re: verification
No prob - My roommate has a whole stack of papers on this. (edit - see scanned attachments in this and next reply)
What I see in his folder is:
- the official notice from the state saying that they are required to send him the attached victim impact statement that he needed to reply to within 7 days,
- a letter from the attorney general's office
- letters from the Crime Victim Counselor updating him on progress,
- a copy of his Victim Impact Statement,
- something about Civil litigation,
- suture care instructions from the hospital,
- the hospital bill, and his wristband
- a "HIPAA privacy complaint hotline" pamphlet that he was given at the restaurant
It looks like this is everything he has been sent. I'll ask him what he'd be OK with my posting. He will spaz and be mad at me because he feels humiliated over the whole thing and still says over and over again that he never saw it coming, but I'm sure he'll let me scan in and post something.
re: Little Claw
Little claw said:
Your honest account is very generous, and your description of fear, anger, confusion and doubt both during and after feels very authentic to me, having recently been in a similarly perilous situation.
I learned a lot from my own situation, and I have learned from yours, too. I had considered sharing, but it has always seemed like a big, emotionally draining job. Like you I unloaded on anyone and everyone for a short time after and then didn't want to talk anymore.
Yes. I felt like I had to repeat it over and over for several hours afterwards. Then, I just shut down and shut up. Then the next day I wrote what I wrote.
Sharing anything is always tough. Goes with the territory. But the big picture is that others can learn from it.
I certainly did. I've only been in 1 other bad situation, and I had plenty of advance warning (in terms of seconds). This was a all-at-once sort of thing, but it involved much more than what it initially seemed to be at first (a guy fight). I never thought I'd be in a critical situation and not go for my gun. Yes, I love my knife, but I have LOTS of training with guns and am much much more confident with them.
I learned that I do not freeze. I have not, and odds are that I will not ever, "freeze". This is a big deal to me.
Finally, I got some empathy for what it is like as a bystander in this situation, when someone close is hurt.
Little claw said:
I think he needs to talk to someone who understands what he is going through and knows how to help him deal with it. The emotional suffering could far outweigh his physical injury in the future. Guilt, fear and anger are common after effects, and if they are not dealt with, they can be crippling. I dealt with it the first time (7-8 years ago) by learning kung fu (not really an answer in itself, but it worked for me eventually -
Thanks - I was worried about him a lot at first, but he seems to be moving pretty quickly past it. The small amount of time that the Crime Victim Counselor spent with him helped a ton. She didn't tell him anything I didn't, but it seemed to have a bigger impact on him.
FrontSight
Edited: Well, I was in the doghouse with my roommate over this for a couple hours
"why the do you have to share so d--- much", but all is OK now. In reading his victim impact statement, I didn't realize that he officially credited me with saving his life.
::micro bicep flex:: I informed him that saving his life means he should have to do laundry for the next month. He said he was never sent a police report. I told him he should ask for one anyway. He wants me to drop it, but I think he'll get a copy.
One absolute diff between what he remembers vs what I do - He thinks he heard the psycho's mother say that the father begged police to not let him out that same day, and I am sure she said the week prior. Also timing diff - I'm sure she only said the warning of her son's condition during the instant, and *later* told us the other things (re: the judge not agreeing to commit him and about the other assault) But he thinks he heard all of that at the same time.
These below docs are edited so no personally identifiable or location identifiable info is shared. Anyone who has filled out these forms where I live and certainly any LEO would probably recognize where they are from. I'm fine with that, but not with the random person reading this. I've had to move before, leave a great job and a place I loved because of a different situation and it would be too much to bear to have to do that again. If anyone with more legal experience thinks I should not post any of these please email me. ( If I had actually made physical contact with him, I think that changes everything from a liability standpoint. As it was, I'm certain he never knew I had anything but a screaming voice and a chair.)
I don't think posting this is big deal since what happened was incontrovertable, with so many witnesses, including the psycho's family members, and was so one-sided; no shades of gray.
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