O Well

JTknives

JTknives

Joined
Jun 11, 2006
Messages
8,651
well yesterday my wife filed for devorce. we are still going to be frends as i shared a large part of my life with her. I think it will still take some time to not feal weird togather and not be maried. I have been ok but sometimes ill hear a song or see somthing that reminds me of an important memory and ill get depressed for like a day and a half. like today i was going through some cds and came accross are wedding song :(. In the end i do beleve this is whats best for both of us but its so hard and painfull. its hard to convince my self that somthing thats so painfull is the right option. but then agen she was not happy. O well what can i do. one day at a time. for some reasion it has been so hard to get my self to work on any knives at all. I realy want to thank every one on here for all the addvice, comments, emails, phone numbers, and condolanices. it has ment the world to me and has made things a bit easyer to beer. I realy am thankfull for the stories of your past expericenes and how you delt with them. THank you everyone so much i mean it with my whole heart. :o
 
Well, it takes a while to get over stuff like this and get your wheels back on. It will glare at you sometimes like the CD, but, that will get less and less and thing will become "normal" again. Give yourself a break but, try to keep your head in the right place and good luck with what ever you do. Jim
 
Just keep chugging along...remember the good but don't forget the bad and be thankful for the future.
 
JT i was on that path with this wife of 35 years and i needed help and my friend could show me how to get it right. i after getting rid of my ego and i ask my wife if she would try the load with me and she said we could try that , so we did.
we have been with God now for about three years, and its working as long as we put him first.
no i'm not a bible thumper just letting you know it really works, but you have to loose your ego. god will take care of rest
vern
 
Jarod,

Hang in there and have faith that you will get over this and you will get better. Change habits that may bring back memories, listen to new radio stations, rent only new releases.

In the mean time, work on new stuff and don't forget to visit us here. I spent many nights during and after my divorce reading the antics of IG and the rest of the crew.

Joe
 
Try looking at the green grass growing in your yard and not at your neighbors!
Some things happen for a reason and maybe this is one of them? Just remember to keep your head up and look for the good in things and enjoy the stuff you had wanted to!
Maybe something good will come of this for you? I truly hope so and wish you the best!

In my line of work divorce seems common place (military and a lot of time away from home). I have a friend who is currently going through a divorce which is difficult since he has two daughters!

I truly wish you the best.

Very Respectfully,
Stefan
 
Well I'm sorry it didn't work out, glad to hear from you though :)

We're all here for you when you need us.
 
Screw that "We are still going to be friends" bullsh*t. So she still gets to have you in her life (the way that she wants to still have you, in whatever box she wants to put you in), and still have all kinds of boyfriends, too? Boy, life's good for her, right? She gets the best of everything, right?
She made the choice; i.e., no more JT. Now let her live with her choice.
Get the best female attorney that you can afford, take her to the cleaners, and move on. (without her)
I wouldn't give her the time of day after this.
- Mitch
 
Troop said:
Screw that "We are still going to be friends" bullsh*t. So she still gets to have you in her life (the way that she wants to still have you, in whatever box she wants to put you in), and still have all kinds of boyfriends, too? Boy, life's good for her, right? She gets the best of everything, right?
She made the choice; i.e., no more JT. Now let her live with her choice.
Get the best female attorney that you can afford, take her to the cleaners, and move on. (without her)
I wouldn't give her the time of day after this.
- Mitch
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I agree, put her on ignore. It's a tough thing to go through but you know what? There are about a bazillionumpteentrillion babes just waiting for you out there! Pretty soon you'll narrow it down to one and you'll wonder what you ever saw in her. Been there.
 
Well, I'm sorry to hear it for you J. Nothing I can tell you will help. Plain old stinks.
 
Yeah bud, I don't want to seem...mean I guess would be a good word, but I agree with Mitch. You are a good guy and you will find another. If this one wants to live without you then just let her go. If you stay friends then you will continually be in pain. This will make it near impossible to find a better woman for you. Do what's right for YOU not her. I wish you the best, and hope you find something good in your future very soon.

-Mike Sheffield
 
Good to hear from you JT, sorry it is not the result you want. Just have to keep on keeping on. Just remember, when you feel you are ready to move on, Happy Valley may have many faults, but it is the land of milk and honey when it comes to the ladies, "where the beer flows like wine" to quote a famous philosopher.
 
JTknives said:
well yesterday my wife filed for devorce. we are still going to be frends as i shared a large part of my life with her. I think it will still take some time to not feal weird togather and not be maried. I have been ok but sometimes ill hear a song or see somthing that reminds me of an important memory and ill get depressed for like a day and a half.
Click to expand...


