No however it would seem that I am blissfully ignorant of much of what goes on around me. This is even more evident when the topic turns to the mechanical and specific jargon. Let me give you an example ( and change the subject, I must never use the term multi tasking even as a joke again. ) a friend of mine recently found a heavy bag at a garage sale and since the gym I go to ( GOLDS) is remodeling naturally the one item removed was the heavy bag. it seems if you do not have a bottle of water in your hand while doing some sort of unnatural gyration ( pilates ???) if you wear sweat pants and sneakers ala Rocky versus a speedo and if a woman something called a sports bra. ( modern version of an over the shoulder boulder holder ) and prefer hitting the heavy bag you are looked at ( perhapes correctly ) as a throwback. I also have no tattoos or earrings.
So I have been looking for a bag to put up. Since I have been alone the last couple of years the A frame I used for hanging deer has fallen into disrepair. So since I no longer really need all the meat I used to process, I thought the A frame fixed up would make a dandy hanger for the heavy bag. So in the 100 degree 90 percent humidity I commenced my project. The first part of this was to replace the 10 year old ropes which run off each side of the a frame to stabilize it. After digging out a spool of chain which would probably hold up the Golden gate bridge I proceded to use a come along and turn buckles and other great stuff that really my just being near is dangerous for me. So any way I get both cables on and secured I run out a turn buckle as far as it will go which is in the middle of the cable This will allow the final adjusting and tightening. So at 3 PM in the broiling sun, wearing a long sleeve sweat out fit ( to protect from poison IVY which abounds) . I procede to the top of my ladder to crank down the turnbuckle frankly I was pretty proud. Then with one twist of my hand I turned the turn buckle the wrong way and it came apart. The weight of the A frame ( which was considerable ) immediately since the other side was guide up tight started to pull the structure down ( with considerable force ) with me on the ladder top, arms out stretched with one hand holding one side of the cable in my left hand ( a frame side) and the other side which was attached to a tree I was sort of like Jesus without a cross. All this because I was not clever enough to turn the turnbuckle in the correct direction. Of course as usual I was alone. Now while standing upon the ladder outstretched in the oppresive heat in sweat clothes, being drawn an quartered from the pull of the cables, and now having been joined by several varietys of flying insects ( how do they know when you don't have a free hand to swat them ) Many things went through my mind. Strangly my reaction, at this point was to start giggling insanely. I though how appropriate the situation was for an idiot like myself to attempt this UNDERTAKING ( good word ) alone, and it struck me as quite humorous. I wish someone would have stopped in right at that moment for seeing me in that position and laughing I am sure I would have been committed and if put in an institution I would no longer have to cook my own dinner so I felt that would have been positive. I managed to drop the tree side cable and some how hold on to the a frame side just enough that it did not collapse I could then secure the chain and er start over. I took to day off since I could not sleep last night due to the pain in my back from being drawn and quartered. My arms now are long enough that my knuckles scrape the floor when my arms hang down. I just thought I would relate this commentary in case I have done permanent internal injury to myself I want a record of what had caused my demise. By the way turn buckles turn to the right to tighten I know that now. But again with my mechanical ability I got confused since there is a screw on each side and I could not under stand how they could both screw in at the same time ( a conceptual problem I have now over come since I no longer care how it works just that it does. )
So as you see Phil computers there jargon ect are well beyond my knowledge they are simply relegated to the realm of magic. LT
