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- Mar 23, 2000
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Friday, I visited the doctor for a routine, elective, in-office medical procedure.
Before I begin, so that you can understand the central purpose of this post, I should say that I have extreme anxiety about pain....call me a "weenie," if you must. I just don't have the "balls" for pain.
In the initial consultation last month, the doctor explained everything very thoroughly. I was impressed. But, as always, I kept my ears open for little statements about pain (the ones we've all heard about there only being minimal pain). He said that he would inject a local anesthetic that would make the procedure "virtually" (VIRTUALLY!!!!...yeh, right!) painless and that when the effects of that wore off, I should take Ibuprofen, apply an ice pack as needed, and be a couch potato for 72 hours. At the time of this writing, I'm at 42 hours.
Back to the anxiety. Between dentists (cavity drilling), oral surgeons (root canals and such), injections DEEP into my hip (Demerol for migraines), removal of cyst on my shin, insertions of IVs, angioplasty exploration of heart valves, many nerve root block injections between my vertebrae, and many other things, I've been told over and over by doctors/nurses, "this won't hurt" or "you'll only feel a prick." Liars...they're all big, fat liars. I feel like showing them what a "little prick" feels like! Over the years, I've become less and less tolerant with those statements. So, I finally put my foot down!
This time, I'm sure the doctor (truly, he was very, very nice) "lied" to me like all the others, saying "I'll inject you will a local anesthetic and you'll only feel a little temporary pain. After that, you'll feel nothing during the procedure."
In the past, dentists have said that to me many times. The shot (injection of Novocain) hurt like I'd been shot by a .45 and didn't stop while he kept slowly (very slowly) injecting the "pain killer." Later, my tooth was supposed to be numb, but it wound up hurting so badly, I felt like assaulting the dentist and getting 5 years in prison would be worth it.
Back to the story. In that consultation a month ago, I explained my extreme anxiety of simple, routine procedures like this. He was kind enough to give me a prescription of Ativan to take the week prior to keep me calm and assist me in sleeping (Ambien wasn't doing the job). That is wonderful medication and I'll ask for it again! He asked that I take some a couple hours prior to the procedure and then when I arrived at his office. Trust me, after those pills, I didn't have any worries in the world.
But I didn't stop there, knowing what was coming. When his nurse brought be back to the "room" (torture chamber), I reiterated to her that I was scared spitless. That resulted in her having the doctor injecting something wonderful to relax me. I don't know what it was, but dang, I could have cared less if he wanted to perform a "Lorena Bobbit" procedure. Because I was anticipating (hoping) for such medication, I was smart enough to have brought my wife as a my designated driver. The doctor would never have administered such drugs if I was driving myself home.
The only pain I felt was the injection of that miracle drug into my arm...and that was one of the least painful shots I've ever had. A few minutes later, I didn't feel the injection of the local anesthetic (I didn't even know the shot was happening). During the surgery, I didn't feel a thing and I actually slept through part of it. Before I knew it, he was done and it was as pain free as I could have imagined!
Usually, he recommends Ibuprofen for pain and "sometimes writes a prescription for something stronger." Since he said there'd be some "discomfort" (note my previous comments that in doctor language, "discomfort" means I'm going to be screaming out in pain!), I asked for that prescription. He asked me what medications have helped me in the past. Since I'm already on a healthy daily regiment of opiates for disk problems, I explained that I have a tolerance built up to pain meds and that Vicodin ES (seems to be doctors' favorite medication for pain relief) no longer works for me (it really doesn't do a thing). So, he wrote a prescription for Perocet at what I think are aggressive doses and frequency.
Now, my kids get a sticker as a reward for being brave at the doctor/dentist. This time, my reward is 72 hours of consistent opiates (apparently I'm lucid enough to write...but uninhibited enough to write about such a private subject), all the TV/Movies I can endure (and that's a lot!!!), remaining on the couch unless I need to hit the restroom (or go to bed), truly sympathetic/compassionate/loving looks from my wife, have food served to me, and get all the hugs and kisses anyone could ever wish for.....oh, and periodic applications of ice (actually a package of frozen peas that my family has now chosen to never consume) inside my shorts.
Currently, there is no pain, only some minor tenderness in a typically tender area.
BTW...I wasn't going to let just any doctor perform this delicate surgery. I searched out the doctor with the best reputation in Seattle. Annually, a Seattle magazine publishes a list of the best doctors. The doctors vote for who they feel are the leading experts in specific areas of medicine...I found him on that list. He even served for many years as the chief of staff (over the department of his medical specialty) at Seattle's best hospital and he specializes in some very complex procedures (mine was just a weenie procedure compared to what he often performs).
Yes, I'll freely admit to being a "weenie," but if the result is a truly painless procedure, I'll be a weenie every time! I've promised myself that I'm going to be assertive at sharing my anxiety with my doctors/dentists and be vocal about wanting the ultimate in pain relief!
I would like this thread to remain in the Community Center, so please don't let it degrade to Whine & Cheese fodder!
