I can possibly find (really limitless, I should think), and maybe try to steal an abandoned heavy-lift helicopter or something. No, I'm not a pilot, but that's beside the point. Then, in a dramatic escape sequence, I will single-handedly shoot down that landing ship with grandpa's old Remington and escape to Montana with enough steaks and chops to last at least a year.

    All I ask in return is a more suitable gun and maybe some toilet paper. It's getting pretty scarce.

    A little later, we'll have to rig up the chopper with a khuk-launcher or something. Just aim with the cho and FIRE! Plus, their bent shape means they'll always return after use.

    Sounds like a plan to me! :D

    Spectre and Ad Astra like this.
  2. Yvsa


    May 18, 1999
    Mmmm, Mmmm, Smoked Moose (Meese?) Tongue!!!! :eek: :cool: :D I'm a happy, happy, ndn at last!!!!

    Me Too Nam!!!! Give 'em Hell!!!!:D :cool: :D
  3. 45-70


    Jul 10, 2003

    Plans plans plans, why must we always plan?

    Lets live dangerously!

    Ninja's, large sharp knives, beer, four legged critters, aliens and the French. I think I'll find a nice quiet cave someplace.
  4. munk


    Mar 22, 2002
    Are these Aliens aware we are now South American Generals? Are not our campaign ribbons and citations visible on the surface of Earth from Outer Space?
    What more substanciation do these alien scum need that they stand no chance at colonization? Yes, I know Dannyinjapan has gone over to their side, but that still doesn't change anything. Poor boy; he kept telling us that UFO's were real and when the Aliens finally did come he just naturally ran over to the closest ship and volunteered as an interpreter. I heard he's swabbing out alien toilets and brushing with steel wool some intimate parts....

  5. PherrousWeal


    Mar 15, 2005
    Ferrous here, reporting for multi-job duty. I've got the siege engines on the way, the field guns levelled and filled with double cannister, The trenches are filled with naptha and pitch, and are ready to fire. I've got the bales of brush ready to ignite and roll down the hill as they come up.
    I've got the psy-ops team making tinfoil hats and playing Devo at an ear-splitting level, and they'll be spray painting lewd scenes and slogans on cabbages after that.
    We've also been hard at work putting the finishing touches on the new ADB (After Death, BOOM!) pill, which contains a timer, heart monitor, and a few ounces of C16explosive, enuf in each pill to level a forest, Tunguska-style. We each take the pill, then roll out to perform our respective duties. If your heart stops, the pill goes off in 30 sec, so please, no Elvis-style deaths in the compound--this means you folks by the grill. If you feel like you have to die, please do so at a safe and respectful distance.

    I brought two sealed cases of 7.62x51 NATO (one Aussie, one South African), to feed my Cetme with HK G3 stockset, and another case of Yugo 7.62x39 already in stripper clips to feed the various AKs, and my Yugo SKS (heck, make it three cases--that CommBloc ammo is CHEEP!). Also, for this scenario, I found about a hundred rifle launched grenades for we Yugo SKS users, and the blanks to fire 'em. When they press in close, it's Ruger .45 built into my spiked buckler on the right, and the HI FALCATTA in the left. Oh, and the fancy tinfoil helm from Psy-Ops (good guys, even if they smell funny) will protect agains the mind control and paralysis rays, while the microwaves will just make my hat spark and glow.

    Munk, we may beed to coordinate musical offerings from the CD guys with Psy Ops. I explained that not all might like Devo, and they told me to stay away from their frogs.

    Speaking of frogs, I've got some Mechanical frogmen with automatic spearguns prowling the outer moat. They assure me that no enemy will leave without looking like a voodoo dool, when they're done. The outer moat is filled with oil to keep them lubed, and they don't mind if we have to fire that one too.

    PssyOps also wants a few objects launched at the enemy from the ballistae, namely stale french bread, any available streetsign posts, with signs if possible, walking sticks, and frozen snakes. From the Trebuchet they want us to launch a few thousand alarm clocks, painted by the psyOps guys, alsong with any farm or zoo animals we can scare up. If we can't find any of that, they say any bronze statues of a western or bullfighting theme will suffice.

    PsyOps wants any captures to go to them for teasing and brainwave re-terraining.

    stevomiller and Ad Astra like this.
  6. PherrousWeal


    Mar 15, 2005
    Oh, Went back and read some of the last few pages. Danny, sorry abt the Ice cream freezer. The psy ops guys were looking ofr an excuse to eat it now, anyways.
  7. DannyinJapan


    Oct 9, 2003
    Hey thats right!
    when are you going to get us a new ice cream freezer, general munk!?!?
  8. depusm12


    Jan 17, 2005
    Hum fightin Aliens, I think I need my 20 inch Sirupita for close quarters, Ar-15 with plenty of 30 round mags for perimiter defense for our Boston Whaler on the river as well as a 50 cal mg , Sig 45 with loads of extra mags, and my Colt 38 as my backup gun.

