W
Whiskey_n_wine
Beautiful knife!
Make yourself use it.
Otherwise, what’s the sense?
Break it in as follows.
Adhere strictly to the guide lines, or the knife will be ruined.
Drag it through a stick of warm butter length ways. To help slide the new the new off of it.
Next slice and and sauté some bacon to both rust proof and flavor it.
Then thinly slice some onions and add them to the bacon when it’s almost done.
They will mask your scent and make you a great hunter,
Now, scramble 3 Rhode Island Red eggs, and swirl the blade in the mixture. The protien will bond with the blade and make it impervious to solar flares.
Dice up the bacon nice and small. Add the RIRs
Heat the mixture outside, over an open wood fire. The fire should consist only of seasoned cherry wood. The pan should be cast iron. Prefferably older than you are.
While that is heating. Thinly slice Vermont Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese into long thin slices. Cabot Hunter’s Cheese will work in a pinch.
It is imperative that the label on the cheese wrapper be oriented north to south. You don’t want East/West Cheese. Bad JuJu!
Once the eggs are almost set.
Say the Magic Words while sprinkling the cheese over the eggs with your left hand.
At the same time, hold your knife inverted, blade facing down and out, in your right hand. Moving it in a slow stabbing motion three times, while simultaneously uttering the words “Big Deal” “Big Deal” “Big Deal” to match each downward thrust. You may see some lightning, that’s normal.
Do not even attempt this unless you are committed. There is no reversal spell.
If you did everything right. Your new Old School Lady Finger is now ready to take on the world!
There is an alternative method. But it’s dangerous, and not for the faint of heart.
It involves fire and beef,
A “Witch Doctor from Helsinki” and copious amounts of alcohol!
***But it still comes down to the cheese in the end.
You have to properly orient the cheese man!
North to South. There is no other way!
Welcome to the Hotel Fiddleback!
You can check out, but you can never leave.
Good Luck,
LV,