Lord of the Rings Swords Are Crap

I'm kind of serious. If you are against knife carry legislation, why not prove it? Carrying a sword is totally legal in most places. Buttering your toast, no problem, one swipe.
In all seriousness. Swordmanship is fun. I set up the old style of sparring dummy and go at it with swords. I like European swords the best. Swordmanship takes practice and teaches one a lot about European martial traditions. The old dark ages slashing sword for example is very hard to master, but what a delight when your muscles get better and better at it. I run 4 miles everyday with 5 lb weights and have for 17 years, push-ups, sit-ups, and still have trouble with a fifteen minute sword workout. Those old guys really knew there stuff. Enough katana, the Europeans were just as capable with their weapons and martial tradition. By the way, in my opinion the best close quarters weapon combo ever invented was the cutlass and buckler. I would love to see a workout featuring this combo against a katana.
 
Originally posted by Uath
I'm kind of serious. If you are against knife carry legislation, why not prove it? Carrying a sword is totally legal in most places. Buttering your toast, no problem, one swipe.
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Legal to carry in most places? Perhaps in that divergent Anne Heche-like part of your mind.
 
Come on Super chunk. I'm just playing. I'm a middle-aged teacher with a master's degree. Man, how can a bunch of professed knife nuts not understand someone who likes to train and practice with ancient type swords? I don't walk around town with them. I was just joking. I love European swords and am in touch with many reinactment groups that live for historical research as practical role-playing. Try one, it's a lot more chalenging than you might think. The sword is a very special object. It must be approached with respect. I still think the LOTR swords are crap. Yes, I've held them. What I'm worried about are the people tht think they ARE buying a real sword.
 
Originally posted by Point44
don't be crazy!

stop talking cock!
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hahaha, I haven't heard that phrase online for awhile. ok, sorry for the diversion.

as for carrying swords...last time I encountered any like that was during the racial riots in Indonesia in 2000. Suddenly, hundreds of swords, spears, machetes, and sharp weapons were finding their way to the hands of mobs, posses, criminals etc. It was really scary really...I missed the brunt of the racial terror by a whisker...

I remember vividly a picture in the local newspaper of a Batak proudly displaying a decapitated Madurese head....
 
While most of us do not appreciate this level of BS, masters or not, I'll reply anyway:
The most dangerous people out there aren't buyers but dealers who claim the swords are excellent without ever saying they are for show. HSN is an excellent example of dangerous dealers.
 
When I lived in Seattle, there was this guy that walked all over downtown with a broad sword strapped to his back. No one messed with him. I admired him greatly. More people should do that. Maybe we should all carry swords.
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I worked at Seattle cutlery(Seacut) in Pike's Place Market for about a year. We sold a little cheapie melon ball scooper type thing that had teeth on the rim of the scooper and a little red plastic handle called the tomato shark.

We had an officer come in one day and he told us that in the city of Seattle the tomato shark was considered a fixed blade and therefore illegal to carry in city limits.

Your going to sit there and tell me that you once knew a guy that carried a SWORD around town???:confused: :confused: :eek:

Something stinks and it aint me! :rolleyes:
 
No, I am totally for real. This guy dressed norrmally, usually in a black T-shirt and jeans. He was a body builder type, with dark hair and a mustache. This was around 1986, or so. He walked all around downtown. I always wondered if the police hassled him. You would doubt he had a criminal record.
 
Originally posted by Uath
I still think the LOTR swords are crap. Yes, I've held them. What I'm worried about are the people tht think they ARE buying a real sword.
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Well, they are "real" wall hanging swords. Ornaments, decorations for those who appreciate the works of Tolkien. I doubt those who buy them think of them as real battle swords. They are merely licensed replicas, no more no less. Just imagine what it would cost to have one made for you by the WETA workshop in New Zealand. For most fans of the genre, the replicas do just fine.
 
Come on ya'll. No ones going to bite at the cutlass vs katana debate. I know I've got a lot of Japanese practicioners out there. In the real encounters between samari and western weapons, the westerners won. I would like to go against a katana with a cutlass and buckler (small, metal, round sheild about the size of a searving platter). Oh yes, using reed swords and padded armor. I just can't believe that the katana's length would prove disasterous when pressed into a retreat. My best guess is that the katana would have to maintain a constant attack, lest they be pressed into a corner. I know the question isn't really fair. A real samari would be fully armored and would use his armor as a part of his fighting technique. I still think the cutlass would win.
 
When I lived in Seattle, there was this guy that walked all over downtown with a broad sword strapped to his back. No one messed with him.
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I seem to recall that that guy did finally snap and the police ended up having to subdue him with a water cannon.




