Most disgusting thing people have done with the knife they borrowed from you.

R

rykken

Joined
Jul 8, 1999
Messages
27
Once I was on a composition roof preparing to paint an adjacent wall. A fellow painter asked to borrow my small Swiss Army to cut a plastic tarp. He then placed the tarp on the comp roof and cut it, using the roof as backing. Kinda made myself and the knife a little rough for awhile. This guy was not too sharp.
 
I've never lent a knife to anyone who did something disgusting with it, but once I did something pretty gross with a knife that I had borrowed. Because of the vile nature of this act, the party that loaned the knife shall remain anonymous;

I once used the large blade on a SAK to stir rotten sourpuss, unbeknownst to it's owner, who later used the knife to cut the cheese.

That's one of the worst things I've ever done in my life.
 
Well, my mom dropped my Vaquero onn a tile floor dead on the tip, but that was an accident for which I can forgive her. My dad, who's in the army reserves, is missing the flat screwdriver on his leatherman PST because he loanes to some goofball who tried to clear a jammed round in an M16 with it. It snapped right off, then the guy started to get out one of the other tools to pry with! Dad stopped him before he could do any more damage.

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Just because I talk to myself doesn't mean I'm crazy. What's wrong with getting a second opinion?
 
Gave my wife an elegant little Case trapper, which she then used to dig potatoes. Sigh. (We're still married, 30+ now.)
 
Stir warmed MREs.
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"Women bring life into the world
and much death, for they sway the
destinies of men." -Anneas
 
Snickersnee,

I just gotta know - what is sourpuss? I think I grok cutting the cheese, however. At least you didn't use it to slice brown air, huh??
 
I let a friend of mine see a BRAND NEW, factory sharp Spyderco Delica... He dropped it on my foot, he didn't expect it to be so light. It went straight through my shoe and sock, and went about three MMs into my foot. Thank god it didn't go any farther.

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Robert Joseph Ansbro

If it can be written, or thought, it can be filmed.
-Stanley Kubrick, 1928-1999
 
A friend of mine borrowed my BM Panther, my trusted pal since long(the knife, not him..)

He cut some stale bread, which wasn't the easiest thing, and he got quite mad and started stabbing the the bread with brute force.
What he didn't know was that under the tablecloth there were solid marble, resulting in a QUITE dull tip.
I wanted to strangle him, but I got hold of my furious anger and calmed down...
I will never ever borrow him my knife again.

Ciao from a very hot Italy


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Tea drinker and hellraiser from Northern Sweden, above the arctic circle.


 
I heard about alchemy when I was quite young, and was rather taken with the idea of spontaneous generation of life and the homonculus.

(A homonculus is a human that is neither concieved nor gestated in a human female, but rather the product of wierd chemical concoctions and odd procedures)

Anyway, I read about this stuff and thought I'd try my hand at spontaneously generating life, or even making a homonculus. I drank a soda.

I then took the soda bottle(glass) and filled it half way with water. My family was going on a road trip that summer, and every time we stopped I found a little something special to put in that bottle. Dead animals, weird goo from under counters of resturants, grit and soot, chemicals, that sort of thing.
I kept it hidden in an out of the way corner in the back of the van. It stewed.

Someone found it after a few weeks, and I don't know if it was alive but something was forming in there, and the concerned party wanted me to toss it, which I wouldn't stand for.

So we needed a name for this real gross thing that little Nick was keeping in a bottle, and since it was rotten, and nothing you'd want to drink, and I got rather irate when someone tried to take it from me, it got dubbed "rotten sourpuss".

When we got home early that fall they made me keep it outside, but it only lasted a few days till the pressure inside from all the decay finaly made it rupture. To this day grass does not grow in the scene of the crime.

True story;

Anyway, half way through this trip, everybody decided they were going to buy a big cheese wheel for lunch for some damn reason, and they need a knife to cut it. The anonymous party had lent me their SAK, and I'd been periodicaly opening and stirring the rotten sourpuss with it in order to help my homonculus along.

It's worth noting that only one person, the owner of the knife, knew what rotten sourpuss was at this point...

Well, I tried to tell everybody that they didn't want to eat anything that'd been cut with the knife, and that I for damn sure wasn't going to, but they kept telling me to shut my trap and let them eat lunch and if I didn't want any cheese too bad.

Well, by then they'd finished cutting the cheese and were in the act of eating it, I spoke up once again to warn them, when one turned around, chewing cheese as she spoke and said "Shut up! We're eating!", I replied "but, but, THE ROTTEN SOURPUSS!".

