Stacy, as a father to a son, I cannot possibly imagine the mix of loss and pride you feel after yesterday. I'm sitting here at work reading your comments and trying very hard not to put myself mentally in your shoes. I don't think I could bear up under it.
May the God of peace and all love give you strength as you move forward in the days to come. My wife has at times asked me how she's suppose to keep going after a close loss or a particularly hard day with her illnesses. She's a very black-or-white type of person and places high expectations on herself. My response to her is that she doesn't have meet any expectations or live up to some ideal. No, all she has to do is put one foot in front of the other and simply survive.
Keep stepping, Stacy, and though the storm will never entirerly abate, its fury will eventually ease. Prayers for you.
--nathan