O Well

Absolutely, there need be no hate in all of this. Sometimes things just don't work for two people. When you say love isn't enough for a marriage, I think you hit it on the head. The other thing it takes is deep commitment from both people. Marriage isn't about the emotional part of love. It's the commitment and oath you swore to each other to dedicate your life towards the other that will hold you together when things really suck. When one person breaks that covenant and selfishly looks within, it can easily tear the other partner apart.

I've experienced the same thing after break ups where my ex seemingly feels no pain, but it's like a knife in your heart every time you hear their voice (until time and something better comes along :) ). I don't understand how some of them do it. Then again, I've seen women experience the same heartlessness from their ex's. Human beings have the most complex relationships in creation, and it's really a wonder any of us work out to begin with.

--nathan
 
JT,

I don't know you but I've had this problem with women until my wife came along- i.e. I only dated the wrong ones. Trying to stay friends after a permanent break up never worked out for me- the only people the friends thing seems to work out for are the ones that wanted to end the relationship in the first place. The only way to stay friends with a person that no longer wants a full relationship with you is to deceive yourself and deep down you will fight that lie. There is no need to be friends unless there are children involved. If you haven't changed your personality or developed a bad habit like doing meth or crack and trading her or her car for those drugs, or gotten physical with her...then there isn't a problem with you- its her and how she wants to live your lives.

My dad told me that there isn't a thing you can do about how women feel about you past your money, hygene and how you treat them and the women that the money really matters to aren't worth paying for. He couldn't make a profit with that wisdom cause its too short for a book on women and no one pays for something they don't like to hear. To paraphrase Plato or one of those other greeks, live your life so that none may speak ill of you without lying, but make some distance and new connections off your path as a couple. Opposites attract, but the right hand fits poorly in the left glove. The right fit is probably someone who's personality fits yours, not an opposite.

On the bright side, Delve as far into your craft as you can, make time for yourself and all of the things you like to do, talk to God if you haven't lately and things will develop when the "right one". I had to go through a bunch of crappy relationships and so did my wife- including one divorce til we found each other. I firmly believe that you are making room for the "right one" to come into your life.

Things do get a lot better.

Elias
 
I'm sorry to hear about that bro, I've always been an admirer of your work, your good man.

I remember my last heart break, did it suck. I had to do something about it, get my mind right, feel better. I got into my work big time, I really worked out, ate right and man did I feel better, and it opened a lot of other doors for me, life was good again.

May the sun shine on you again, and the good things in life be yours again...
 
No does someone contact him on a regular basis? I'd like to know how he is fairing. If anyone lives close maybe you should take him out for a beer. It's a tough thing he is going through.
 
Gotta agree with all those that said "walk on". The only other thing I would add is don't agree to anything as far terms go which are based on the assumption that you will stay friends. That ship will sail as soon as it works out to her financial benefit. This I can tell you from a few experiences. And for gods sake don't think for a second that she's too nice a person to turn on you. Once the lawyers and maybe her friends get a hold of her, she will agree to anything. The lawyer will handle all the details and you'll be left saying "but but but... I thought we were friends".

Good luck, and keep focused on all the good stuff coming your way.
Nathan
 
i am here, doing ok. might go tagret shooting with a girl on sat :rolleyes:. i asked her if she likes to shoot and she says "you bet". she is a friend i met when i worked at wal-mart. she is an outdoor person that i get along with very well.
 
JTknives said:
i am here, doing ok. might go tagret shooting with a girl on sat :rolleyes:. i asked her if she likes to shoot and she says "you bet". she is a friend i met when i worked at wal-mart. she is an outdoor person that i get along with very well.
Click to expand...

It looks like all the advice here worked. Im happy for ya. Youre going to make it through.
 
Yeah bud. Take some time if you need it, just don't dwell on it. I am glad to hear your going out with a gal that likes shooting. That sounds like a fun date!

Mike Sheffield
 
i feel for ya, i cannot imagine the feelings hitting you. but i will say one thing after watching my brother in law deal with an ex wife, do not do anything to hurt any civil relationship that may remain. try to stay nice and not just tell her to screw off, my brother in law ha been dealing with his x wife for i think 12 ish years and she has just made everything hard for him.

so im not saying stay close friends but dont burn bridges, no matter how bad the bridges are
-matt
 
Larod, you are good guy and you do everything right in my opinion. Just do not do too sharp turns along the way. Smooth.... there is no rush in fixing your own life. Take your time, think before do, and stuff like that... You are alright already!
 
ok well shooting went great. she tackled my friends 300 win mag and loved it, first shot allmost knocked her over but then she put 4 more rounds down range without even flinching :eek:. she also unloaded a lot of my 13 round mags for my .45. she is coming over tonight because she wants to learn to make a knife :D. im in no rush, just having fun and injoying life. we are going to make her a kitchen knife out of my M4 power hack saw blades. should be a great slicer with a 5 degree edge:rolleyes:. thanks every one
 
Good news JT:thumbup: On my second divorce now and agree with others here that there is nothing worse when getting yourself together after a serious breakup than to have any more contact than absolutely necessary. And also, tear your radio out of your truck 'cause every song's about you:( I went over a year without listening to the radio on the way to work... (first divorce, anyway)

The reeeeealy good news is that you are going to see in the end how unhappy YOU were, not just her. You just adapted, she did not. Most every guy would like to have a good woman in his life, but it's important to find happiness and worth in life without one. Judging from your posts you're going to be just fine, and a hell of a lot faster than I was.

Freedom may seem unnatural at first, but life is so much better when you realize that you were never free before. I actually got an apology letter from my first ex after... hell, 5 years. Of course she was also looking to get my signature waivering my right to half of her government pension:D. No need for meanness, but disconnect from her tactfully at any turn you can. You'lll heal exponentially faster.

Best wishes for a quick and full recovery, and thanks for the hollow-grinding vid - very inspirational.

Dave
 
ok she called me tonight and told me that the juge signed the devorce papers So now its over for the most part.
 
Sorry for the bad times, my hobbies have got me thru some of the roughest times of my life, even though I had to force myself to pursue them during the worst of it. You will always have yourself.
 
Good (well not good, but OK), now you can move on to a new part of your life. Remember the happy times, forget the rest.Bitterness is an acid that eats the soul.
Stacy
 
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