Well, the person who knew what that was just froze right there with this expression of pure dread on his face while everyone stopped what they were doing and looked to him for an explanation.

It was about then that I produced the bottle from it's secret hiding spot.

So that's the legend of the rotten sourpuss, and one of the worst things I've ever done to anyone, and the most disgusting thing I've ever done with a knife.

Now that you know what rotten sourpuss is, you can start a roadtrip tradition with your families.
 
Because most people know that I am a knife-nut, I am asked many times for a knife to use...and I feel like an idiot having to ask "What for?" so instead I carry a loaner knife, one that they can cut whatever they want and I don't care. All this because I too have had someone use my knife for some un-godly use, while I just watched in horror like it was a utility blade or something.
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~Keith~

[This message has been edited by Kdarmy (edited 05 August 1999).]
 
It is not good when something that you have loaned is left at the scene of a crime. Even if it was used in self defense and injuries were relatively minor. It did get me my friend back. PS this was a long, long, time ago, in a jurisdiction far, far, away (well beyond any statute of limitations).
 
I wasn't disgusted, but nevertheless thought the world had come to a screeching end when I saw my wife opening oysters with a .... Cold Steel Voyager tanto folder. She had seen these handy oyster knives in a kitchen catalogue and used the thing which in her opinion matched that design best. Fortunately this was the only low value folder I had lying around. Surprisingly enough she didn’t cut herself with the serrated main edge and the tip of the blade had some minor nicks but was still in pretty good shape.
 
Not a loan exactly, but a misused knife in the kitchen. I left my 16 year old to carve a brisket I had cooked. The next day I found out how he'd done it. He took a medium sized Spyderco kitchen knife (with a smooth MBS-26 alloy blade) and sliced the meat without removing it from the cast iron roasting pan. I had just got this knife and the previous night I had sharpened it to be the sharpest kitchen knife I had ever seen. It was like a straight razor. Steve had completely wiped out the edge by sawing it across the edge of the cast iron pan. It went from my sharpest knife to my dullest in 10 minutes flat. It took me 1/2 hour to get it back to where it was.

[This message has been edited by Jeff Clark (edited 05 August 1999).]
 
My father once asked to borrow my sharpening stone and returned it with a deep groove in it, going diagonally across. Turned out he'd just bought a cheap two-bladed slip-joint and broken off the tip of one blade to use it for a screwdriver and borrowed my stone to dull the edge, which he did by rubbing it in one place to make a groove in the stone....

That qualifies as both one of the more disgusting things to do to a knife and the most disgusting thing to do to a stone I've ever heard of.... Of course it didn't make a good screwdriver and soon broke.

Since then I have not loaned a sharpening stone to anyone. Not long after that I quit loaning knives except to a few people ... I keep an acute polished edge on my carry knife and so many people used it for things like cutting steel wire, using a rock for a cutting board, etc. I am willing to cut things for people and sharpen knives for people but not to loan my knives or my stones. I am not even willing to let them use it right in front of me; I have discovered they can ruin an edge faster than I can say, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo!"

-Cougar Allen :{)
 
One of my friends asked to borrow my knife and before I knew what I was doing I was handing him my Mini-Socom. Just in time I asked what he was going to use it for and he calmly said, pry off the back to my watch. "Give me back my knife you ass", was my reply and promptly gave him my Micra to accomplish his task. I could just see the tip of my Mini-Socom snapping. Sends cold chills down my back to think what could have been. I always ask what they want my knife for now before lending it to anyone.

John
 
Now you know why I never loan knives to folks. If they want something done that needs my knife, I'll do it. My son lent his SwissChamp to some clown down at William & Mary and it was returned so badly screwed up that he threw it away. He doesn't loan knives anymore!

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Walk in the Light,
Hugh


 
I lent my NIB (but often carried) Benchmade 350bt to a friend who needed a knife to cut a small slit in a piece of paper for a model rocket. When I got it back, the last 1/2" of edge near the tip of the blade was VERY dull. He had laid the paper down on a metal table, and then slit the paper! When I took it back from him, he was just non-chaulantely loaning it to someone else to do the same thing with! To this day, even though I've sharpened the edge, the pocket clip has an Epoxy fingerprint on it as clear as day which I cannot get off.

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!!! Loca Grande !!!

[This message has been edited by Stompy (edited 05 August 1999).]
 
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