Let's hear your CLEAN bad jokes.

T. Erdelyi

T. Erdelyi

Joined
Feb 3, 2001
Messages
32,359
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

Nurse: No change yet.
 
T. Erdelyi said:
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

Nurse: No change yet.
Click to expand...
Clean bad jokes, huh? Well, good luck with that. (Torz bids T. Erdelyi a polite goodbye, but as soon as he's out the door he hightails it over to similar thread full of filthy jokes in W&C)
 
Wanna hear a dirty joke?

Three white horses fell in the mud.

Wanna hear a clean joke?

Three white horses took a bath.
 
"See, now that's what I'm talkin' about, it's harder to tell a clean bad joke, much easier to to tell dirty jokes.", he politely said.
 
The Wong Family
> >-------------------------
> >
> >Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wong's
> >have a new baby.
> >
> >The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely
> >Caucasian,white baby boy.
> >
> >"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents.
> >
> >"Well Mr.Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the
> >baby?"
> >
> >The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "well, two
> >Wong's don't make a white, so I think we'll name him Sum Ting Wong."
> >
 
Three young nuns were killed when the convent stationwagon overturned on the Interstate. They appeared at Heaven's gate but on the outside. Saint Peter approached them. "Ladies," he says, "since you were killed in an accident on earth and didn't receive last rites you must pass a little test before you can enter. I will ask each of you a single question. If you answer correctly, you'll sprout wings and be able to fly over the walls and enter Heaven."

He turns to the first nun. "Sister, who was the first man?"
"Why, why Adam, Sir." Woom, she sprouts wings and off she goes.

To the second nun. "Sister, who was the first woman?"
"Ahhh, Eve, Sir." Wings sprout and away she goes.

To the third nun. "Sister, what did Eve say when she first saw Adam."
"Gee! That--that's a hard one, Sir," she stammered nervously.

Wham! She also sprouts wings and away she goes.
 
This is an oldie:
What's the difference between a Pit Bull Dog and a woman with PMS?

Answer: Lipstick.
 
Q: If your mother was a tuba; and your father was a $10 bill; and you were rowing upstream in a canoe, backwards, how many pancakes would it take to build a RED dog-house??


A: Footballs don't have feathers!!!


(In the Deep South, with its ubiquitous DQs, it is appropiate to answer with equally hillarious, "Ice cream don't got bones!!!") :D :D :D









J









:confused:





bunnypancake.jpg
 
Well, T., you're right. A clean bad joke is much harder to tell than a dirty bad joke, but somehow they're not quite as dirty or funny. I now extend the olive branch to you by offering this: the absolute worst - yet cleanest - groaner I have ever heard. Enjoy!

At a baptism in Scotland, the minister was holding an infant in his arms at the christening font and realized, to his dismay, that he had forgotten the baby’s name. He racked his brains. Then he asked the baby’s father who was standing next to him. The father whispered, “Spindona.”
Well, the minister thought this name a bit odd, but nowadays the names people chose for babies seemed outlandish to him anyway, so he went ahead and christened the baby Spindona.
As he did, he was surprised to see a look of consternation on the parents’ faces. Back in the vestry, he was more surprised when the mother burst into tears and the father angrily demanded what the minister meant by giving his daughter such a ridiculous name.
“But you said her name was Spindona,” protested the minister.
“Ah did not,” fumed the father, pointing to a piece of paper attached to the baby’s gown. “Ah telt ye her name’s pinned oan her!”
And so it was—Carol Elizabeth!
Click to expand...
 
Did you hear about the blonde eco-terrorist?

Late one night she snuck into a tree farm and opened all the gates so the trees could escape!
 
Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?

A: A Doberman pinscher.....:rolleyes:




J
 
TorzJohnson said:
Well, T., you're right. A clean bad joke is much harder to tell than a dirty bad joke, but somehow they're not quite as dirty or funny. I now extend the olive branch to you by offering this: the absolute worst - yet cleanest - groaner I have ever heard. Enjoy!
Click to expand...


Grrrooooaaaannnnnnnn:D

Considering what season will be upon us soon I leave you with this bad joke,

How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern? ...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
With a pumpkin patch.
 
Did you hear, there's a new law that lawyers have to be buried 20 feet under ground when they die.

Deep down they're really nice guys?


What do you call a room full of dead lawyers?
A good start.
 
I was at my local ATM today, when this little old lady came up to me.
She said "Could you help me check my balance?"
So, I gave her a gentle push...............





























..................and she fell over.



Mal ;) :D
 
Did you know how copper wire was invented?
Two Scotsmen were fighting over a penny ;)


and my favourite...

A Scotsman was arguing with the conductor as to whether the fare was 25 or 50 cents. Finally the disgusted conductor picked up the Scotsman's suitcase and tossed it off the train, just as they passed over a bridge. It landed with a splash.
" Man, " screamed the Scot, " isn't enough to try to overcharge me, but now you try to drown my little boy !

G2

(part scottish don't ye know...:) )
 
Why are there no Irish lawyers?

They can never pass the bar!



What do you get when you cross a dwarf and a vampire?

A little sucker about three feet high!
 
There’s a fellow out hiking, enjoying the view, looking at the lake when all of a sudden he notices that there is a woman drowning. He rushes down to the lake and is just about ready to jump in to try to save her when out of no where a pig, with a wooden leg, runs past him and dives into the water swims out to the woman, drags her to shore and saves her life. The man is dumbstruck. He has never seen anything like this before in his life. He decides to follow the pig and it runs to a farm and into a barn. The man is astounded. He goes up to the farmer’s door and knocks. The farmer comes out and man relays the story of the pig saving the drowning woman and farmer tells him that’s nothing. A couple of days ago the pig ran into a burning building and by himself saved an entire family inside. Then man was virtually speechless. The farmer then told him the story about how a few weeks ago, this pig, with the wooden leg rescued a bunch of children from a school bus crash. The man still can’t believe what he is hearing. Finally he asks the farmer. There is one thing I don’t understand. How did the pig get the wooden leg? Oh, says the farmer. Well a pig that valuable, you don’t want to eat him all at once. :D :rolleyes:
 
allenC said:
Why are there no Irish lawyers?

They can never pass the bar!

What do you get when you cross a dwarf and a vampire?

A little sucker about three feet high!
Click to expand...

;) If you can post that one, I can post this one.

What do you call 4 Mexicans in a leaky row boat?

Quatro Cinco :D
 
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