Before I begin, so that you can understand the central purpose of this post, I should say that I have extreme anxiety about pain....call me a "weenie," if you must. I just don't have the "balls" for pain.
In the initial consultation last month, the doctor explained everything very thoroughly. I was impressed. But, as always, I kept my ears open for little statements about pain (the ones we've all heard about there only being minimal pain). He said that he would inject a local anesthetic that would make the procedure "virtually" (VIRTUALLY!!!!...yeh, right!) painless and that when the effects of that wore off, I should take Ibuprofen, apply an ice pack as needed, and be a couch potato for 72 hours. At the time of this writing, I'm at 42 hours.
Back to the anxiety. Between dentists (cavity drilling), oral surgeons (root canals and such), injections DEEP into my hip (Demerol for migraines), removal of cyst on my shin, insertions of IVs, angioplasty exploration of heart valves, many nerve root block injections between my vertebrae, and many other things, I've been told over and over by doctors/nurses, "this won't hurt" or "you'll only feel a prick." Liars...they're all big, fat liars. I feel like showing them what a "little prick" feels like! Over the years, I've become less and less tolerant with those statements. So, I finally put my foot down!
This time, I'm sure the doctor (truly, he was very, very nice) "lied" to me like all the others, saying "I'll inject you will a local anesthetic and you'll only feel a little temporary pain. After that, you'll feel nothing during the procedure."
In the past, dentists have said that to me many times. The shot (injection of Novocain) hurt like I'd been shot by a .45 and didn't stop while he kept slowly (very slowly) injecting the "pain killer." Later, my tooth was supposed to be numb, but it wound up hurting so badly, I felt like assaulting the dentist and getting 5 years in prison would be worth it.
Back to the story. In that consultation a month ago, I explained my extreme anxiety of simple, routine procedures like this. He was kind enough to give me a prescription of Ativan to take the week prior to keep me calm and assist me in sleeping (Ambien wasn't doing the job). That is wonderful medication and I'll ask for it again! He asked that I take some a couple hours prior to the procedure and then when I arrived at his office. Trust me, after those pills, I didn't have any worries in the world.
But I didn't stop there, knowing what was coming. When his nurse brought be back to the "room" (torture chamber), I reiterated to her that I was scared spitless. That resulted in her having the doctor injecting something wonderful to relax me. I don't know what it was, but dang, I could have cared less if he wanted to perform a "Lorena Bobbit" procedure. Because I was anticipating (hoping) for such medication, I was smart enough to have brought my wife as a my designated driver. The doctor would never have administered such drugs if I was driving myself home.
The only pain I felt was the injection of that miracle drug into my arm...and that was one of the least painful shots I've ever had. A few minutes later, I didn't feel the injection of the local anesthetic (I didn't even know the shot was happening). During the surgery, I didn't feel a thing and I actually slept through part of it. Before I knew it, he was done and it was as pain free as I could have imagined!
Usually, he recommends Ibuprofen for pain and "sometimes writes a prescription for something stronger." Since he said there'd be some "discomfort" (note my previous comments that in doctor language, "discomfort" means I'm going to be screaming out in pain!), I asked for that prescription. He asked me what medications have helped me in the past. Since I'm already on a healthy daily regiment of opiates for disk problems, I explained that I have a tolerance built up to pain meds and that Vicodin ES (seems to be doctors' favorite medication for pain relief) no longer works for me (it really doesn't do a thing). So, he wrote a prescription for Perocet at what I think are aggressive doses and frequency.
Now, my kids get a sticker as a reward for being brave at the doctor/dentist. This time, my reward is 72 hours of consistent opiates (apparently I'm lucid enough to write...but uninhibited enough to write about such a private subject), all the TV/Movies I can endure (and that's a lot!!!), remaining on the couch unless I need to hit the restroom (or go to bed), truly sympathetic/compassionate/loving looks from my wife, have food served to me, and get all the hugs and kisses anyone could ever wish for.....oh, and periodic applications of ice (actually a package of frozen peas that my family has now chosen to never consume) inside my shorts.
Currently, there is no pain, only some minor tenderness in a typically tender area. BTW...I wasn't going to let just any doctor perform this delicate surgery. I searched out the doctor with the best reputation in Seattle. Annually, a Seattle magazine publishes a list of the best doctors. The doctors vote for who they feel are the leading experts in specific areas of medicine...I found him on that list. He even served for many years as the chief of staff (over the department of his medical specialty) at Seattle's best hospital and he specializes in some very complex procedures (mine was just a weenie procedure compared to what he often performs).
Yes, I'll freely admit to being a "weenie," but if the result is a truly painless procedure, I'll be a weenie every time! I've promised myself that I'm going to be assertive at sharing my anxiety with my doctors/dentists and be vocal about wanting the ultimate in pain relief!
I would like this thread to remain in the Community Center, so please don't let it degrade to Whine & Cheese fodder!
I have been "favoring" that area, not pushing things farther than minimally required. Actually, standing up without utilizing extreme care has been the most uncomfortable.
