Mantis Militia Mission BRAVO one - Post Spam for Free Knives!

jujigatame said:
What I really want to know is this: if any member of Mantis Militia is captured or, God forbid, killed during Mission Bravo One will they be disavowed or will Jared mount a rescue mission? :)
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He'll send out another email to the Mantis Millicents to run around talking about it.
 
My guess is right now Your Militia General, Jared West, is throwing a classic B movie villian tantrum, rending his garments and blaming this fiasco on his bungling subordinates. The evil masterminds in B movies never take any responsibility for their mistakes; they always accuse their subordinates of bungling the execution of their brilliant plans. So my guess is no, he will not attempt a rescue. Any Mantis Militiamen who make it back alive to Spam Headquarters will be punished for their failure. "No free knife for you, you bunglers! Into the snake pit! Mwahahahaha!"
 
I Love-ah My Mantis Knives. They very good. Yes.

borat-preview-1.jpg
 
I doubt anyone on BF will be buying a mantits now.

Really, what kind of PT bribes people to do crap like this.
Reeks of desperation.
 
Mantis, Mantis what a knife
A Mantis knife saved my life
I'll tell you a tale bout a mantis knife
It started last night after a fight with my wife
Out to the bar, it was time to get drunk
Into the bar GIVE ME Scotch, your very best
I took a double-take it was Jared West
I just saw your knife clipped to your pants
Jared was so excited he did a little dance
So we stood at the bar and had a few Tequilas
Jared ranted bout his knives, the guy's a freaking squealer
JUST THEN folks five bikers waddled in
And the bar fell quiet, you could hear a freakin pin
HEY YOU punk, are you Jared West
Your spamming my favorite forum, so GIVE IT A REST
Wait big bad bikers I have a Mantis knife
and I am prepared to use it to save Jared's life
These big bad bikers froze in fear
They just looked at that knife and ran out of there!
The moral of the story is that when life's a test
take a mantis knife made by Jared West
But be aware if you drink with your goat
That won't be a banana under Jared's coat!!

Boom, shog a luga
 
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when I purchased a mantis knife, on the recommendation of my local mohel (he said it's the only blade sharp enough to cut off all those foreskins), I didn't think much about it, just put it under my pillow and went to bed.
the next morning my manhood had increased in size somewhere in the vicinity of 9000%. with each subsequent mantis knife I've even looked at since then, it's grown exponentially.
I'm sure some of you are familiar with the grey goo theory. according to my calculations, if I buy just three more of these miraculous blades, the world will consist entirely of my dong.
 
I have just been informed that Mantis doesn't make a balisong-style knife.

I hope that that won't impair my prospects for winning the free knife.
 
Gollnick said:
I have just been informed that Mantis doesn't make a balisong-style knife.

I hope that that won't impair my prospects for winning the free knife.
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I hope they will take your interests to heart, and if they cannot produce a true balisong at the present time, give you 2 knives now, so you can take the handle of one and add it to the other to make your own. :)
 
Spammers should be drawn and quartered, hung, set on fire and kicked in the nuts. Repeatedly. Even if they hand out free knives.

Kind regards,

Jos

EDIT: To the hall of shame with them!
 
I could tell you my MANTIS story, but then I'd have to kill you. With my MANTIS knife.

thx - cpr

ps - now where's my dang knife?
 
It takes quite a man to be a member of the Mantis Militia. Their Master Mantis, Jared West is a well known secret Ninja who, although was only in the US Military for a short while became a Pilot, sniper, Ranger, SEAL, Green Beret and an Honorary member of the Mossad.
Damn what a man :rolleyes:!!

I want to be a mantis man, to fight a mantis war
I want to be like Jared West a spammer to the core!!!
 
Mantis Mantis man
I want to be a Mantis man
Mantis Mantis man
I want to be a Mantis man
...

OK this tune is now stuck in your mind, courtesy of Jared.
 
Mantis me up
and Mantis me down
Mantis me till I'm good and brown.


No, I have no idea what it means either, but it rhymes.
 
Mantis man, Mantis Militia
I lost my knife, I surely miss her
But Jared's gonna send me one, and send it off for free
Mantis man, YES mantis man, just for spammin BFC!!!!!
 
since the onslaught of operation spamantis its obvious that no member here will get a free knife so i'm offering free sharpening to the funniest anti-mantis picture or post of my choosing. its up to the winner to to pay to get the knife or knives to me and back. i will do a total of 5 folders or 3 fixed knives up to 12" bladelength. if you think your post is funny send me an email or pm with a link. if you're on my ignore list or one of the jared west's desperate for a knife spammers, sorry about your luck :p
 
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Jos said:
Spammers should be drawn and quartered, hung, set on fire and kicked in the nuts. Repeatedly. Even if they hand out free knives.

Kind regards,

Jos

EDIT: To the hall of shame with them!
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I couldn't agree with you MORE!!
 
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