The first thing you should know is that the actual props used in the movies aren't very good in reality. The balisong knife that appears in Tomb Raider II is actually a plastic prop. The actual swords and knives used in movies are very often aluminum, wood, or plastic. These props are lighter weight (and even if the actor swinging that huge broadsword around is a big guy, he may have to do twenty takes under hot lights and he's gonna simply wear out if the sword is steel), safer, and cheaper (and don't forget that if the knife or sword is a major part of a major character's wardrobe, they'll probably make thirty or fourty copies. Time on a movie set is very, very expensive and nobody wants to waste even one minute looking for a misplaced prop or dealing with a broken prop. I got to see a "making of" feature for one of the Lord of the Rings movies (I usually find the Making Of features more interesting than the movies) and they literally had racks and racks with dozens of copies of each sword. If they are metal, it's probably sand-cast Zamak (97% zinc, takes an edge like butter). That way they can bang out 50 of 'em inexpensively.) You might protest, "But they SOUND real." Almost every sound you hear in a movie, from delicate footsteps to swords clashing, is a sound effect added after filming. The folks who make the sound effects are called, "Folly Artists." Look for them in the credits.

My point is that you're having fantasies about how great these swords are in the movie. In fact, the cheapie "immitations" you're complaining about are possibly better swords than those used in the movie.

The swords you admired in the movie are not real swords; they're not weapons. They are movie props to decorate the set of a movie.

The immitations you complain about aren't real swords either. They are props to decorate the houses of people with strange senses of interior design.
 
I have trained in sword based martial arts extensively for the past 4 years. You can have your sword. You can carry it around town all you want. The art is not obsolete, but as a weapon or tool it is inferior to what is out there.

The fact is if I didnt live immediately off of my college campus, and if I didn't spend 12-15 hours a day on campus, I would have a CCW permit.

You can have your traditionally forged Katana or Cutlass, and I will raise you 6 125 grain speer gold dots from my .357 mag or 7 230 grain of the same from my .45... get my drift?

Modern weaponry came about for a reason, use technology to your advantage. The empty handed techniques derived from sword arts can help you in a fight. Avoiding and disarming blunt as well as sharpened objects is handy, along with the timing and distance that can be learned, but a knife (no matter the size), is inferior to a gun.

You would be better off carrying something that weighs about the same but is in a smaller package and has more reach. Forget the Ents, Orcs, Elves, Hobbits, and Wizards... get a .45
 
I seem to recall that that guy did finally snap and the police ended up having to subdue him with a water cannon.
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Holy Crap!!!

I worked there in 2000. A lot must have changed!!

I stand corrected.
 
those swords certainly aren't worth a goatshead in a real battle, but if an orc came into my house, i'd reach for one of them before grabbing my benchmade :D

swordfighting does sound like a bit of fun. i do remember when i was younger, my friends and i would go to the playground and fight each other with platic swords...dam that was fun.

as a tolkienaholic myself, i would sell all of my earthly possesions for the real angrist and gurthang :D
 
Originally posted by Gollnick
...The folks who make the sound effects are called, "Folly Artists."...
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Considering the source, I'm sure this is just a typo! ;)

Of course you meant "Foley Artists"!

Yes? ;)

("Folly Artists" is the correct term for Production Company Accountants! ;) ;) ;) )
 
I was never talking about the movie when I was talking about the quality of the LOTR swords being an insult to the Tolkein novels. I know they use movie props. Tolkein never actually described the various swords in any detail. He did however write extensively about the craftmanship and quality of their work. To market rat-tail tang, stainless steel play-swords under the names of his creations is cheap and commercial.
It wouldn't have taken much more to produce full-tang, carbon steel weapons with a good spring temper. They made them as cheaply as they could and sold them for as much as a real sword. You can still mass produce quality goods.
 
there is no way they could make swords worth of tolkien.
hell, no paper is worthy to carry his words. tolkien was the greatest writer of all time (ok...so that's just my opinion), but we need to settle with what we've got.
for what the replicas were intended to do, they do quite well....hang on a wall.
 
Lord of the Rings Swords Are Crap
Stainless Steal, rat-tail tangs, Made in Spain, crap, crap, crap. Is eerything made in Spain just garbage? How can commercial slop of this level represent the highly crafted battle-weapons of the immortal Tolkein novels. They're the worst kind of trash. They're an insult to the spirit of the blade. Don't buy them. Buy a real sword. Carbon steal, full-tang, real blades made by blacksmiths. Swords made in the Phillipines are worthy and don't over cost. (CAS Iberia). Can you imagine a sword that you have to worry about the handle coming loose after two cuts? TRASH!!!!



And I was saying about stupid questions or statements.
 
On Swordforums.com there were good reviews of the Factory X movie replica swords made by Windlass. I have the Knight's Tale sword (on sale ofr $30.00) and it is well made. The only problem I had was the blade seemed too flexible but some have said that was normal. I got that only as a wall-hanger and for the price it was a excellent deal. I also have MRL's Medieval Short Sword which is very good for the money. I later found out I could have bought two of them for the price I paid since they were also sold as the sword from the Dracula movie. Windlass swords don't come sharp but can be sharpened. They probably are not as good as the more higher-end makers but they are much better than United. It is possible, IMO, to make working replicas of the LOTR swords that also look good. By working I mean functional swords, not ones that work like the swords on the movie. There have been sword makers that made their own functional versions of the LOTR swords.
 
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