Most Embarrassing Knife Moments 2

I had just started carrying my Spyderco endura in my left pocket as a backup defense knife. While working the late night shift the dispatcher asked me to man the radio and phones while he hit the head. I though what a perfect time to practice my edge-up quick draw. I had done the draw about ten times perfectly and decided to speed up the motion. I'm still not sure what I did wrong but I felt my thumb hit the edge as I went to a fighting grip. I looked down and could see a large flap of loose skin on my thumb, with blood everywhere. I thought "This is bad!" I went to push the flap down and it fell off, leaving a dime sized hole in the side of my thumb. "This is very bad!" I realized I could not leave until the dispatcher returned and all I had was some tissues to stop the flow. "This is getting worse by the minute!" When the dispatcher finally returned he found me with a baseball sized wad of dripping, blood soaked tissues around my thumb. He absolutely freaked! He wanted to call out the entire aid unit. I talked him out of it and had the on-call doc bandage me up. Oh yeah, I forget the flap of skin on the floor and the disaptcher wouldn't touch it, so he just stared at it the rest of the night until the next guy came on and trashed it.
 
Hey JayHawk...umm...could I maybe...you know...borrow that SAK for the weekend?
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Wow, I'm impressed by the number of embarrassing incidents that involve cutting oneself with a knife. My fun moment happened a few years back when I was in high school. A female friend of mine needed a something to cut articles out of some newspapers and asked me if I had scissors or a knife she could use. Knowing that my keychain SAK wouldn't work, I handed her my mini-AFCK after making sure that there was nobody else near us in the school library. She freaked a bit and was like "Oh my God! Jesus Christ what the hell are you doing in school with that thing??!!" She calmed down before attracting any attention, but I kept getting strange looks from her for the next couple days.
 
As for accidental cuttings, I bet most embarrassing incidents with firearms involve accidental discharges....

My knife embarrasment was About 1974. I had a big, cheap 007 folder (wooden handle maybe a 5 1/2 blade) which I could flick open, which I had had for about 3 years at that point.

One night we all had finished work (I worked in a supermarket) and cleaned up. About 7 of us were standing around having the traditional end of the day refresher, 4 little 7 oz. Bud. nips each that we always finished the night with. We finished and the manager "buried" the empty case in a box of card board which I went to tie up. I tied it, and I pulled out this knife to cut the string. I went to flick it open and the wood that held the pivot point broke. The blade flew across the store and hit the glass in the deli case. Spider webbed it good. I caught much abuse over that...
 
I'd say it was about two months ago. I was in my Wednesday-night-youth-group thingy, and my Whirlwind clipped in my watch pocket. After having recieved some abuse over a 2.5" folder, I wasn't gonna use the WW. But some idiot grabbs at it while I was sitting down. Somehow, the thing ends up three feet away, and this one sheeple kid is like "awwww...".

The kid who did it wasn't too scared.

Either he opened it, and wasn't expecting the spring, or it flew, and opened on impact. I think he did it.

~Whirlwind~

Should I get a different name?

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While lying in bed watching TV with my wife playing with my (then new) Leatherman Wave. Wifey says to put the damn thing away to which I replied in a sarcastic tone that I knew what I was doing. You guessed it,I cut the dogdo out of my finger and had to run bleeding to the bathroom followed by raucous laughter from you know who. No more playing with knives in bed. Weldonk
 
About 18 years ago, while I was still trying to get this girl to go out with me (eventually she did go out with me and even walked down the aisle with me and is still with me [perhaps she's a glutton for punishment?]). She and another girl were in an outdoor kitchen cutting raw sweet potatoes for our meal. Naturally I wanted to impress her, and picked up a 'makeshift' knife (not mine), and began slicing away at mounds of sweet potatoes.

"You'd better watch what you're doing," she warned.

"Who? Me? Not a problem! I'm great with knives!" I smiled at her broadly as I sliced into the sweet potatoe and into my thumb. It was a deep cut and the blood gushed. I couldn't get it to stop bleeding. She and her friend tried to help me and ran cold water on it. Still it gushed. We tried holding a handkerchief on it. Still it poured blood. I started to get woozy, and eventually blacked out.

According to her story, (My! Does she love to tell it to everyone who asks about the beginning of our relationship! :0), I landed on a puppy, who wailed like it was dying (OK, so I'm a tad on the heavy side!), and scratched her several times as she tried to free it from my backside. Finally she freed the puppy and the other girl had called for help, and eventually (as I remember) they stopped the bleeding and I regained consciousness. :0

Since then, she almost always brings it up when I grab a knife (several times a day not counting the times she doesn't see me!) ("Careful now, remember what happened before!").

"Sweetheart, that was 18 years ago! I was just trying to impress you!"

"I'm still impressed," she says. "I'm impressed with the fact that you're not careful enough when handling a knife! Maybe you're not CUT out to be a knife fanatic. You're not graceful enough!"

"OK, I'll become a gun fanatic instead," I counter.

"Forget the guns. Just be careful, OK?"