  9. DannyinJapan


    Oct 9, 2003
    is that one of those lamb sandwiches with ranch dressing?
    stevomiller likes this.
  10. namaarie


    Aug 23, 2004
    Pherrous, I must say how much I envy your Falcata. That's definately not one to launch from the chopper, even if it WILL come back!!

  11. Ad Astra

    Ad Astra

    Jul 30, 2004
    To me, that is the prize of any HI collection... but I have my bias:

    "The Celts fought with spears and knives, but, above all, they wielded the falcata, which could cut the arms at the shoulder and sever heads with one chop..."

    - Livy (Roman historian)

    Albion makes one, also Win-less Stealkrafts, but the HI one looks like a beast, and is likely very well made...

    Ad Astra

    Ooops- wandered the thread... uhh, OK- <sound effect of the hiss of an alien death beam passing overhead-crackle of gunfire from many different (too many) calibers coming from the Khompound>

    "Guys! AMMO UP! Who needs .45 ACP? Trade ya for a rack of them ribs!"

    "They're WHAT? TROLL ribs?" :eek:

    "MRE's UP! I got MRE's!" :rolleyes: :footinmou
  12. stevomiller


    May 4, 2001
    Ben, you sick bastid wanker, you obviously suffer from premature articulation. Quit speaking out of turn! I can't even visualize the swedish girls now! Where's my beer?! Who stold my bathing trunks! When's the BBQ gonna be done?
  13. PherrousWeal


    Mar 15, 2005
    "how much I envy your Falcata"

    nam, you'd not be the first to suffer from Falcatta envy. :eek: :D Seriously, I'm the second (and last) owner of it. The good Mr. Marsh was the kind fellow to bend his ear and heart to my line of acquisitional questioning.

    Ad, you are correct, The Iberian Celts were badasses! Only a few tribes really scared the Romans, and that was the Celts and Picts. The Cheusci, a Germanic tribe, killed an entire legion of Romans in AD 9 and hung them in trees in their sacred grove (a fave way to offer them to Odin) in what is now the Black Forest. Apparently, the Cherusci took exception to inerlopers in their sacred spots. Their leader Hermann of the Cherusci, was trained in the Roman army, and used his training to pick battles in areas where formational infantry and cavalry were at a disadvantage to tribal guerilla tactics, and where the strong, individualistic and bigger Germans were at an advantage against their smaller, squad fight-trained foes (so don't believe that scene in the beginning of Gladiator, where the Germans com out of the woods (?!?!) to fight in the field, where we see the massed fire and troop unit tactics of the romans overcvome the Germans). They did eventually get the Germans into the empire, but that was after 200 years of fighting them, and they fought the Celts and Gauls for like 300 years before that.
  14. kronckew

    kronckew Basic Member Basic Member

    Aug 17, 2003
    during the war, they were all good little petainists, when they figured out degaul was coming, suddenly they were all resistance fighters. lucky for them, there were a few REAL ones.

    the french do have some good troops, they call them the 'foreign legion', wonder why their most famous & battle savvy unit - is all made of foreignors?

    my tinfoil hat is slipping, gotta go superglue it back on, them green female lookin' aley N's with the long green tendrils are startin to look purdy good. good thing they only speak french & i don't.

    p.s. - the sheild wall over here in the UK is holdin for the moment (we've got the gurkhas), the aley N's have run out of darts for their dartthrowers, seems one of their french QM's sold all their dart magazines on eBay as automatic knife sharpeners.
  15. DannyinJapan


    Oct 9, 2003
    Hey yall, check this out!
    I made a gun that fires boiled eggs!
    Hey munk, hold up your hat!
  16. PherrousWeal


    Mar 15, 2005
    "Hey yall, check this out!"

    IIRC< this is the punchline to a joke that starts:

    What did the (hillbilly, simpleton, etc) say just before he died?

    Sometimes amended with: "Here, hold my beer fer a sec"

    Heehehereh! :cool: ;)
  17. xinel


    Sep 5, 2006
    I can only translate a little of what your on about munk, but from what I understand I'll join :) Sadly I have no guns and its hard for me to get one so I'll just come with my khuk and tibetan sword ;)
  18. Magnum22


    Jul 6, 2006
    i didn't think anyone but a veteran of the 2005 invasion would resurrect this thread. way to join two years after the battle!
  19. kronckew

    kronckew Basic Member Basic Member

    Aug 17, 2003
    let's see, australia<-indianapolis ~ 10000 miles, or 52,800,000 feet

    645 days x 24 x 60 x 60= 55728000 seconds, or 15480 hrs.

    52,800,000/55728000= 0.9475 fps or 0.646 mph, average.

    fairly slow internet connection i'd say. :D

    even i could have walked that speed
  20. xinel


    Sep 5, 2006
    Yes, but could you swim all that way fighting Great White Sharks and other nasties :p

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