I know how you feel and it sucks.

Don't let her use you bro. When you let em walk away and forget 'em, they almost always come back. Then YOU are the one who decides.

It sucks until it truly sinks in that you are free. FREE. Let me repeat that.... FREEEEEEEEE.

Focus on what makes you tick. Run wild with your ambitions now that you are not restrained. You can go ANYWHERE and do ANYTHING with ANYONE... and you don't have to apologize for a bit of it!

Go out and fully realize your potential. Show yourself just how great your work can be. Find new markets. Go on some great hunts!

Hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20 right? Don't even think about the ladies for a while. Have a good time and do good works.

When you get where you need to be, they will come to you to the point of annoyance some times.
 
Every break up I've ever been through, I came out the other side because of one concept.

Time....Distance....Lack of Communication.

I didn't realize it until I was told this by a friend, but that's what gets you totally over it. If you don't go through the above process, it's like picking open a scabbed over wound over and over and over. Let yourself heal, because unless you've got kids together, it will not benefit you in any way to stay close. All it will do is keep you on the edge of anticipation and hoping that the two of you will reconcile. I pray to God that you do, but don't put yourself in a harmful cycle waiting for her to come around. Let it go. Let her go. If it is going to work out, it will have to be worked through in her life. Nothing you do will change that. Let yourself heal and don't make the efforts from here on out. Let her do it. She made the decision to leave, reguardless of the circumstances behind it. Ball's in her court.

I didn't like hearing that, but after picking open my own wounds several times, the pain became bitterness, and I was able to move on. And that's when I started finally feeling better. There were still moments, but overall it made the difference.

God bless you, and I pray your heart finds peace in all of this. I'm getting married to a wonderful woman in October, and if it hadn't been for heartache in my life and heartache in her life, we never would have been able to find each other. God's got a plan, and it will play no matter what may come.

--nathan
 
Troop said:
Screw that "We are still going to be friends" bullsh*t. So she still gets to have you in her life (the way that she wants to still have you, in whatever box she wants to put you in), and still have all kinds of boyfriends, too? Boy, life's good for her, right? She gets the best of everything, right?
She made the choice; i.e., no more JT. Now let her live with her choice.
Get the best female attorney that you can afford, take her to the cleaners, and move on. (without her)
I wouldn't give her the time of day after this.
- Mitch
Click to expand...

Beile said:
I agree, put her on ignore. It's a tough thing to go through but you know what? There are about a bazillionumpteentrillion babes just waiting for you out there! Pretty soon you'll narrow it down to one and you'll wonder what you ever saw in her. Been there.
Click to expand...

as someone that went through much the same thing, I cant help but agree in concept with the above
 
as someone that went through much the same thing, I cant help but agree in concept with the above
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Same here. If you try to remain friends, you will never get over her. Give yourself a reasonable mourning period, then (cold as this may sound) FORGET her and move on with your life.
 
a bit easyer to beer.
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:eek::D

JT, I don't have a first hand education in the fine art of divorce so i can't even try to offer advice or pretend to understand. That said, for what it is worth, I get tons of learning and entertainment from your posts here and do look forward to reading them when you have been around. I am sorry to hear that your life is crappy right now, and sincerely hope that it does get better. Please stay in touch with those here!

Matt
 
Just sign the divorce and move on. Trying to make the relationship work by staying friends is unlikely to work out and the friendship will just ring hollow.

If a friendship should redevelop it will first take some time being away from each other for a period of time. If it does, go easy either the relationship will grow, or just dry up.
 
Bufford said:
Just sign the divorce and move on. Trying to make the relationship work by staying friends is unlikely to work out and the friendship will just ring hollow.

If a friendship should redevelop it will first take some time being away from each other for a period of time. If it does, go easy either the relationship will grow, or just dry up.
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thats how i feal, just right now every time she calls i feal the pain. but it seames like she doesent. maybe she does and where both pretending its not painfull. i did sign the papers and we waved the 90 day waiting period. so it could be finle on monday when the juge gets back to town. the weird thing is that we both still love each other but i gess thats not enought to hold a marige togather. its funny because some times she will get on my case about somthing and now im like pufh i dont have to take that :rolleyes:. its also funny because when she gets on my case about somthing like not returning her messages it makes a little more of the sadness go away. but i dont think devorce needs to end with both people haiting each other. i mean if the reasion for the devorce was hate then thats diffrent. but if 2 people are just to diffrent and cannot work togeather and its talked over i feal theres no reasion for the hait. but it still is very sad. thanks for all the help
 
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