That was my most embarrassing knife experience. And what made it even more embarrassing, was that it wasn't even a class kind of knife! I mean, I've cut myself several times since, but at least it's been with "Namebrand" bladeware!
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Champions make improvements as fast as losers make excuses.
 
Wow, Champ... that's a good one!

My most embarrassing knife experience was when I was trying to show off a few knife handling moves with an Al Mar warrior (switching from a saber to a reverse grip in a quick little rotation).

Well, I slipped up a bit and after the unintentional juggling show was over, the knife lay on the ground an inch from my foot and my hand had two bloody "bites" on it from the sharp serrations along the spine.

My friend Bill pointed at me and laughed.
 
I had just got a brand new Swiss army knife. I was in the car, one of my friends was driving. So I started to explore the functions of the knife. I took out the can opener, and proceeded to tell my friend how crappy the can openers work. How they are dull and can usually not even cut a piece of paper. And what happens, next no sooner than I take it out, I slice my thumb open on it! The dam can opener was sharper than the main blade. After that I have had more respect of can openers.

THANKS!!!

-NAN-

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-War alone keys up all human energies to their maximum tension and sets the seal of nobility on those people who have the courage to face it -Benito Mussolini-
 
There are so many. Embarassing is when I go to work and my coworkers say, "Cut yourself again, Dean?"

I thought that was bad, but when someone asked me what costume I was going to wear for Halloween, I said, "I'm going to come as the Dean of the Future!"

The witty reply to that was, "Oh, I see, you'll have bandages on ALL your fingers."

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Dean


 
I had just bought a Commander and with all my knives was screwing around with it. I had been messing around with it for a day or two, flipping the knife open, using the wave, and who knows what else. A few friends and I were watching a movie. Everyone was making jokes and paying more attention to the conversation than the movie. There I sat with the Commander in hand and the blade out. I was making some sort of joke and went to scratch the back of my head with the hand that held the Commander. Well for some reason I couldn't quite reach the itch, my hand sort of came to an abrupt stop. It took me a moment before I realized I had driven the tip of the knife into my ear. Aparantly ears like to bleed, because mine bled for a while. Of course everyone was rolling on the ground whaling. One would assume that after so many run-ins with sharp edges and skin I would figure out to stop messing around, but what fun would that be?
Matthew



[This message has been edited by LongRifle (edited 01-15-2001).]
 
A number of years ago, I took my dogs over to the school where the "dog group" congregated late in the afternoon. This was in the dead of winter and there was at least 8" of compacted snow on the ground. Many of the dogs liked to fetch balls and so forth. In those days, I used to carry a large AFCK in my back right pocket. I remember throwing a tennis ball for a bunch of dogs--my dog came back with the ball and a husky came back with my AFCK, blade out and locked up! I really caught hell from the dog's owner. And to this day, I have no explaination how I launched both the ball and the knife.
Barry H
 
I've posted this before, but this topic is just perfect for this story, so here goes.

I was @ 15 (things that long ago are hard for us old guys to remember- I'm 23 but I got called old today by this teenage moron :-), and I had recently acquired a hibben throwing knife. After carefully inspecting everything it came in/with, I headed outside to practice.
I was looking for a good target for my newly acquired ninja-like skills (I read the directions printed on the box), when I spy the family cat. With that tingling on the back of the neck that every child gets, I looked to my right into the kitchen window(after having perfectly targeted the cat for skewering), and notice my mother staring at me with THE LOOK.
You know, the one that says "I can't stop you in time, but if you do it I'll beat you senseless." So, I sheepishly turn to find another target(I honestly wasn't out to get the cat, I just got caught up in the hunting urge). I settled on a tree.
Carefully, I paced out the distance to the tree, turned, threw as hard as I could and released. The silver gleam of that knife flying through the air is something I'll never forget. The throw was perfect, the knife rotated perfectly. While I'm not positive (things happened kind of fast here) what exactly happened, this is what I was able to piece together later.
Trees are not flat. There I said it, trees are round. I assume that for one breif instant, the planets must have come into alignment, throwing off the balance of gravity just enough to turn the tip of my thrower about four degrees off center. I stared in horror as this perfect thrower fulcrumed (new verb there) against the tree, and turned 180 degrees, to come straight back and imbed itself in my thigh, @ two inches above my right knee.
I was so shocked that my throw actually stuck, I just stared at the knife in my leg for @ 30 seconds, thinking "I'm good!" My mental celebration was shattered by an earsplitting scream from the kitchen window. Apparently mom had seen the whole thing.
Trying to control the dammage here (I was more worried she would take my knife than I was about the knife protruding from my leg) I just grabbed the knife and jerked it out. Of course this was about the time mom came out the door, and blood just poured out.
Long story short, two stitches later I was back out there at the tree with a new found respect for my throwing knife. I did get revenge against the tree also. After three months of intensive throwing practice, a sheet (and I mean a large sheet) of bark just fell off when I pulled out the knife, exposing the shredded core of the tree. Alas it was a mortal wound, and the tree eventually died, but I only have a tiny scar>:)

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"I can go over to your mama's house, and start a small fire in her panties." -G. Busey
 
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